Reliances that get you through the day

[EscapeArtist]

Do you have a reliance on something? Alcohol, gaming, drugs, (obviously the computer will be mentioned often!), running, eating, cutting.

Something that you feel like you need to get by.

Second question: Is it harmful or helpful.


I mention this because I feel a reliance for alcohol and pot forming in my own life, I already have quite a food problem with this whole celiacs thing, which makes bread feel like opiates to my body. I also rely on the computer, the television, the future and my bike. Only one of these isn't harmful to me, which would be my bike. Relying on the future is the most harmful. I expect that I will be far from my life by next year, I see my future as full of bliss and everything I ever wanted, it's the only things that gets me out of bed each morning... well, and the other reliances. I see it as the most harmful because it makes me hope for life, and if I am let down it could cause me to hope for death.

I would say that pot and alcohol are keeping me going by giving me something to look forward to in the short term. Lucky and unlucky for me, I don't have a direct source for either one, so when any of these reliances are out of my reach I turn into a disaster-of a human. If I were to expose myself currently I would feel myself reaching for a bottle, seeing I get extreme cravings in public.

Now your turn. I'm hoping to not feel so alone. I feel as if I have many reliances and it makes me feel very pathetic. If I knew how to add a poll.. I would. How do you add polls?

 

[vj288]

Music, or the listening of it. It levels me out most of the time, and it makes me feel less alone too. At first glance most would say it's helpful, but that's debatable. In my experience music does effect mood, and I'm not sure if the thousands of times I've listened to Criminal by Fiona Apple ever really helped me. The first listen I thought she was taking my feelings and putting them into song, but maybe that could be a negative reinforcer (She's not singing about rainbows and sunshine). It doesn't physically hurt me, but the emotional implications may not be great for me.

Cutting used to be an outlet, but that was when I thought there was no way out, and maybe going through this pain and making these scars would make something happen, on one level I'd call it a call for help that no one saw. That was harmful.

Now I seem to be stabbing my palms with my pen whenever I start to get a little worked up and it unfortunately does help, again not good.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Music, or the listening of it. It levels me out most of the time, and it makes me feel less alone too. At first glance most would say it's helpful, but that's debatable. In my experience music does effect mood, and I'm not sure if the thousands of times I've listened to Criminal by Fiona Apple ever really helped me. The first listen I thought she was taking my feelings and putting them into song, but maybe that could be a negative reinforcer (She's not singing about rainbows and sunshine). It doesn't physically hurt me, but the emotional implications may not be great for me.

I know what you mean about music. I used to be obsessed with radiohead (no offence to radiohead, still a good band) but most of their songs are very depressing. Although I could relate, it made me feel the depression more, it amplified those emotions and knotted them up rather than releasing them.

 

[OneOh1]

Music helps most of the time. It takes my mind off of myself, especially if I'm high. It really helps me concentrate on important tasks like homework, instead of being depressed all the time. But I can't enjoy any music that have vocals in it anymore, It either has to be all instrumentals or rap. If I hear any kind of love songs like you hear on the radio, all this anger towards myself arises and I end up depressed again, I ****ing hate it.

Pot is the only thing that makes me feel cheerful nowadays. It helps relieve the fear of expressing emotions when I'm around others, so it helps in certain social situations.
I would drink more often but I have no source for it, only pot. Which I believe is better that way.

 

[IAMN]

The Internet, music, and sunshine. I can't imagining going to the library when I want to learn something like an idiot... those were awful days. Music because it accentuates any emotion I wish. I get irritated and depressed when I don't get enough sun. I also drink once a night every week-- around Friday my body definitely starts craving it. I haven't smoked pot in years and I would definitely switch(alcohol is bad in so many ways)... but pot is just too addicting, leads to worst things, and, where i live, too expensive and sub-par.

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking forward to substances, but as you have already noticed, the comedown is a bitch. In my experience, I haven't found any individual thing in life more pleasurable and "worthwhile" than the drugs... it's just the summation of all these things is greater than the drugs. I would say then find a balance between being high and being able to do the other things you enjoy.

Do you have a reliance on something? Alcohol, gaming, drugs, (obviously the computer will be mentioned often!), running, eating, cutting.

Something that you feel like you need to get by.

Second question: Is it harmful or helpful.


I mention this because I feel a reliance for alcohol and pot forming in my own life, I already have quite a food problem with this whole celiacs thing, which makes bread feel like opiates to my body. I also rely on the computer, the television, the future and my bike. Only one of these isn't harmful to me, which would be my bike. Relying on the future is the most harmful. I expect that I will be far from my life by next year, I see my future as full of bliss and everything I ever wanted, it's the only things that gets me out of bed each morning... well, and the other reliances. I see it as the most harmful because it makes me hope for life, and if I am let down it could cause me to hope for death.

I would say that pot and alcohol are keeping me going by giving me something to look forward to in the short term. Lucky and unlucky for me, I don't have a direct source for either one, so when any of these reliances are out of my reach I turn into a disaster-of a human. If I were to expose myself currently I would feel myself reaching for a bottle, seeing I get extreme cravings in public.

Now your turn. I'm hoping to not feel so alone. I feel as if I have many reliances and it makes me feel very pathetic. If I knew how to add a poll.. I would. How do you add polls?

 

[sanitariumcalls]

I mention this because I feel a reliance for alcohol and pot forming in my own life

I hate to sound insensitive but it doesn't help your case that you live in BC... great bud...


Anyway, I smoke a bowl here and there but my daily reliance is definitely music. If I don't have my music with me at all times or within easy access I go completely berserk. A few years ago my headphones broke on me, so I pawned some movies and games for the money for a replacement set. Its bad...

My kitchen too. If I can't cook complete meals everyday I feel worthless and lazy and want to hide in my room and get drunk in the dark...

 

[EscapeArtist]

I hate to sound insensitive but it doesn't help your case that you live in BC... great bud...

true. Most if not all of the weed in my area is unpleasantly strong, the kind that easily triggers schizophrenia or panic attacks. Ick

 

[PunkRotten]

Computer is a big one. But I find it harmful and would prefer to spend very little time on it. The days I am out all day I feel so great compared to one of those days sitting at the computer for hours. Other than that, I have fish tanks and one of them is a planted tank I take care of. I also like other plants, I have some cactus and I am growing a few lemon trees. Things like this give me a little happiness and peace, and without them I'd probably be worse off. Cooking is another thing I like to do, gives me peace of mind and its fun.


playing guitar takes my mind of things too. Everyone once in awhile I play some videogames, but like the computer I get burned out really easy.

 

[coyote]

Something I need to get by on a day to day basis is talking to people I am comfortable with. If I have prolonged bouts of silence I get extremely depressed.

me too - leave me alone for too long, and nothing good will come of it

 

[bluesavannah]

Def pot. I hate alchohol so much. It just makes me worse.
Now Pot, I've gotten to the point where I have to take a one hitter just to get out the door. It really calms me down without the side effects I get from taking anti anxiety meds such as drowsiness or loopiness.

 

[BlackPuma]

I totally get what you're saying when you mention cravings.

It might sound odd, but I have the same thing with TV shows and games (with a good storyline, mind you) that I like. When I have no money for a new exciting game, I get this sickening feeling in my stomach. When a show ends, or even worse, when it's canceled prematurely, I get very upset.

Needless to say I've been a bit more on edge ever since my Xbox 360 died.. seeing as that thing allowed me to download new awesome demo's at least. :/

I also have a strong need to keep things neat and organized in my room. It's meditative in a way.. When things are too cluttered I freak out. I also need to keep myself busy artistically. For some reason I get frustrated when I don't.


Neither of these are directly harmful I guess.. For the most part I take good enough care of myself. :3

 

[lunaticbinge]

I would talk about my favorite reliance but apparently i'm the only one that can't talk about it without a mod giving me an infraction or banning me. Typical.

 

[benno]

My work, although I really hate it (the company,the people and the work I do itself), gives me some kind of constancy and normality. Spending too much time at home just drives me into deep depressions. Thats why I'm also very afraid of loosing my job.

Also Music, especially in social situations. Shuts the real world around me out and also preventing random people from talking to me.

And gaming, sometimes I just need to completely escape from my life.

I see them as helpful, but that's very questionable.

 

[sanitariumcalls]

true. Most if not all of the weed in my area is unpleasantly strong, the kind that easily triggers schizophrenia or panic attacks. Ick

Ah... yeah, been there... we get some of that stuff down here on occasion... thus why I reduced down to a bowl or two here and there.

 

[vj288]

Something I need to get by on a day to day basis is talking to people I am comfortable with. If I have prolonged bouts of silence I get extremely depressed.

Yeah, I think talking to people helps me out to. I honestly think it's possible I'm an extrovrt with SA. (my Myer-Briggs results are skewed from SA too). It's not that I dislike talking, I very much like it, but something is always holding me back. I mean, not a super loud obnoxious guy, but my close friends would always say I talk all the time, but to most people not so much (or at all:

 

[fitftw]

internet, PS3, Spike Max (incense that I smoke), the gym, and usually candy.

 

[fife_girl]

similar things for me, music, alcohol, movies (huge dvd collection i have now lol) ps3, alcohol, cooking proper meals and (like blackpuma) if my room is cluttered it really depreses me...its always neat and clean.
chatting on here n keeping my mind busy...texting too!!

i think i drink way too much but at the same time it kinda helps, i just try not worry about it *sigh*

 

[arsenalwa]

Music mainly. Then there's football on weekends and midweeks. Reading; usually at night before sleep. And then all the other stuff we do on the computer, you know.

 

[sanitariumcalls]

Don't ever drink red wine when you feel depressed! Makes it so much worse...

 

[Luna1740]

Bob Dylan, Cigarettes, coffee, Bright Eyes, seeing my baby niece smile, day dreaming a lot