Old School Hermits....

[Nl54]

We've all heard the ancient stories. From the man that lives alone in the woods, to the spiritual leader who hates the majority rule of the time and prefers a smaller crowd (Jesus and Buddha, for example). Back in the day, there was no explanation for this behavior, other than being seen as strange, rebellious misfit. While social phobia is still seen as strange by the majority to an extent, at least there is various diagnosis for it now. It could stem from abuse, upbringing, social rejection at a young age, lack of self-esteem, etc. Or perhaps, it's just the way we are wired from the start. It doesn't necessarily mean that there is anything WRONG with us. Some people are more social than others, bottom line.

Thoughts?

 

[1BlackSheep]

It could stem from abuse, upbringing, social rejection at a young age, lack of self-esteem, etc. Or perhaps, it's just the way we are wired from the start.

I wonder about this as well. Is SA inheirited or is it something that develops from environmental factors. Or perhaps both?

My father has battled depression throughout his life, so I think with me it might be partially genetic. I've also experienced social rejection a lot in my life, so it's likely environmental as well.

 

[Porto]

I wonder about this as well. Is SA inheirited or is it something that develops from environmental factors. Or perhaps both?

My father has battled depression throughout his life, so I think with me it might be partially genetic. I've also experienced social rejection a lot in my life, so it's likely environmental as well.

idem idem

2 votes for environmental

 

[theslowesthand]

It could stem from abuse, upbringing, social rejection at a young age, lack of self-esteem, etc. Or perhaps, it's just the way we are wired from the start

I wonder about this as well. Is SA inheirited or is it something that develops from environmental factors. Or perhaps both?

My father has battled depression throughout his life, so I think with me it might be partially genetic. I've also experienced social rejection a lot in my life, so it's likely environmental as well

2 votes for environmental

All hermits are damaged in some way, so it's at least due to past experiences (growing up, abuse, social rejection), as that's where all damage is done. And most hermits i think would have started off with a "base set" of traits that caused them from an early age to "draw towards themselves" the bad experiences they needed in order to develop into the "healthy fully-fledged social-outcast" they are today!

ie At least environmental, and probably (usually) also genetic

 

[bsammy]

in my case its strange as im very introverted but i also have SA.i have been socially rejected a little in my life but ive also been widely accepted as well.i dont think my hermit ways have anything to do with how ive been treated by others.the biggest problem i have is 'feeling' a connection to others, feeling i belong in this world.ive never had that despite all social skills ive learned.all these years i thought that i would be much more outgoing and social if i could eliminate my social anxiety but i dont think thats true.even when i can obliterate my SA i still find im very much a hermit.so much of the time i see no need to be around others.is this because i feel no reward from it, is it because i cant feel connected like others do, is it because im depressed, or just lazy?who knows?

are there any happy hermits out there?fully functional hermits that dont feel broken in a ways?

 

[Clown]

extraverted here, all of a sudden so defenitly enviroment combination genetics

 

[Kiwong]

Well I am making the best of both worlds. A hermit most of the time, but entering into the world to enjoy independent adventures involving people. I think that a desire for solitude was wired into me from the start.

 

[OceanMist]

I think that's exactly what it means: is that there is something wrong with people like me at least. I know I may sound like a jerk there, but that's the conclusion I've come to after analyzing what social anxiety does to a person.

There is nothing good about social anxiety. It clouds your mind with worry that hurts your mind and often makes you feel like crap. It inhibits your ability to get the most important thing out of life besides food and shelter: personal relationships. It can stop one's ability to enjoy life.

I don't care if being a loner can help us get certain things done. Without successful personal relationships where we connect we others, we aren't satisfying ourselves. We are constantly hurting ourselves when our social anxiety controls us, whether we can recognize that or not.

I didn't even realize what was wrong with me until my 20s. After I realized what was wrong with me, I also realized how social anxiety has destroyed my life.

Being a true loner is not okay. A true loner has no friends. A true loner has no real personal relationships. That's so unhealthy it's not even funny.

I hope I'm not offending anyone because I'm everything I just talked about. I am that true loner.

 

[Graeme1988]

I think that's exactly what it means: is that there is something wrong with people like me at least. I know I may sound like a jerk there, but that's the conclusion I've come to after analyzing what social anxiety does to a person.

There is nothing good about social anxiety. It clouds your mind with worry that hurts your mind and often makes you feel like crap. It inhibits your ability to get the most important thing out of life besides food and shelter: personal relationships. It can stop one's ability to enjoy life.

I don't care if being a loner can help us get certain things done. Without successful personal relationships where we connect we others, we aren't satisfying ourselves. We are constantly hurting ourselves when our social anxiety controls us, whether we can recognize that or not.

I didn't even realize what was wrong with me until my 20s. After I realized what was wrong with me, I also realized how social anxiety has destroyed my life.

I wasn't offended. If anything, I actually agree with you.

Being a true loner is not okay. A true loner has no friends. A true loner has no real personal relationships. That's so unhealthy it's not even funny.

I hope I'm not offending anyone because I'm everything I just talked about. I am that true loner.

This last part regarding the "true loner" basically described me as well, to a degree. If you don't take into account the few family members I interact with on a daily basis.

 

[nafadda]

oh people ,people ,people......pleased do not get offended by what i am about to say,BUT please stop buying into ALL the "media" hype that we ALL must be the same..sometimes I just want to shake people (not in a bad way) .and tell them it's perfectly ok to be just them,as in who they are!

I am that recluse now..and it is by MY choice and I love it no matter how many people I know that tell me it's not how I should be...I am that 'wild feral woman' in the woods and now I can breath....and breath I do.

I think back to all the days when I had to be around people and had to look a certain way and had to dress a certain way and had to ,had to ,had to..all the while wishing I could just be what was inside me....that child of the woods that wanted back to the woods with the other ferals..

I mean I know I can communicate with people,I just like my life so much better now..now I actually like me...so if someone tells me how unhealthy it is being a "loner" it just makes me laugh,,in fact It generalizes WAY too much,,it's as if people can say what is best for ALL people..that is NOT the case.

I do not need nor take meds for anxiety, i just avoid that which makes me get uncomfortable. I have no need to explain myself and now I can say NO without thinking I have to give a reason as to why I am saying no I do not want to..simple as that(I do hope some of this will make some sense ,even if only to one person)...

so instead of pointing out what is so wrong with being a certain way,point out what is good about it ,and if you can't find any good in it,then change it..I mean it's YOUR life ,no one else can make the change for you..life is a matter of choices and sometimes the choice is up to you to just do it..if being alone or recluse makes you happy ,then work towards that,if wanting to be around people makes you happy,don't expect people to fall in through your roof..make yourself interesting enough to be around..you get what you put out there..if you consistently want to put gloom and doom out there,,,well thats about all your going to get back