Phone Conversations

[jryden]

Will be the death of me. That and eye contact

I can't even talk to people I know without being nervous. I have family in another country and I just called them and OMG, my heart beats fast, I was shaking. They're family!!! Why can't I be normal.

Its worse with strangers. I might not sound nervous on the phone but I am dying for the conversation to end.

Eye contact...don't even get me started!! Why do people want to stare at each other for so long. It doesn't mean that I don't look at them completely but I can't look at someone for more than 3-4 secs at a time.

::

 

[Sacrament]

Just relax and tell yourself it's not a big deal, because it's not. Observe (without judging) how silly it is to be so nervous with phone calls, and notice how there's literally nothing to get all anxious about. Take away its power, and you'll feel more and more relaxed.

 

[Bo592]

I been thinking alot about how I have to get on the phone to make appointment so I can go back to school and I also have to make a call to a Cab driver so I would have a drive to there also . It make me kind of nervous because I don`t real know what I am getting myself into. I feel a little shaky because I don`t have time to think alot but it still better than face to face talking.

 

[chibiXphantom]

i hate talking on the phone. it causes wayy too much anxiety for me. i never call anyone unless i absolutely have to, and then i just sit there, holding the phone for 3 hours, trying to write myself a "cheat sheet' of things to say (basically writing scripts for each way i think the conversation could possibly go). other wise id freeze up completely

 

[BlueDays]

......trying to write myself a "cheat sheet' of things to say (basically writing scripts for each way i think the conversation could possibly go). other wise id freeze up completely

^I think this is essential for anyone who has trouble talking on the phone. It's a method that has certainly helped me for years.

Also, this might or might not work for you jryden, I have a separate blank piece of paper that I can draw doodles on while talking on the phone.
I find that the drawing of the very simple doodles takes my mind of thinking that I am going to stumble on a word or jumble my words up.

 

[coyote]

Also, this might or might not work for you jryden, I have a separate blank piece of paper that I can draw doodles on while talking on the phone.
I find that the drawing of the very simple doodles takes my mind of thinking that I am going to stumble on a word or jumble my words up.

i do this, too

i also do it in meetings with people who make me anxious, like my boss

 

[Invisibleman]

For some reason I find talking with my hands like a pissed off Italian helps.Because obviously they cant see::

 

[jryden]

For some reason I find talking with my hands like a pissed off Italian helps.Because obviously they cant see::

OMG I'm going to start doing this even in person. Ok no but that would be funny.

 

[Jemo]

Also, this might or might not work for you jryden, I have a separate blank piece of paper that I can draw doodles on while talking on the phone.
I find that the drawing of the very simple doodles takes my mind of thinking that I am going to stumble on a word or jumble my words up.

Maybe I should try this. I hate talking on the phone and dread having to make calls. I always try to send an email instead if I can get away with it.

 

[vitalis]

Phone conversations are also hard for me, but ironically not eye-contact, I feel much confidence when my interlocutor is right in front of me.

Anyway, working as an office person and so having to take the phone many times a day, the only thing that made me diminish my fear of the phone is when I began to have a better use of word use and variety, after having worked closely with a sales person. A small trick I've found out is to use frequent but small pauses while you're talking, so you can wait a second to think about the next words and end up making long sentences. This is specially useful because we may tend to suffer because we get nervous and we feel we have nothing to say, so we start talking and then we start fading and the that failure to communicate puts us even more pressure and the process repeats and reinforces again.
But when I do this small trick while I'm in a phone conversation and start receiving positive feedback from the other part, it's much easier to keep talking to the phone with more or less ease.

 

[vitalis]

Also, this might or might not work for you jryden, I have a separate blank piece of paper that I can draw doodles on while talking on the phone.
I find that the drawing of the very simple doodles takes my mind of thinking that I am going to stumble on a word or jumble my words up.

Oh, this is also very helpful, indeed!

 

[Meggy0001]

Phone calls are easier for me than face to face, they are still really hard but easier, I think it's becuase I can't see the person and they can't see me, it makes me feel better and the reason I hate face to face converstaion is becuase I cannot do eye contact at all, I am always looking aroud and one time someone thought I was rolling my eyes at them :/

 

[Hellhound]

For some reason I find talking with my hands like a pissed off Italian helps.Because obviously they cant see::

Lol, God... I do this all the time, anytime.

 

[Hellhound]

Ok, this is probably bad advice, but have you tried doodling or just staring at random places while you're talking on the phone? I used to do that to make me less focused on the call itself.

I don't get so panicky now a days. I could kind of overcome that fear for the most part by just making calls. I don't know how, but it worked. But I still have a lot of trouble getting to make doctor appointments and such, I can't stand those.

 

[FlashGit]

I know how you feel, i have a horrible stutter so talking on the phone (or really any verbal communication) causes so much anxeity for me. Eye contact is bad too. I find that the so called italian hand gestures do work.

 

[JuiceB]

I know how you feel, i have a horrible stutter so talking on the phone (or really any verbal communication) causes so much anxeity for me. Eye contact is bad too. I find that the so called italian hand gestures do work.

I also have this. When speaking face to face my anxieties are spread out but when I'm on the phone its all concentrated on speech.

 

[TailsAlone]

I hate talking on the phone. With my grandparents it's okay, because they understand what a phone conversation should be: a short exchange of vital information. With my mother I'm quiet and mumbly. She keeps me on the line even though she rarely has much to say. With anyone else I'm overly polite and stiff.