People on the outside don't understand

[theslowesthand]

Wow....unconfident loser. That's what type of man this world needs. You're supposed to be a man. Suck it up and stop bitching. Here's what I want you to do. Get buff and kick someones *** and you will get any girl you want because that's just how it works

Wow....macho-a**hole loser!

I think he was talking "thru his an*s" as those types almost always do. That "advice" is dumber-than-dumb, worse than useless or nothing at all, esp the last part

 

[Falkor]

Gah, I really want to respond to this, but it would go against my sig, and I put it there for a reason so I'm just going to smile and wave.

Haha I looked at your Ava and it would be funny if the kitten would smile and wave.. LOL::

And I know what you mean hehe. At least the most of SPW see this case as normal. We'd rather change it ofc, it's not our intention, but it's the fear that's overly taking over, but at least we have got the Support of SPW. I don't see why it's a weird society we might seem very depressed but the same would go with a fora about other illnesses we're all a victim of a disorder or suffering stuff, so I am not suprised. Although this might be a mental thing doesn't mean it's easier than having a physical disorder, but I'd have to agree that we're talking about a lot of negative stuff but we all have the advisor power to help others and also the listening and tips stuff and what GOOD happened today so why bother.maybe he should look for a Shy fora or something like that. I'd say it's just a forum like every forum is. There is even Fora that is much 'crazier'.

 

[Pookah]

Life is life, get out there, get a job and meet people. "Normal" people would not be on here, they would be out there doing what they have to do. I'm not mean, probably wrong for me to be on here, but I couldn't help with the curiosity.

How about you get a move on and get over your depression? Clearly its that easy right? Stop being sad. Be happy.

 

[theslowesthand]

Apart from being called a loser I think the comment where he said 'you're just what the world needs' has damaged me the most

Just yesterday i made some notes on my pda about how my dad sometimes hurts my feelings by way of "light-hearted" & maybe "semi-humourous" put-downs. This toe-rag was obviously being sarcastic, which is kind of a form of "light-humour". My point is that these types (incl my dad) are VERY different to shy/SA'er/etc types, they hurt us with things that THEY NEVER get hurt by (& maybe get angry/hurt by things which DON'T do so for US).

Basically the differences seem to be this:
Macho types: get angry/hurt by direct/honest/rational/genuine negatives (which is why they NEVER talk seriously about their problems, but evade it by eg immediately retorting with a "joking" insult back at you, & maybe change the topic, which serves to end such a conversation)
SA types: get angry/hurt by indirect/dishonest/irrational/exaggerated/joking negatives (we always "read between the lines", & there's sth about sby joking about our problems which is VERY hurtful (for us), perhaps we feel that they don't give a damn about our feelings, or that they're deliberately hurting us .. whatever the case, we end up feeling worthless, guilty, ashamed, etc - as they words are said in such an "open-ended" (general, labels) way that it leaves MUCH room for interpretating in MANY different ways, and associating it with MANY other "therefore i must be" negative assumptions.

On the other hand, if THEY were direct, straight-foward, & specific (instead of running away from confronting personal problems head-on, like scared little bunny rabbits) then WE wouldn't suffer all the endless "wheel-spinning" afterwards that we do.
Eg Instead of sby (in group) calling out 'hey dork features!!!', then all of them laughing, we would find it WAY less hurtful if they approached & said 'dude, you need to get some better clothes, these are dowdy-looking & don't suit you'. But people like them probably can't handle being genuine/honest/"nice"/etc, maybe as its "uncool" or "un-manly" to them? (esp if they are the macho/assh*le bad-boy-wanna-be types)

Not once in my life have I wanted to call somebody else a name or hurt anybody. So why am I singled out to be treated like the punching bag? Do people just jump on the bandwagon because I'm an easy target?

I suspect that may unfortunately be the sum of it. If they know you won't "fight back" then thats all they (bullies) are looking for. They dont give a damn if you're "nice", "peaceful", "innocent" or whatever (& these qualities might even be repulsive to them, as they are as a general rule, "sick", "warped" individuals). Sure, maybe they can see that you have some of these qualities (which probably deep-down they're jealous of), but they can also see other things what to them is "weakness", and so the animalistic (& egotistical) instincts of "attack the weak" take over

 

[Etbow23]

Wow what website was this?

Please tell me it wasn't on here...

This is like the internet "safe haven". Everywhere else I go it's a bunch of racists, sexists, and morons.

 

[lonely_drummer]

It sure is easy to hate on something you don't understand. Narrow minded people like that aren't worth the time and effort. You obviously realized how obsurd that response was, so who cares? Maybe he should stop trying to be so macho and "normal". Cuz if that's what normal is, I sure as hell don't wanna be it

 

[emre43]

May I ask why?

Yeah you can ask why but I've already answered it elsewhere in the thread. He seemed alright, we were chatting and joking, and he was asking me questions about myself so I stupidly let my guard down and told him (obviously not every little detail) about my life. It was stupid I know, I just wanted to be understood.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

"Normal" people would not be on here, they would be out there doing what they have to do.

Could you give me a definition of a "normal" person? I'm curious as to the standard I should comparing myself too. I'd always thought that every single person was different, each with their own hangups, problems, issues, good qualities and bad ones, but if there is an actual definition for a "normal" person then I'd like to know what it is, if only so I can measure my progress towards it.

 

[SilverSky]

I would much much rather be with a guy who was nice to me and thought things through before beating people up or w/e they said. Such ignorance.

And I'm sorry but if you don't think we're normal people, and you have things to do then gtfo this site and leave us alone.


It is true, you cannot possibly know how others think and feel unless you are them. I had this discussion last night with someone who told me I'm not "trying to be strong inside" How the F do you know what I am and am not trying to be inside? How could you know how many things I deal with silently? You can't.

 

[Illusions]

I just told a guy my life story online. That I am 22 years old, had a tough life, never had a girlfriend and got this response from him:

Wow....unconfident loser. That's what type of man this world needs. You're supposed to be a man. Suck it up and stop bitching. Here's what I want you to do. Get buff and kick someones *** and you will get any girl you want because that's just how it works.

First thing that came to my mind when I read his response: "I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass." Don't let what he said get to you.