Question about going out

[zen_mistress]

Question: Is it better to go out and do stuff with people and feel absolutely horrible and stressed and relieved when you get to go home?

Or is it better to stay home where at least you feel safe and dont have to deal with all that stress?

 

[zen_mistress]

I am asking because I am trying to make some decisions about things.

I recently did a short course and while i enjoyed the actual learning, I felt so awful when I was there that I was glad when the course finished.

I am thinking of trying to do more things but I find it hard to feel enthusiastic when I know that there is a high probability that I will just feel bad.

 

[kihira]

I think it's better to get out and about doing stuff BUT it's so important to have some therapy or do some reading or whatever to have an understanding of why you are feeling uncomfortable and to challenge that with different ways of thinking about it all.

Its also good to feel ok with deciding not to face now and then

 

[OceanMist]

Question: Is it better to go out and do stuff with people and feel absolutely horrible and stressed and relieved when you get to go home?

Or is it better to stay home where at least you feel safe and dont have to deal with all that stress?

I see it this way. It depends on how much you go out.

If you never go out, then it's best to go out. But if you normally go out, a night off could help you recharge.

You don't want to end up like me. I never go out (as in night life, bars clubs, etc) anymore, and look at me.

 

[zen_mistress]

Thanks for both of your advices.

yes, I have multiple issues which make me seem odd and I am usually by myself when I go anywhere so I have to deal with all these people who are in groups or couples and who are "normal" and have no issues. So it is very hard, people just are not friendly, and sometimes even mean to people who are notably different.

I do go out, but to limited places.

 

[zen_mistress]

I see it this way. It depends on how much you go out.

If you never go out, then it's best to go out. But if you normally go out, a night off could help you recharge.

You don't want to end up like me. I never go out (as in night life, bars clubs, etc) anymore, and look at me.

I dont tend to go anywhere at night, though I have found some things to be ok such as cafes or going to the store or going to the mall, I still have to deal with all the people though so it is not easy.

Sometimes I go to the movies if there is a slot where I know the cinema is deserted and I know there will only be 2 or 3 other people there in the room with me.

 

[BleedTheFreak]

The hardest part for me is getting out of the front door. Most of the time when I get home I'm happy that I was able to get out and that it was worth the stress beforehand.

 

[jc972]

I think it's good to try. When it gets to a point, head for home taking comfort in the fact that you made an attempt?

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I think the important is to not stop yourself from doing what you want to do because of the anxiety.

Example:

You were stressed about going to your short course, but now you're happy you did it, so it was a good thing to do it.

If you don't like going in nightclubs, it's useless to force yourself to go when you know you won't enjoy it at all, you probably won't get anything out of it. There is more relevant ways to expose yourself.

 

[Steelsoul]

I think you should try out new things outside instead of staying in your house. If you enjoy it, your decision is right. If you don't, don't feel bad, just think you have sucessfully made an attempt of meeting other people, which some of us can not do. It will help build up your confidence. But don't push yourself too hard. When you're tired of the outside world, stay at home and relax.

 

[Littlewilly]

I know what you mean. I've just this weekend been to a double birthday celebration of some old childhood/family friends, I say friends my sister & me are almost part of there family & although it was very enjoyable I still felt abit uncomfortable at times because the family & there children are now married or have girlfriends/boyfriends & my sister who's older than me is married & I'm still single at 52 & shy with GAD etc i'm glad I went but I'm sure I was relieved when we eventually left. Don't get me wrong there absolutely wonderful people as I said before we'er almost like family,known for 50 odd years.:shyness:

 

[neardeath]

The hardest part for me is getting out of the front door. Most of the time when I get home I'm happy that I was able to get out and that it was worth the stress beforehand.

Ditto on this one. This is my constant struggle. Going Anywhere. When I do something "good" I write it in a little journal so I can remember that I have actually been doing some fun things on earth.

And yes, Zen-M, it is all a terrible amount of stress, but to not do it would mean live is indeed over. I live on that edge all the time, hence my user name.