Preferring Movies/TV/Internet over Real Life

[Rawz]

Does anyone else find themselves preferring movies, TV shows, video games, etc, over real life/a real social life?

I've lived a very sheltered life for most of my life. During my childhood I was homeschooled, had very few friends, and usually didn't go anywhere except for a few days a week (shopping usually). I lived out in the country, without any neighbor kids to play with, 12 miles from the nearest town. Video games, TV shows, movies, and the internet were a big part of my life and my main entertainment/fun/hobby. They made things less boring and could make me feel like I was hanging out with people or had friends, etc. They could keep my from being bored or feeling lonely.

I don't think I could live without them. And sometimes I feel like I prefer these over actual human interaction or really living. Sometimes I don't even want to try to improve myself or do anything productive, or leave the house and socialize with anyone. Instead I would rather play a video game, or watch a movie or TV show or watch Youtube videos or listen to music and post on forums.

I guess a part of it is how uncomfortable I am in social situations and how poorly I usually do at interacting. How much I hold back and how afraid and uncomfortable I am with being myself/sharing myself with others.

Anyone else feel the same or similar?

 

[savagewisdom]

I didn't grow up quite as sheltered but I started using the internet as a means to emotionally cope at 12. I still had a best friend at that time but as we grew older, we eventually grew apart. I still consider her a dear friend but she has a family of her own now and lives a few miles away.
I do enjoy human interaction, but I fare better than a lot of people when it comes to living a predominately solitary existence. I'm pretty addicted to the internet so after a while of being away from it I start having bad cravings. It's a bit sad. Sometimes I do find that I favor the internet/shows over extended interactions. But still, I do enjoy having some face to face interactions here and there. I start to feel very unwell after a couple of weeks alone.
I'm pretty self-conscious and find small talk painful. It's a chore. I don't enjoy enduring pointless social graces. A problem is that too many people are uncomfortable with silence.
I wish there wasn't so much expectance on constantly talking, filling in the gaps merely for the sake of filling gaps. I wish authentic expression was more revered. But also, I do wish I felt less self-critical and self-conscious because I often hold back.
It's hard. Being so conscious about your socialization is like being conscious aware of your blinking. Some things are best down without such focus. Haha.
This is really rambling. My brain's a scattered place.

 

[nicole1]

You're speaking my language... I do most times and I feel ashamed. I learned most of my social skills from tv, which landed me in more trouble than it helped really... I love the interactions, the outcomes, the action, the events... I felt more emotional about Sue Heck's prom than I did my own. I can get swept away in these false realities but not feel all that strong about facing my own... Like I said, I do feel shamed from time to time, but...yea.

 

[Rawz]

I love the interactions, the outcomes, the action, the events... I felt more emotional about Sue Heck's prom than I did my own. I can get swept away in these false realities but not feel all that strong about facing my own...

Yeah, exactly. There's just...something about it. I can't really explain it.

 

[savagewisdom]

You're speaking my language... I do most times and I feel ashamed. I learned most of my social skills from tv, which landed me in more trouble than it helped really... I love the interactions, the outcomes, the action, the events... I felt more emotional about Sue Heck's prom than I did my own. I can get swept away in these false realities but not feel all that strong about facing my own... Like I said, I do feel shamed from time to time, but...yea.

I think it's the way movies/television shows are structured. They're made with the intent of capturing interest and pathos. They are romanticized. The background music is also there to facilitate emotional responses.

 

[dragons]

I wouldn't say I "prefer" fiction over real life, but I do think I need a balance of both to keep me sane. I enjoy reading, writing, watching TV/movies and talking with people on the Internet a lot. But it doesn't replace face-to-face interactions for me; I still feel like I need to talk to other people in real life every day, or I start to feel depressed. But when I say I need to talk to other people every day, I mean that I just need to talk with some friends/family––I'm not a big fan of going to parties or other social gatherings where I don't know many other people.

 

[Odo]

It's definitely a lot easier and less demanding to interact with people online, but it isn't better and I don't think it makes anyone who does it happier.

 

[Opaline]

It's definitely a lot easier and less demanding to interact with people online, but it isn't better and I don't think it makes anyone who does it happier.

This.

(Can I just say, Odo, that I agree with so many of your posts that it's kind of freaky. haha)

Anyway - I have felt like that sometimes too. It's safer and therefore more comfortable but doing it too often keeps you stuck, isn't really productive, and in some cases can actually cause you to regress if you've made any progress (I've experienced this before). As tempting as it is to sit in front of a screen, I think it's important to force yourself to do it less often and get more social interaction. It's painful, but if it becomes too much you can give yourself breaks - you don't have to torture yourself. But spending your life in the digital world is ultimately going to harm you.

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

I definitely prefer movies/TV/internet/music/games/reading over real life and often fantasize with the idea of being well-off and therefore able to spend all my day at home entertained with these faithful, infinite hobbies, rather than having to care about work, social life or making someone of myself.

(Not the most mature of all ways of thinking, I know.) mg:

 

[Xervello]

I both agree and disagree with what Oda and Op said. There's a lot of truth to it. But for me, I used to spend a lot of time alone as a kid back when my SA wasn't so bad. So I think some people just have solitary personalities more comfortable alone. Preferring peace of mind over companionship kinda thing. Plus, I like to write, so I'm drawn to the 'net moreso for that reason. Though I agree for most, and even myself in some ways, it doesn't make us any happier and it can be regressive.

@Raws: I grew up much the same way. In the country, my "school" friends living in a different city. Video games and television were all I had. I still live in the country. And I don't go out, literally, but two or three times a year into town. Though the 'net and television are escapist crutches, they're AWESOME ones, ha ha. I loves muh teevs!