EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Ok here it goes.
First of all, refer to my signature.
I'm sick of the life I have given myself. I can't live life in this fishbowl anymore. I feel like the life I am currently living is as far as I want my rock bottom to go. So here's what I'm going to do, simply pretend to be the person I so badly wish I could be. I'm just going to live life as if i'm at my optimal everything, even in the small ways, because I have to pretend to love myself i'm going to take care of myself, because that's what I would do if I was 'older Sabrina'. This is going to take a lot of willpower that I'm only going to pretend to have, lol. I've discovered I'm only afraid of my own mind, but it is too easily influenced by others, thus this pretend thing..should mold me into a person I can love if I stick it out long enough.
I'm going to document my days, each day, because putting it out there and having other people expect something of me is the only way I can do something and stick to it. I'll start by documenting a day in the life I live at the moment.... ick. This is for means of CONTRAST! lol.
Wake up around 10, but try and sleep until around 1 in the afternoon even if i'm not tired. I usually go straight to the computer, to this site or just listen to music and skim other boards. Sometimes I play xbox 360 games, but usually I don't like to (I'm not a solo-gaming person, more a mmorpgs type person..anyways). I don't usually even take showers until I feel like it, which is around every 2-3 days. Yum. I pretty much flip from watching TV to using the computer all day, occasionally cleaning the house. I don't have meals, but simply eat whenever i'm bored, sometimes I overeat when i'm lonely. In the evening I play guitar, but I have neglected writing for awhile. During the evening I smoke pot until I fall asleep. I don't go to school, but am brought homework which I have no way of knowing how to do and thus don't do any of it. I consider myself now moderately depressed and constantly cold out of a deep longing for human interaction. This life SUCKS.
We all know now how pathetic my life is... and I for one understand that these types of decisions, such as changing one's life, have to be followed through with IMMEDIATELY or it becomes procrastination... I just took a freezing ass cold shower just to prove to myself that I would do things I really don't want to do. So starting right now i'm starting this experiment. Tomorrow is going to look a lot different.
First of all, refer to my signature.
I'm sick of the life I have given myself. I can't live life in this fishbowl anymore. I feel like the life I am currently living is as far as I want my rock bottom to go. So here's what I'm going to do, simply pretend to be the person I so badly wish I could be. I'm just going to live life as if i'm at my optimal everything, even in the small ways, because I have to pretend to love myself i'm going to take care of myself, because that's what I would do if I was 'older Sabrina'. This is going to take a lot of willpower that I'm only going to pretend to have, lol. I've discovered I'm only afraid of my own mind, but it is too easily influenced by others, thus this pretend thing..should mold me into a person I can love if I stick it out long enough.
I'm going to document my days, each day, because putting it out there and having other people expect something of me is the only way I can do something and stick to it. I'll start by documenting a day in the life I live at the moment.... ick. This is for means of CONTRAST! lol.
Wake up around 10, but try and sleep until around 1 in the afternoon even if i'm not tired. I usually go straight to the computer, to this site or just listen to music and skim other boards. Sometimes I play xbox 360 games, but usually I don't like to (I'm not a solo-gaming person, more a mmorpgs type person..anyways). I don't usually even take showers until I feel like it, which is around every 2-3 days. Yum. I pretty much flip from watching TV to using the computer all day, occasionally cleaning the house. I don't have meals, but simply eat whenever i'm bored, sometimes I overeat when i'm lonely. In the evening I play guitar, but I have neglected writing for awhile. During the evening I smoke pot until I fall asleep. I don't go to school, but am brought homework which I have no way of knowing how to do and thus don't do any of it. I consider myself now moderately depressed and constantly cold out of a deep longing for human interaction. This life SUCKS.
We all know now how pathetic my life is... and I for one understand that these types of decisions, such as changing one's life, have to be followed through with IMMEDIATELY or it becomes procrastination... I just took a freezing ass cold shower just to prove to myself that I would do things I really don't want to do. So starting right now i'm starting this experiment. Tomorrow is going to look a lot different.
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