peacegrrl
Active member
- When did you discover Social Anxiety and that you suffered from it?
- If you had found out later, or earlier, than you did, do you think your desire to overcome it (assuming that is your desire) would be stronger/weaker than it is now?
I've wished desperately that someone had told me about social anxiety 10 years ago, or even 5. It would've changed so many things. I'd've known that I'm not crazy or retarded - or alone in the world. I wouldn't have punished myself as I have and maybe I'd be a good way along the road to recovery by now. By now I could speak back and defend myself and others, without dreading the consequences. I could have more fight in me, more motivation to better my own situation. I could have prevented, or seen differently, the shame and embarrassment of countless social "stuff-ups" and prioritised the happier moments of childhood. Knowing earlier would have been a huge advantage to me.
Or wouldn't it?... As a naive kid back then, I could easily have surrendered to SA and lost any will to fight it whatsoever. It would be "just another thing to worry about, next to study/family/acne/etc." Just another part of life, instead of something I could actively choose to resist. It's scary to imagine falling into a glum life of submission to my own mind, devoid of hope - the way things are now, having a bit more perspective, I'll die before I give up on trying to improve my situation.
I got to thinking this because, while it helps no-one to ruminate over a history they can't change, I was wondering that if more was done to raise awareness of social anxiety, giving young people more opportunity and support, then maybe more people would be able to envision positive outcomes and strive towards them, and would suffer less...
Thankyou in advance to anyone who has actually read this mess of thoughts and bad writing... Here are some imaginary brownies for you *gives*