Seeing the doctor again

[aj]

So I haven't been able to make friends, ever. Not even in playschool. So there's clearly something wrong. Nobody I know will give me any advice and so I think the doctor is the only way. Last time I went to see him I just got told to go on holiday... I can't get across how I feel, and I also begin to doubt how bad it is. If I see him again, does anyone have any advice to hopefully push him for a bit more help?

Thanks for anything ::

 

[mmmm]

I'm afraid I'll have to give you a very pessimistic answer.


First of all let me ask whether there are any doctors here on SPW. If so I apologise in advance.

To put it in a nutshell, doctors are intelligent, outgoing winners. They are used to being liked and being in control of situations. They also believe in the theory that anything can be achieved through perseverance and hard work (they are a doctor, after all) which is exactly the approach most of them will take with you when discussing your SA. So brace yourself for a good dose of deep-breath meditation, thinking positive thoughts and possibly some tranquilisers to take the edge off your anxiety along with your ability to speak without drooling.

 

[mmmm]

I'm afraid I'll have to give you a very pessimistic answer.


First of all let me ask whether there are any doctors here on SPW. If so I apologise in advance.

To put it in a nutshell, doctors are intelligent, outgoing winners. They are used to being liked and being in control of situations. They also believe in the theory that anything can be achieved through perseverance and hard work (they are a doctor, after all) which is exactly the approach most of them will take with you when discussing your SA. So brace yourself for a good dose of deep-breath meditation, thinking positive thoughts and possibly some tranquilisers to take the edge off your anxiety along with your ability to speak without drooling.

 

[mmmm]

Oops, posted twice. Sorry. Don't know how that happened.

 

[aj]

Thanks for that. Well at least I know what I'm up against. I kind of expected it to be like that really. I just want something... if I can't get any help from him then I think the only option is to give up because there is nothing else. Either that or just pick some professional at random so I can at least eliminate things. Ugh.

 

[Feathers]

Well, personally I prefer researching things from books and internet myself... I also learnt a lot from my roommates and flatmates..

aj, does your family have friends? Do you know anyone who has friends? Can you observe those people? You can learn a lot by observation - tone of voice, gestures, mimics, posture, words used, etc.

Also, what do you consider fun? Is there a place where other people who also like those things hang out? Are there clubs or societies for that? Conferences? Meet-ups on Meetup.com? Look around, what's available?
It can be easier to meet people if you already know they are interested in similar things as you are, and there's a program so you don't have to talk much to start with etc!

 

[aj]

No... my parents are in their sixties and though they aren't recluses they don't do anything social, my brother is in his thirties and doesn't ever go out, my sister is also in her thirties, probably does a little more but has moved out and started a family. So no, I have nobody to follow whatsoever. Wouldn't it be good...

Not into anything I've seen on meetup.com I'm afraid. And I hate groups and organised stuff, sorry, I just do. ::

What I find amazing is that a lot of people say their main interest is going out with friends, and if you ignore that then they basically do nothing.

 

[aj]

I'll have a look again but there didn't seem to be much... I suppose it gets much easier to find something if you're from a busier area.

 

[Untamed88]

I have never been to a doctor and never will, I seriously would have be dying before I asked anyone else for any sort of help. I'm not about to offload my problems on some stranger.

 

[Feathers]

No... my parents are in their sixties and though they aren't recluses they don't do anything social, my brother is in his thirties and doesn't ever go out, my sister is also in her thirties, probably does a little more but has moved out and started a family. So no, I have nobody to follow whatsoever. Wouldn't it be good...

Not into anything I've seen on meetup.com I'm afraid. And I hate groups and organised stuff, sorry, I just do. ::

What I find amazing is that a lot of people say their main interest is going out with friends, and if you ignore that then they basically do nothing.

hmm, my parents weren't very much into meeting with friends either, moved to a new area, mom didn't know anyone here.. she now volunteers with a charity and has met many people there.. Is there anything locally you might like to volunteer with? (Sometimes it doesn't have to be 'organised', just maybe visiting and older lady... or doing some 'clean-up' action or park/garden work or such...)
Or a language course or something you could join?

Can you post on meetup and start a group? Maybe someone else would join and is bored at home??
How many people are you comfortable with?

Yup, some people are boring Or just into shopping or such.. maybe just never learnt to have hobbies or interesting interests.. (my coz is a bit like that, comes from a family where no one had hobbies or such..)

What are your interests?

 

[aj]

Hi everyone. I hope I don't go back on myself too much here, but in the end I did see my doctor. At the end of January he put me on 20mg of Celexa a day. It did nothing, so he moved me up to 40mg. Again, nothing, so he moved me onto 50mg Zoloft a day. Still nothing. Because of that I even occasionally forgot to take it, and I got no withdrawl symptoms, when the paperwork says you’re meant to come off it very gradually! In fact I've had a prescription for a further month and I can barely be bothered to get it, especially when I’ve got to waste my own money on it, which I don't have much of right now. I have had a blood test done too which I also need to get the results for – I’m sure it’ll be completely normal.

He is insistent that I get a job or join a club. I know they help, but I honestly don’t think they’d do much for me as I am right now. I have had a job, with 80+ colleagues, and I tried everything I could think of. I attempted to speak to new people. I got to the point of joining the people I worked with for a drink after work and even my first ever Christmas party. I went to the office ones too, which ended up with me standing around like an idiot as I always have. I felt great and more comfortable than ever. But still, nothing worked.

Just getting another one will not change things (much). It makes you feel better, yes... but it's like it's 'fake', because when you leave, you realise you got nowhere with the people you met, and really you were just caught up in some kind of extra long moment. I need to find out why it never 'evolves' like it should.

I feel like I haven’t got it across to him. He just seems to be saying that getting a job and taking the pills which do nothing will fix everything. I hoped that taking medication would help but it's done nothing. I so, so wish that it would be that easy. Is there anything I can try to point him in the direction of next time I see him? A counselor, anything?

 

[deadend]

Hey aj, I would ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, if possible. I just saw a doc and I asked for a few specific things so that we're not waisting each others' time: the referral, a benzo, and something for sleep. I was told since I didn't have insurance that I wouldn't be able to see a psychiatrist for more than 1 visit so I opted for the alternative, a nurse mental health practitioner for the county health center. At least this way I'll be able to follow up on a longer term basis (and it's much cheaper). As far as meds go, I got a prescription for Zoloft, Klonopin, and Ambien. In other words, I got just what I asked for and no troubles.

Being that you're seeing a general doc, he won't do much besides prescribe you meds. And those kinds of docs tend to be busy so they rush from patient to patient. The care you are seeking requires a referral. That's my advice.

 

[aj]

Thanks Deadend. I have made an appointment to see my doctor on Tuesday. I'll ask him if I can see a psychiatrist and I'll see what happens. It does feel like I need somebody who can find the real problem, if there is one, so it feels right to ask. Hope it works

 

[deadend]

No problem. I hope you get the help you're looking for. You should post an update to tell us how it went.