Poll: Would you date an SP?

[JoeRandomUser]

I'm curious if you would consider a relationship with a fellow SP or not. What do you all think?

I'd have to say 'No'.

While I think it'd be great to be with someone else like me, someone who understands how I feel, I think communication would tend to be difficult between two SP's. I'm not a good communicator to begin with; I'll open up and talk about my feelings if somebody asks, but I'll never initiate the conversation. I need to be with somebody who is a little better opening up and discussing problems; I need somebody to get the ball rolling. I reckon if I were to get into a relationship with someone like myself, we would slowly get on each others nerves, refuse to talk about or discuss it, and end up silently resenting each other. The one day BOOM! Everything comes out in one huge blow-up.

Of course, not all SPs are the same (you're not all like me, thank god :lol so maybe it could work. But I think that it'd be tough, at least for people with SP similar to my own.

 

[Scottish_Player]

I voted YES

As much as i agree with your opinion Joe i also think that to date someone who dosent have SP could mean trouble as they wouldnt realy understand how we think. For example if i was to date some one without SP i think it wouldnt work out as i never go out to the shopping centre i never go to parties or pubs and never socialize,where as a "normal" person does all these things so they would soon become bored and annoyed with me as the dont realy understand it. :roll:

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i would but with caution. i think some of the same compatibility with any other person would ahve to be there. as in i like outgoing people and if i was with someone with SP, they wouldn't necessarily have to be the life of the party but willing to give life a shot ya know? but everyone varies so much but i'd give em a shot

 

[Scottish_Player]

Just been thinking about this and to date someone without SP could also have its advantages if the person was understanding and open minded.In my case it could help if i had someone to go into situations with me where i would normaly feel uncomfortable,like if i went to a party i fear that i would be left standing alone looking like a right d**k but if i had someone with me that understood this then it would help.

 

[Remus]

if you fall in love you fall in love, I dont beleive you can rationalise your way out of it

 

[Sebastian]

The simple answer is no, since both would have more or less the same defaults, therefore there wouldn't be really a completion, something necessary in a relationship. I believe that sociophobics can become very good friends and, in extremis, also partners. But this last outcome is more difficult, it would require special people who are motivated to make things work and to make progresses together.

 

[Toad]

I would.

It would be nice to have someone who understood and was experiencing the same thing you were. I'm pretty sure I would be able to be open to someone who was experiencing the same thing, since they would understand. I also think it would be nice to have someone to do all the simple things with that are hard for me, such as going to stores to get stuff. It's something that has to be done, and if I were with someone with SP, they probably would be more comfortable doing stuff together rather than having one of us go out and do the stuff...if this makes sense...i think this is kinda what you were saying Scottish_Player. Although the chances of two SP people meeting are next to none, since neither of us would be able to talk to the other initially, because we would both be to scared to do that.

 

[beautiful_soul]

I would!

He could be shy or SP cause I want someone that understand me.Then he would understand if I don't want to go out with him and his friends

 

[GettingThere]

I have done so. It worked pretty well for me.

I find that I face life much better when I am with anyone and its better still with another sufferer because you have so much in common and you don't feel so "different". You both instinctively know that its cool to give your partner so room to move if they seem a little distant from time to time.

 

[kattness]

having someone who would completly understand and stand with you in a dark corner sounds very nice
my boyfriend at the moment is normal, we are pretty different in our aspects of life and shyness,hes pretty social and its scary as sad as that sounds.

 

[JoeRandomUser]

Some very well thought out opinions, guys. Keep 'em coming. 8)

 

[Meatwad]

My boyfriend is very outgoing, confident and social, like the complete opposite of me. He is very understanding of me, and thats why it is not a huge problem. The social person has to have some understanding and not just criticize you. Although, it also worries me because I don't want to hold him back from being who he is. Sometimes I think that he might be better off without me, and with someone who enjoys social get togethers and isn't scared and worried all the time. We do run in to problems sometimes that are caused because of my social phobia and thats hard. But I don't think I'd want to be with someone who is as bad as me. It would probably be more boring and they wouldn't help me grow.

 

[firelily]

I would go out with a SP. Maybe then I wouldn't stress about that person thinking I'm a wierdo. But because I hate being the centre of attention so much, I often try and shift the attention to the person I'm with (e.g. get them talking about themselves) so I'd have to learn not to do that with an SP. It would be different, maybe even helpful to my SP to do that.

 

[Hellraising]

Of course. That'll be common ground for us.

 

[tupac]

i'd defenitly do it. although i think it would have to be a slow progression in getting to know each other. but ya i'd wanna date someone with SA rather than someone without it. i'd be more comfortable and having someone to talk to about SA would be great, maybe even help each other get over SA.

 

[Fredscars]

i couldnt. I need the constant push, the want for them to go and meet their mates, to go out at night. Theyd have to understand, or at least accet that i couldnt do certain things but id need their confidence. When im around sad people, or people who have problems like SA i find mysekf sinking deeper into it.
...this forum probably aint the best for me, but hey

 

[StreetWorm]

I voted yes. I usually feel comfortable when I'm around someone who I know is the same type of person I am. I think the biggest problem though would be that constant suspicion that the other person really doesn't feel the same way about you. It seems like I get that every time there's a lapse in communication. It's hard to tell the difference between lack of interest and just a quiet moment.

 

[ColdFury]

Yes

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

Definitely. I would love to find somebody with social phobia to date, actually. At least maybe they would understand me. Nobody else does, and everyone else loses interest within a month or 2.

 

[Yossarian]

It depends. SP isn't the be all and end all of a person. Plus SP can affect people differently and in varying degrees. I think to make the assumption that because someone has SP they would make a bad partner is kind of a mistake. It's how it affects them is the important thing.