Selective Relations

[Apersonalan]

Whatever I do I have no enthusiasm to meet strangers even if I'm not really afraid I just see no point and that in itself makes me not want to do it and I even do my best to get away from it. My friend on the other hand wants to do nothing but that he goes on dating sites all the time just to hook up he doesn't care if he knows them or not but he always knows they'll end up in his apartment by the days end or on a date or in bed. I wonder how to be like that even if it's just meeting new people and not gender specific. I can want to get far away as possible from people but when it comes to people I already know no matter who they're all I want to talk to or be with. I'm selective and only know people who know me because of it do I even need to social network??

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I'm kinda like you like even if i'm not super scared I still don't want to talk. If your satisfied with what you have now you don't need a huge social network. Just because someone has a lot of friends doesn't mean they have quality friendships even though some just juggle it better I guess. I don't try to talk that much because it's really draining with most people but I have some relationships so just satified with that. Some days I really could care less what other people think and just want to focus on the relationships I have. More people think this than you may think think. Just make sure to have fun and stuff but don't make yourself do things unless you want it. It's not like you have to "click" with everyone, but when you do take care of what you have now or what you could have. Also just try to be friendly with people which is basically hello just so other people don't feel invisible around you and it hurts their feelings sometimes, since it seems like a lot of people like attention.

 

[Apersonalan]

I SHOULD say hello to people more because being quiet all those years and keeping it to myself is what really made those around me at the time disappear.

 

[Gaucho]

hey, i know how you feel, happens to me.

even when i don't have SA at some point, i sometimes see no point in talking with a person, because I think that it wouldn't lead to anything, it wouldn't change anything in my life. This thinking process is bad tho, because its not true, in every new situation we are able to learn and experience something new, what can lead to something unexpected new.
But now i have high SA anyways, so i only have fear in talking with new people.

 

[ShelbyModerateSP]

I'm the same way, I hate letting new people into my life, I'm happy with the friends I have now and being single. but i'm that way because of my social phobia and how it has grown over the years and by getting hurt by relationships and friendships. People being this way though comes about for many different reasons. Just know you're not alone in feeling this way

 

[da_illest101]

Same thing here, I don't have many friends and I prefer to keep it that way. i'm not a people person and will never become one.

 

[Hoppy]

Depends on how selective. Last year I've decided to cut all contact with everyone and will start over whenever I feel like it. If they contact me I will answer and reciprocate, but I am not going to force myself into placs where I don't feel welcome.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

Whatever I do I have no enthusiasm to meet strangers even if I'm not really afraid I just see no point and that in itself makes me not want to do it

I feel the same quite a lot. There are people around who I could probably make friends with, but I just don't see the point, even though I am very lonely. I'm not sure exactly why, the best reason I can come up with is that it's a sort of subconscious thing... In that I feel the friends I had at school (the only time of life when I had friends) were the best I can get. I spent years and years getting to know them and them getting to know me, and to start again is just too much work. I suppose in the end it comes down to a sort of "why make friends with this person, they'll never be as good as the ones I had at school" mentality.

 

[ShelbyModerateSP]

I feel the same quite a lot. There are people around who I could probably make friends with, but I just don't see the point

I feel slightly the same, I just don't like the awkwardness at the beginning of a friendship. I've gotten better at small talk, but I'm still not the best at it, same with relationships, that's why I just tend to stick with the people I know already.

 

[market.garden]

I think what puts me off making new friends when the opportunity arrives, or at least what makes it hard for me to make new friends, is that it seems so exhausting.

I feel as though if I'm not in regular contact with someone, then the friendship will fizzle out, or not even properly start. Calling, meeting, socialising - it's really draining sometimes even just thinking about it.