Sheltered upbringing

[recluse]

I have had what you call a sheltered upbringing and i think it has definately affected my life. I still live in the same house in the countryside and i really like the peace and crime free life. I've had a good upbringing and it has made me into a well mannered and polite person, but on the negative side it has done little to prepare me for the harshness of life.

My mum a dad are anxious people, my mum is the most anxious. My mum gets stressed and tearful very easily and i think this has rubbed off on me. Whenever as a kid i brought a friend home my mum would often take an istant distrust to the friend like ''he's bad news, he's just using you'' and thing like that.

To this day my mum and and dad's upbringing affects me. I get really offended when someone tells me in a jokingly type of way ''god you must have lived a sheltered life'' because that's the truth and the truth hurts.

 

[MikeyC]

My boss once said I have a sheltered life, which I guess is kind of true. Growing up, my mum always saw the negatives to everything and I think that has rubbed off on me. Dad was a little more outgoing but he never really liked going out too much and dislikes it even more now. I never went on holidays anywhere because of my mum and I never got to experience much of the world, which I think I'm paying for now.

Sorry to hear you had such a sheltered upbringing, recluse. Maybe you can change that now by going out and exploring things?

 

[recluse]

I have been lucky really, we used to go on holiday all the time, got food on the table, clothes, nice Christmas presents but my mother made us believe that something bad was going to happen to us which made us scared. I've lived life in a bubble. You know i compare people who have had tough upbringings, been exposed to crime and things and they are tougher people who are often better off in life, i mean have careers and things because they had no choice but to work hard to get out of their lives.

I am seen as ''goody goody twoshoes'' by many people because i don't go out partying etc, live a reclusive life and i hate it because it implies that i am a boring person. I got tattoos done and people who know me judge me that i am ''not the type to get tattoos''...It's like i am constantly judged no matter what i do.

 

[MikeyC]

It's good that you were clothed and fed, but that constant paranoia from your mum doesn't help your upbringing. You have enough on your plate just going through the various stages of growing up that you don't need the constant, unneeded fear of "something bad" happening. I guess she was trying to hide you from the negativity the world brings and it's probably had more disastrous effects than what she thinks.

Have you talked to your mum about this?

 

[recluse]

No it would upset her. My mum gets upset very easily. She threatened to commit suicide in front of me and my sister when we were kids. I look at old photos of us and in most she is not smiling and looks very depressed so i think she suffers from depression but keeps it quiet. Once she almost ripped a door off it's hinges through rage at my dad.

 

[Section_31]

My wife had this same kind of upbringing, very similar story, small town, far from any city, very very similar....and shes had a very tough time adjusting to big city life, thuogh in the last few yrs shes been doing much better with it.

In regards to your mother, she ALSO sounds alot like mine :S

Hang in there man.

 

[recluse]

Yeah exactly. When i go to a large town/city particularily if i haven't been for a long time i feel panicky with all the people, the pace of life, the noise, the traffic. I'm like that old guy in Shawshank redemption who gets released after many decades and he can't adjust to outside life.

 

[Littlewilly]

I have had what you call a sheltered upbringing and i think it has definately affected my life. I still live in the same house in the countryside and i really like the peace and crime free life. I've had a good upbringing and it has made me into a well mannered and polite person, but on the negative side it has done little to prepare me for the harshness of life.

My mum a dad are anxious people, my mum is the most anxious. My mum gets stressed and tearful very easily and i think this has rubbed off on me. Whenever as a kid i brought a friend home my mum would often take an istant distrust to the friend like ''he's bad news, he's just using you'' and thing like that.

To this day my mum and and dad's upbringing affects me. I get really offended when someone tells me in a jokingly type of way ''god you must have lived a sheltered life'' because that's the truth and the truth hurts.

I can sympathize with you there because I feel the same sometimes although my parents never critisized any of my friends I brought home but my Mum could be very Anxious & hyper at times especially as she aged but my Dad was the firm one & was alot stronger probably due to his hard upbringing.
I think at times I was sheltered by them for safety of certain things in life.

 

[MikeyC]

She threatened to commit suicide in front of me and my sister when we were kids.

That is obviously not regular maternal behaviour so I would wager she is quite depressed. Sorry to hear you had to deal with that at such a tender age.

 

[Fighter86]

Yea I had a sheltered upbringing as well. My mother is quite childish in the way she expresses herself. Eg. When we did something that made her angry, she would lash out at us in anger and frustration, not explaning to us why she did what she did. Basically a very emotional person. She also refused us outings with friends etc.keeping us home.


As for my father he has no problems interacting with people at all but unfortunately he also prefers sheltered unbringing. In fact I still remembered at the age of 18 they were still very reluctant to let me spend the night at friends' places.


The sheltered upbringing made me completely unable to deal with life's challenges. When confronted with schooling issues or office politics I just simply did not know what to do. Its awful to say the least. It is unlikely I have children but if I do I would never ever bring them up the same way I did, it would destroy them seriously. Because I can see it in myself despite being in my 20s I still have very childish behavior which I have been unable to overcome. Not a good way to go through life like this.