Relationship lasted 3 weeks feeling depressed.

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Squishy

Active member
Not sure if I'm posting this in the right place, so sorry if it's not.

So because of SA and other issues I'd never really been in any relationships until just now, I'm 20. But I met this guy and everything seemed to be going fine, I know he had some issues but I said I was fine with that. But today he phoned me up and said that he realises he can't be in a committed relationship right now, and he wishes we had met a year later, he hasn't been out of his last relationship that long and he hasn't gotten over her properly basically and some other issues he has. I understand this, but it's left me feeling like a complete idiot as I'd already told my family and friends about him, now I just feel too ashamed to tell them we have broke up already. And now I just feel like I'm not meant to be with anyone and I'll be single forever. Yeah it's probably stupid but I'd been single for so long, it made me feel like something in my life was finally going right for a change, and now I'm back to square one again.
I'm also starting Uni for the 2nd time in a couple of weeks, I lasted 2 weeks the first time >.<, I was feeling all positive and now I just feel like I won't fit in and will just be the loser.
Any one have any advice on break up etc for me, and how to feel positive about my situation?
 
MaliceInWickedland

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
I've had my share of bad experiences in relationships, experiences much worse than this. I know it hurts but hey, it happens. I have never once heard of a perfect relationship. 3 weeks is actually pretty good. The longest I've ever lasted in a relationship was almost a month, with the shortest being 5 days.

In any case, don't lose hope. Like I said, things like this happen all the time and it shouldn't make you lose hope. If anything this experience has prepared you for future relationships that you will experience. Yes these kinds of experiences are not fun and really leave you aching, but they teach you things about people and how they are and it's always good to be aware of people's intentions. It's actually better that he told you that he still has feelings for this girl. It would have been a lot worse if he hadn't told you anything and went behind your back to date her again. I've had that happen to me before and believe me, being cheated on is the most painful thing that can happen in a relationship.

I'm not that great at giving out advice, but mark my words: you will meet plenty of other guys. There's someone out there for everyone. It may take a while, even years, but believe me there is someone out there for everyone. Don't ever lose hope and don't ever let one relationship with someone shatter those hopes.
 
maiato

maiato

Banned
Hello Squishy! Try to see this experience for the bright side. Try to see them all. Seems easy to say. And it is...but is also truth! U said till now u had no experience of relationships at all...and now u had. Did u prefer to didnt have at all? Go back 1month ago....probably u would have this experience, this opportunity...going good or bad. About your parents, well i always think that the truth is the best solution. Is no big issue that a person as some old relation problems to resolve. And your parents have lived so much that will find that natural. Is just not natural if u feel bad about it.

And try to see the UNI as a good thing 2. U are gonna try to give a 2nd step, and that needs some brave! There it will happen lots of opportunities. New experiences and friends.

Just hope u enjoy them all. And think things are "never a defeat, always a lesson".

Wish u all the luck : )
 
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Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
You had a new experience, even if it turned bad, it's still a step forward in life.

I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but the best thing to do is just to try to enjoy things for what they are and for how long they last. SA deprives us of too many experiences in life, both joyful and sad, therefore I see every new experience as a small victory.
 
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Squishy

Active member
Thanks for the advice guys, I'll try and see this as a positive experience. I know it's good he told me the truth, and he said he wants to stay friends but I'll see about that...:\
 
AsTimeBurns

AsTimeBurns

Well-known member
It's a step in the right direction. If one person can fall for you, even if it doesn't work out, why can't another?
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
Just think of this way, there'll be lots of nice college guys I would struggle meeting them all if I was paired up, it can be such a burden.:)
 
drganon

drganon

Well-known member
3 weeks is longer than any relationship I've ever had. Granted that I've never actually been in a relationship, so someone could be in a relationship for a nano-second and still outdo me.
 
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