Self criticizing thoughts...

[tweetebird]

This is something I have experienced that I cannot stand. After being brave, and being social, and maybe even having a pretty good time (as much as is possible for someone like me) I will go home, and while trying to go to sleep, my mind will replay everything I said over and over. It starts to turn everything I said into something stupid, or foolish. It also dissects every reaction I got, looking for the negative. It's super super annoying and discouraging, and not something I have control of. I mean, I realize it's my mind, but it seems to be some subconscious process that kicks in while I am trying to get to sleep. Again, this happens even if I had a pretty good time, and sometimes I only experience anxiety about the event after these stupid automatic replays start. Does anyone else experience this, and if so, have you found any way to stop these intrusive thoughts?

 

[lunaticbinge]

Oh yeah. I always think of the perfect responses when i'm thinking about what was said later. I wish I had a time machine so i could perfect all of my responses. Stupid things I said or did that other people probably didn't even notice will eat away at my mind.

 

[Anti Matter]

Do it all the time dude, every single time I communicate with someone and screw up what I'm saying I always know later on what I could of said which would of been a 100% better.

Kick myself all the time for doing it.

 

[coyote]

I do this, too.

I still think about conversations I had in high school, and what I could have said.

I'm 46, mind you.

 

[Overload]

This is something I've done a lot. I think I'm starting to learn to control it though.

 

[Silvox Black]

You speak of self-rumination. It can turn into a troubling, debilitating ordeal when you are attempting to find rest or relaxation. The best ways to counteract it would be to create more self confidence and self assurance, which you seem to be working well at seeing as how you go on so many social outings. I would suggest speaking to people you trust to care about your troubles and any thoughts that bother you. Finding empathy from others can assist in alleviating the pain.

 

[tweetebird]

You speak of self-rumination. It can turn into a troubling, debilitating ordeal when you are attempting to find rest or relaxation. The best ways to counteract it would be to create more self confidence and self assurance, which you seem to be working well at seeing as how you go on so many social outings. I would suggest speaking to people you trust to care about your troubles and any thoughts that bother you. Finding empathy from others can assist in alleviating the pain.

I don't go on many social outings, maybe once a month, if that. Thank you for the official term, I can start researching like mad now

 

[sevenroses]

I do the exact same sometimes but instead of replaying everything i say over and over I actually repeat it out loud sometimes. My parents sometimes look at me in a weird way when I do that sometimes.

 

[EasySkanking]

With practice my friend... everything is accomplished in small steps. You're a smart guy, so I wont tell you how to go about it, but find a way to fight that habit of having negative thoughts when you go to bed... your mind will eventually accept this new way of thinking as its normal state to be when you go to bed. Your new habit will be to be in a peaceful state (or whatever you want it to be). Practice - repetition

 

[Angelhawk]

Oh yeah, I do this all the time -- not that I ever go to any social events, or have contact with people every day. I will even analyze what I said to a store clerk, a guy who asked directions, the mailman, whatever. I think that if one has a lot of contact with people, one isn't so likely to make such a big deal out of personal interaction. Now, if I could just do that......