Reservations/Not attending Christmas party

[sevenroses]

I feel a little stressed after the staff meeting. During the meeting they talked about the Christmas party and who was going to attend. So they passed a sheet of paper around to sign whether you are going to attend so they can make reservations. The first 3 people filled out the attendance Christmas party sheet. I was the forth person and when the sheet got to me I felt like I had to sign my name which I did and not make a big scene by not filling it out. After I passed the sheet on, the next person decided not to fill it out then almost everyone else didn't fill the sheet out while it was being passed around. I only filled the sheet because the first 3 people filled it out and not wanting to make a big scene. I don't really want to attend the Christmas party. I probably might just not show up but I don't want to get into trouble by reserving myself a space then not ending up showing. I feel stressed today.

PS-After reservations is done, can they really tell that you are missing if you don't attend but already made a reservation. I don't want to be a center of attention for not going and finding out that I didn't go. I guess I have to dwell on this for a couple of more weeks

 

[just wanna b normal]

why dont you just change your answer make up a lie like i have to be somewhere else...

 

[sevenroses]

I can't seem to do it because they know it's going to be a lie. I don't really know how these reservations work but I hope they can't really tell with me not going. It's going to be at some cash bar place with pool. I hope it's not noticeable if I don't come but had reserved myself. I hope I won't be getting into big trouble making a reservation but not showing up. That's what I'm also concerned about since I most likely might do that.

 

[just wanna b normal]

just make up something im going to one of my friends party so i cant make it just speak in confidence so they wont know its a lie. i think you should go just to learn social skills face your fears to overcome them do research on your SA to help you better to understand it to overcome it.

 

[sevenroses]

What would happen if I just don't go but had already made a reservation? Would that be a big deal because I didn't do that before. I rather not go because lots of managers are going to attend as well as workers I don't really work with and not a lot of coworkers (like the main group I work with) are going to even attend since most of them passed the attendance/reservation sheet around without even filling it right after I signed it.

 

[Richey]

If you don't turn up then its not a big deal at all ...the worst that will happen is 2-3 people will question you the following day at work.

Most people are mature enough to understand and will take it in their stride and will brush it aside.

Going to parties is literally like rolling a dice, you could have an incredible night and surprise yourself or it could go really badly and you just want to hide and people think you are a party pooper. This is what i have found anyway.

One thing to remember is that you can turn up and just chill and say you are tired if you feel its too much...

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I know it's difficult, but if you don't plan on going, you are going to have to let them know that you won't be able to make it.

I know it causes a lot of stress and anxiety to think haabout going, or to think about what happens if you don't show up, or to have to tell them that you aren't going. I also understand what it's like to not want to be the only person who doesn't sign the paper, no one wants to stand out and have all eyes on them.

But if it's something you had to make reservations for, they are going to be expecting you to be there. They may spend extra money for your spot, and then if you don't show up, they would have spent that money for nothing.

I am not trying to be cruel or make things harder for you. But I think it's a good idea to challenge yourself and let them know you aren't going to make it. Just quickly walk in and say, "Sorry, something personal came up and I am not going to be able to make it to the Christmas party."

It's just, one of my pet peeves is when someone makes a commitment and then backs down from it without any word at all. You are going to have to learn how to say no thanks or live with the consequences of making a commitment, eventually. It's only fair to everyone else.

I don't mean to be an actual BuzzKill and I hope that I don't make you feel bad. I could be the only person that feels this way, so you don't really have to listen to my suggestion anyway.

 

[sevenroses]

I hate this because if I tell them I wont go they would think I'm anti social. I was hoping they wouldn't know since the party is going to be at a pub with pool etc.

 

[mads]

I hate this because if I tell them I wont go they would think I'm anti social. I was hoping they wouldn't know since the party is going to be at a pub with pool etc.

What about trying to go and lets say you dont like it, send a sms to one of your friends/family members to call you, and then you can say to the party, something came up so you had to work.

I think you should try to go, it could be fun for you

 

[sevenroses]

Not a lot of people I work with signed the reservation sheet only the first 3 people did so i signed it cause i was the forth person and maybe 2 other people. It's not like my "close" coworker friends are going to attend. It'll just be all managers and some people at other divisions of my job that I haven't even worked with. It's not like I'm going to magically become buddy buddies with them. I plan on just not attending but not telling them even though I RSVP'd. It's some pub and I'm not sure if they would take attendance or be some seating plan with name tags to see who didn't come or not. I unno.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Hey, why not consider going, just to challenge yourself or to do something you really didn't want to do and see it as an accomplishment? Or exposure? Practice.. An option!

 

[sevenroses]

I unno. I already have to much exposure with the people I work with. We are essentially in the same room for 8 hours 5 days a week with a lot of downtime so we have to socialize. I attend regular staff meetings and by the vibe of the staff meeting I can almost picture the same vibe with me and them if I do attend the Christmas party. I unno. I'll think about it

 

[MollyBeGood]

I hate Christmas parties. Hey I figured out a benefit to being unemployed lol