One person

[jnnnncnnn1232]

Does anyone else absorb themselves in the actions and words and thoughts of one other person to the point where even their slightest motion of discontent towards you will drive you mad and make you depressed to the point where you can't do anything because you feel too inadequate to live? It's kinda the way I feel about my fiancee. If she isn't completely appeased with me in every way possible I kinda just shut down, which is why I'm posting this now (with the last bit of energy/motivation I have in me). If you have somebody like this in your life, who is it? What is their relation to you? How long have you been like this? Why do you think you become like this? Thank you for reading, I'm interested in reading some of the replies, in hopes of not only finding assistance in my own situation, but helping out others in theirs' as well.

 

[rosewood]

i think for people with SA if one has a girlfriend or boyfriend it is easy to become this way because it is probably the only person you come into constant contact. i have had that happen with the 2 main relationships in my life, mostly because there weren't/aren't other absorbing relationships to distract away from the anxiety or there isn't someone there to offer a more balanced viewpoint. that high resolution laser beam of attention can make things worse for me, i have noticed.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

There's this word. . .it's called "Love".

 

[Silatuyok]

I used to be like this in romantic relationships. You may want to do a little research on codependency. It's not healthy to be so completely absorbed in your partner. You need to learn how to be independent within your relationship, so that you can still function when your partner is upset with you.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/symptoms-of-codependency/

 

[jaim38]

This is going to sound corny: I used to be like this with a crush. I was obsessed with him for several years. I had a relationship with him, in my head. When he rejected me in real life, I cried hysterically for days.

 

[Kiwong]

Once about ten years ago, it was unhealthy.

 

[Lamb]

I tend to take on the habit of imprinting in relationships. Find myself having thought patterns, actions and ways of doing things similar to those of my mate. There's also a reluctance for confrontation, constant comparison, and a fear of rejection. If I'm causing him certain emotions I tend to grow fearful, nervous and guilty of the outcome.

I would guess the reasoning behind it is a mixture of things; feeling closest to these people and therefore a need to identify with them. Lack of self identity, and a very distant family/small social circle which causes me to latch on to expressions of intimacy.

 

[Unspoken]

I was like this when I only had a few important things in my life, so every little thing about those few things was a big deal. It had to be perfect. Especially when I was lacking in my own personal hobbies and beliefs, having the few people I had pleased with me at all times was of dire importance. I think for a lot of people it boils down to that if you have nothing that's innately, uniquely yours, other people might fill that void and their maintenance becomes what's important - but you can't expect a human being to be happy all the time.

Now I figure if things are going to sour for no reason at all, I'm not that much worse off without them. I don't feel obligated to work myself half to death or let someone push me around.