Separation anxiety

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
I think I may have separation anxiety. My mom has always pretty much done everything for me and not being much of a people person (SA) I've come to pretty much spend all my time with my mom and dad, and now being alone is terrifying that and the idea of growing up and moving out. Does this sound like seperation anxiety, and if so does anyone else have it? It'd be nice to talk to someone who does cause I really think I have it :(
 

Etbow23

Well-known member
I'd say it's faded some throughout the years but I used to have a big problem with this as a child. Whenever I was separated from my mother I would be very upset. I remember we were in Cali and she had to go someplace so she left me at this camp..place and when she visited after a few days I stayed in our cabin across the way crying and the other girls stood outside singing for me to come outside because they could hear me crying and screaming really loud. But my mom wouldn't let me stay w her :( I dont know what she was doing.

Also I used to have this at school. I had to see the guidance counselor in elementary school because my teacher saw my face was turning bright red in class and I was holding back tears and if I tried to talk I'd start crying. Then the other kids made fun saying I was having an affair with the guidance counselor, Mr Gregory :(

I still have that feeling to an extent but I don't feel as attached to my mother anymore because of things that have happened I guess.

But I have separation anxiety with my boyfriend. Sometimes I feel like I can't do things without him there, and he works all day most everyday. And I feel anxiety over something and just wish he could be there to console me. It feels the way I used to feel when I couldn't stand being away from my mom.

I still feel it to an extent with my mother, but I feel like she's changed, she's not as an affectionate person as she was or something before.
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
I'd say it's faded some throughout the years but I used to have a big problem with this as a child. Whenever I was separated from my mother I would be very upset. I remember we were in Cali and she had to go someplace so she left me at this camp..place and when she visited after a few days I stayed in our cabin across the way crying and the other girls stood outside singing for me to come outside because they could hear me crying and screaming really loud. But my mom wouldn't let me stay w her :( I dont know what she was doing.

Also I used to have this at school. I had to see the guidance counselor in elementary school because my teacher saw my face was turning bright red in class and I was holding back tears and if I tried to talk I'd start crying. Then the other kids made fun saying I was having an affair with the guidance counselor, Mr Gregory :(

I still have that feeling to an extent but I don't feel as attached to my mother anymore because of things that have happened I guess.

But I have separation anxiety with my boyfriend. Sometimes I feel like I can't do things without him there, and he works all day most everyday. And I feel anxiety over something and just wish he could be there to console me. It feels the way I used to feel when I couldn't stand being away from my mom.

I still feel it to an extent with my mother, but I feel like she's changed, she's not as an affectionate person as she was or something before.

Oh wow! Like I said my mom always did stuff for me and going to school was fine even though I didn't like going :p I'm glad its gotten somewhat better at least in regards to your mom. That sucks! For me especially right now if I didn't have my dad to be here when my moms at work I'd go crazy :/ I hope it gets better for you. I'm sorry to hear that about your mom, I don't know what I'd do if my mom stopped being so affectionate. Have you actually been diagnosed with it? Just wondering *shrugs* Thanks for replying! :D
 
I had that as a child. Bawled my eyes out when my brother started school, and when mum left me at kindergarten.
I seem to need at all times, wherever i am, SOMETHING with me, to act as like a "mother-replacement" (to make me feel "safe"). Nowadays all my house clutter seems to fill this need (& i guess i feel the "separation anxiety" whenever i change sth in house, no matter how small).
I think having separation anxiety (or "clinginess") is a result part of having major nervous/anxiety/timidity problems.

And i think i'm ever so gradually getting used to the idea that my parents will one day no longer be here. So i'm trying to rely more on other things now for "stability" (like my semi-religious/life/god/etc beliefs). Still, when they have both gone, i feel that half of me will also be gone, as they have been a huge part of my life. Just will have to deal with that when it happens, but although probably 20/so years away, already i am dreading it :(
 
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Etbow23

Well-known member
Oh wow! Like I said my mom always did stuff for me and going to school was fine even though I didn't like going :p I'm glad its gotten somewhat better at least in regards to your mom. That sucks! For me especially right now if I didn't have my dad to be here when my moms at work I'd go crazy :/ I hope it gets better for you. I'm sorry to hear that about your mom, I don't know what I'd do if my mom stopped being so affectionate. Have you actually been diagnosed with it? Just wondering *shrugs* Thanks for replying! :D



No, I haven't been diagnosed with it.

Good Luck!
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
I had severe separation anxiety during my first relationship, which lasted four years and ended a little over five years ago. I'm not sure how I got over it, but I don't have problems with it anymore.
I have several memories of being young and yelling or crying for my mom, and for whatever reason she couldn't hear me or didn't respond. I have seven older siblings, so there were obviously times when she was distracted, or when she was busy and my siblings were looking after me.
I'm sorry I don't have more advice to give you, just that I know how you're feeling.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
I think I may have separation anxiety. My mom has always pretty much done everything for me and not being much of a people person (SA) I've come to pretty much spend all my time with my mom and dad, and now being alone is terrifying that and the idea of growing up and moving out. Does this sound like seperation anxiety, and if so does anyone else have it? It'd be nice to talk to someone who does cause I really think I have it :(


I don't know where you draw the line between normal feelings of being afraid of not being with your mom and "separation anxiety". It is just a label anyways. Those feelings seem pretty normal to me though. I certainly had them three months ago when I moved to a completely different country where I know nobody...

I don't know if this will help or not but what really helped me was to remember that I am able to stay in contact with my mother, family and friends no matter where I go via the internet, Skype or by calling them....I know the feeling and it is no fun but your mom isn't going to disappear from your life when you move out and after you have been moved out for a while you will have gotten used to not being around her all the time....

You can also use these feelings to your advantage and take advantage of the times you are with her. Just remember that right now, if I am not mistaken, you have not separated from her yet and concentrate on that....Dont waste the remaining time that you will be around her a lot worrying about missing her in the future......Live for right now and appreciate the times you do have with her.

Sorry if that doesn't help haha
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
I had that as a child. Bawled my eyes out when my brother started school, and when mum left me at kindergarten.
I seem to need at all times, wherever i am, SOMETHING with me, to act as like a "mother-replacement" (to make me feel "safe"). Nowadays all my house clutter seems to fill this need (& i guess i feel the "separation anxiety" whenever i change sth in house, no matter how small).
I think having separation anxiety (or "clinginess") is a result part of having major nervous/anxiety/timidity problems.

And i think i'm ever so gradually getting used to the idea that my parents will one day no longer be here. So i'm trying to rely more on other things now for "stability" (like my semi-religious/life/god/etc beliefs). Still, when they have both gone, i feel that half of me will also be gone, as they have been a huge part of my life. Just will have to deal with that when it happens, but although probably 20/so years away, already i am dreading it :(

I'm the same way with needing something with me when my parents aren't around and it sucks! :/

Oh God those thoughts of my parents no longer being here is what started my anxiety problems so I know what your talking about. I try not to think about it too much but it creeps up on me sometimes :/ I admire you for being so adult about it though. Thanks for replying! :D
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
I don't know where you draw the line between normal feelings of being afraid of not being with your mom and "separation anxiety". It is just a label anyways. Those feelings seem pretty normal to me though. I certainly had them three months ago when I moved to a completely different country where I know nobody...

I don't know if this will help or not but what really helped me was to remember that I am able to stay in contact with my mother, family and friends no matter where I go via the internet, Skype or by calling them....I know the feeling and it is no fun but your mom isn't going to disappear from your life when you move out and after you have been moved out for a while you will have gotten used to not being around her all the time....

You can also use these feelings to your advantage and take advantage of the times you are with her. Just remember that right now, if I am not mistaken, you have not separated from her yet and concentrate on that....Dont waste the remaining time that you will be around her a lot worrying about missing her in the future......Live for right now and appreciate the times you do have with her.

Sorry if that doesn't help haha

I draw the line when it becomes pretty impossible to be by myself and when I get a panic attack because of it. Yea I do find it comforting knowing I can call them if I need them and I have recently been using that thought of "Enjoy the time with them now, don't get upset over something that hasn't happened, and remembering I still have time".

It did help thanks! :D
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
From what I know of you, it does sound a lot like separation anxiety. If you get too anxious and worried if you're separated from your mother, even for a small amount of time, it does become a problem of some kind. Best to talk to your therapist about that kind of thing.

I've never had anything like this before so unfortunately I can't relate but I can provide an ear if needed. :)
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
I had severe separation anxiety during my first relationship, which lasted four years and ended a little over five years ago. I'm not sure how I got over it, but I don't have problems with it anymore.
I have several memories of being young and yelling or crying for my mom, and for whatever reason she couldn't hear me or didn't respond. I have seven older siblings, so there were obviously times when she was distracted, or when she was busy and my siblings were looking after me.
I'm sorry I don't have more advice to give you, just that I know how you're feeling.

Really? I'm glad you've been able to get over it :D

Its ok its nice knowing that other people feel the same way or have so thank-you for responding :]
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
From what I know of you, it does sound a lot like separation anxiety. If you get too anxious and worried if you're separated from your mother, even for a small amount of time, it does become a problem of some kind. Best to talk to your therapist about that kind of thing.

I've never had anything like this before so unfortunately I can't relate but I can provide an ear if needed. :)

Yea I think so too lol I will talk to her about it I just wanted to see what people thought on here and see if anybody else had it *shrugs*

It's OK! Thanks it really helps having someone to talk to, the same goes for you too! :]
 

emre43

Well-known member
It's pretty much the same with me. Although I want to become independent. I've never learned how to look after myself because my parents have always done everything for me.

Do you think if I worked all day and found a stay-at-home girlfriend I could get away with doing no housework, haha?
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
It's pretty much the same with me. Although I want to become independent. I've never learned how to look after myself because my parents have always done everything for me.

Do you think if I worked all day and found a stay-at-home girlfriend I could get away with doing no housework, haha?

Yea I feel ya, it almost makes me wish they never took much interest in me lol

lmao that's kinda what I was hoping to do but I guess I could be the girlfriend that does all the housework :p
 

emre43

Well-known member
Yea I feel ya, it almost makes me wish they never took much interest in me lol

lmao that's kinda what I was hoping to do but I guess I could be the girlfriend that does all the housework :p

I agree to an extent. I wish that they just taught me how to do domestic chores; it might sound harsh but that's the only interest I wish they gave to me.

At least we're both on the same wavelength. Maybe there are others out there who feel the same way that we can relate to :)
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
I agree to an extent. I wish that they just taught me how to do domestic chores; it might sound harsh but that's the only interest I wish they gave to me.

At least we're both on the same wavelength. Maybe there are others out there who feel the same way that we can relate to :)

hah right?! At least then I wouldn't be so freaked out about not being able to look after myself.

Yea I hope so, its nice knowing I'm not the only one like this.
 
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