Old friend wants to visit

[nopark]

I have an old friend from my hometown who wants to make the drive up to visit me. He used to be my best friend but since I've moved around a bit, I haven't seen him in about three years.

I've ignored his calls and messages up until now but he's finally gotten very persistent. So I have to say something one way or the other.

I know, as the completely normal person I am, that I should be glad to receive him. But the reality couldn't be more contrary. I feel like I should just suck it up and say "Sure! Come on down!" anyway.

I think the thing I'm most worried of is a reaction of pity (or maybe worse might be condescension). He's gone off and got a life. He's almost finished with school, he's got a girlfriend now, he's going on trips etc. I don't like the way my life contrasts with this so grievously.

So it's really a tossup. On one hand I'd like to see him. On the other hand I don't want him to see me.

 

[ali123]

i totally know what you mean, but i think you should see him. You will only feel like you messed up by not being able to see him. See him, and if things don't go well, at least you tried and you can ignore any calls etc from him for the rest of forever if you feel like it, but i think you shuold give it a go, or you will be kicking yourself for not giving it a go, if you see what i mean?

ETA - Also, I'm sure he wouldn't think any less of you for how you are now. I mean, if it was the other way around and he hadnt done all those things, what would you honestly think of him? i doubt its anywhere near as bad as you imagine he will think of you

 

[mads]

I would say that you should let him visit you.

Hope you will have a great day together

 

[Masychefx2]

i dont want to down this as i am the most socially awkward and nervous person ever

but an old freind who lived in my village came over last summer after not seeing each other in like 8 years and it was the most awkward thing i think has ever happened to me.

 

[mrb]

i say go meet your old mate , sounds like hes really keen to meet up with you , so he must like you as a freind lol , dont lose contact with your old freinds , you never know you might need a freind someday , same as he might need you

 

[phil91]

lol I just wrote a thread about pretty much the same thing. ::

 

[dooby-duck]

I did just this several years ago. It was awkward at first and pushed my usual boundaries a lot, but we ended up sat in a pub chatting for around eight hours. It wasn't half as bad as I made myself believe it would be. I've never seen him since though.

 

[Kat]

Yep, that’s the predicament that we are usually stuck in with this. I, think since he was a good friend to you in the past you may have to be a little generous and give it a chance for old times’ sake, it may not go as bad as you think but if it does. You won’t have to worry about this again.

 

[nopark]

Well I told him he could come. This weekend or next. I guess I'll update you guys after it's over

 

[Redskinsfan]

okay. good luck. you might want to tell your friend you have anxiety. It can help sometimes.

 

[nopark]

Just wanna say that it's goin pretty well. They came Friday afternoon. I'm pretty extremely durnk right now so I'll articualte somethin better tomorrow when they leave. But sofar I'm happy I agreed to this meetup. Thats not to say I dnt have any negative commets, but I'll wait til I can explain em a bit better.

 

[garry29]

I've had bad experiences visiting old friends which has resulted in neither of us keeping in touch. I think the fact that they contacted you and willing to go visit you is a good sign.

 

[Ravens]

That's good to hear Nopark, I lost friends slowly over time because of the rapidly different life I was leading.
Sounds like you got some good friends there, hold onto em

 

[nopark]

It was pretty fun. It was a little awkward at first--like meeting two strangers--but it quickly started to feel like old times. I was fearing some deep "what have you been up to" kind of conversations, but like typical men I suppose, our conversations were mostly humorous and meaningless. For instance, our heated debate about who was hotter, Cameron or Thirteen (from House), lasted a stupid amount of time lol

My other fear--that they'd display some kind of pity at my life--turned out to be senseless worry. No such thing happened. In fact, quite the contrary, they seemed to be impressed. They still live at home and they are finishing college, while I have my own place and run my own business. So I think I might've been a little hard on myself when judging my life from an outsiders perspective. I might have no social life, but I'm not completely worthless after all.

And last night was a total blast. I've never drank so much in my life (and I'm really paying for it today!). I've not had such a great time in a long long while. So it was totally worth it.

But damn I am exhausted and very glad to be alone once again. I was starting to feel a bit trapped having to host two guys for three days. Just having someone always there turned out to be really exhausting. Or even just having to talk for so long. I'll never be a people-person lol.