Office Xmas Party Time Again

[kiwi]

Yep it's that's time of year. What do people here generally do - go or not go?

 

[Richey]

Yeah! its almost that time again!! AAHHH!!

I normally do anything to get out of it.

But i had fun at the last one

 

[kiwi]

i've never been to one and I've been in full time work for about 5-6 years in total. I HATE that aspect of Christmas. Plus people tend to get a kick out of using you who doesn't go, as a foil for making everyone know that they go and are very social & fashionable. Plus some people tend to make it their mission to try and convince you to go, but I always doubt whether they are genuine. It gets worse each year you're at a place because you feel that if you were to go THIS year then the spotlight would be on you because you've not one before.

So I don't go, and if someone asks, I tend to just say "no I'm not going, I don't like that sort of thing" and try and end the conversation.

You sound pretty much exactly like me! I have been to one or two over the years, but they are the exception (they were something different rather than the usual boring dinner and drinking).

Yes people always try to convince me to go too and I hate it. If only they would just accept my 'no' and leave it at that. And to make it worse, usually it's a loud receptionist type person who goes around getting numbers and trying to say no to someone like that is not much fun! Then there's the week leading up to the party and constantly being asked whether you are going or not. Argh! I feel like putting a sign on my head saying 'no i am not going to the damn party!'.

However I figure I have to put up with that, or go to the damn thing and be bored and uncomfortable the whole night. I've been there before and I just can't stand it.

I don't know how other quiet people do it actually. There are a few other people in th office who are even quieter than me, yet they seem happy (or at least willing) to sit there the whole night barely saying a word (I've seen this from the few times I actually went). I just don't get it. That seems to be the difference between me and someone who is just shy - I can't tolerate being in a social situation and not being involved in the conversation. For me it's just the worst feeling and I'm willing to do almost anything to avoid it.

 

[Horatio]

free meal and free drink.. Im there! haha no I dont mind Christmas work parties cause most the people at my work are my parents age or older, I tend not to get as anxious around people twice my age

if I worked somewhere where there was a lot of people my own age then yeah, it would be hard to drag me along and Id probably sit at home kicking myself for being too much of a loser to not go - that can be a lose lose situation

 

[kiwi]

I normally do anything to get out of it.

Like what? Maybe we can trade excuses ;-)

 

[kiwi]

Of course, the next day, you get all the "you should have come...." comments. Yuck.

Yeah, though usually they make me thankful I didn't go. "You should've seen so & so dancing on the tables...", or "The karaoke was great fun, we sang all night...".

Yeah, right, wish I was there....

I don't actually regret not going to the parties - because I do know what I'm missing - it's the feeling of being the odd one out that gets me. If more people refused to go to these things then I wouldn't feel like such a loser for not going, but most people seem obliged to go. Luckily I'm not in a position where my career depends on showing my face at these things...

 

[kiwi]

free meal and free drink.. Im there! haha no I dont mind Christmas work parties cause most the people at my work are my parents age or older, I tend not to get as anxious around people twice my age

if I worked somewhere where there was a lot of people my own age then yeah, it would be hard to drag me along and Id probably sit at home kicking myself for being too much of a loser to not go - that can be a lose lose situation

For me it's not so much the age, it's how well I get along with them (and that tends to be with people of my own age).

But even when I'm with a bunch of people who I'm confortable with, it's the boredom factor that gets me. Even with people I really like, I find I can only last a couple of hours max. Then I find I just switch off for some reason and feel really drained. And it's at that point that I just hate being at the party and wish I didn't come.

Do you find a lot to talk about with your colleagues? And do you actually enjoy their company at these parties, or do you just tolerate them for the free food and drink? ;-)

 

[kiwi]

Fucking hell. Talk about tempting fate.

Just had the first "Christmas party" comments here where I work

The fun begins.......

Ah, I forgot you were in the UK. Oh well, when you start getting hassled for not attending, just think of me, I'll be going through the same pain on this side of the world...!

 

[young]

i've never invited to parties.

 

[Fighter86]

I have yet to have to attend a christmas party as I've not worked full time yet. But I have had the experience of having to go to the prom, which I guess is considered a sort of party as well. Well, I didn't want to go, but went anyway- its was not too bad in the end but I wouldn't do it again if I had to.

However, I like going to weddings(though I'm rarely invited to many). The food's usually good & because the people who r there r usually older than me, I feel ok, lesser anxiety & can function better.

 

[Richey]

If only they would just accept my 'no' and leave it at that. ........... Then there's the week leading up to the party and constantly being asked whether you are going or not. Argh! I feel like putting a sign on my head saying 'no i am not going to the damn party!'


Couldn't have put it better myself. Then it gets to a stage where I feel angry & resentful that there's even a party in the first place because it's causing this stress to happen!

Of course, the next day, you get all the "you should have come...." comments. Yuck.

The best thing to do is to be completely honest from the outset. If you dont want to go are you committing a hidious crime. Absolutely not. I always have people calling me up planning how we will be going, where we will be going afterwards. If i do end up going and i am not enjoying the night then i want to be able to leave at my own will. This is why i hate getting a lift to an event because you have no control over that.
In modern society you are judged harshly if you dont go out to "The Pub" every weekend. Now having some form of a social life is important just so you have someone to talk too.
I get my kicks out of playing guitar and reading!! And enjoying company of my close friends. I dont get my kicks out of being dragged along to something i dont want to go to. And i have been hasseled by workmates and even threatened and humiliated at work because of my choice not to turn up.

And its normally a large group of young people who work in Hospitality! I work in Hospitality! so its all good looking waiting staff! Cringes! S
o i usually find the night to be a daunting experiance. And because i am fit and always dress well everyone assumes that i must be some R&B junkie who wants to dance to god awful Nelly/P.Diddy music. I dont dance to anything. It has to be something decent like - NWA/Blondie/Stone Roses/Primal Scream. And they react terribly to it. On the plus side there is a never-ending supply of free Booze!! and a few people that i enjoy chatting to. But after chatting to a few people and enjoying a few drinks i just want to get out of there. I prefer seeing a Live band or Reading a book!
My parents have lately been saying to me that "I should be going to the pub! every weekend" "Thats what the kids are doing these days". I have no problem with that. However i dont particularly enjoy the pub scene. The music is normally terrible Bon Jovi style Tripe!! and it just comes across as who is the biggest EGO! in the entire place.

 

[Richey]

And i always get the phone call. "You Comin to the pub?".
I just prefer to go with the beat of my own drum. And people find that hard. I prefer being honest. I dont have the type of personality where i can always say yes to anything just because its the appeal of the broard demographic. I can be really up and down at a party! and sometimes i just have to bail. Its a problem for me. Just remember that if you do go to the Christmans party! that you can be yourself and you can make your own decisions. You can leave early if you want or stay all night if your enjoying the night.

 

[kiwi]

...and a few people that i enjoy chatting to. But after chatting to a few people and enjoying a few drinks i just want to get out of there. I prefer seeing a Live band or Reading a book! .....

I feel exactly the same way. That's why I don't mind team lunches/dinners so much because they tend to be fairly short, so I can usually last the distance (but not always). But with an all nighter like this there's really no hope - I would either have to leave early (which I hate doing as well!) or stay until other people start leaving which means an utterly boring night.

On the odd occasions when they've had activity-based events (e.g. day at the beach) then I've enjoyed them because it's not just the usual dinner/drinking/dancing type of night.

I also don't like the fact that partners come to these things. I mean, I don't know these people, why would I want to spend a night talking to them? I dunno, maybe if I had a partner I would feel differently....

 

[kiwi]

And i always get the phone call. "You Comin to the pub?".
I just prefer to go with the beat of my own drum. And people find that hard. I prefer being honest. I dont have the type of personality where i can always say yes to anything just because its the appeal of the broard demographic. I can be really up and down at a party! and sometimes i just have to bail. Its a problem for me. Just remember that if you do go to the Christmans party! that you can be yourself and you can make your own decisions. You can leave early if you want or stay all night if your enjoying the night.

Yeah people just don't understand why I don't like things like this. I think some other people probably get bored at these things too, but I'm the only one that seems to try and avoid being in that situation. Others just seem to be happy sitting there all night listening to other people talk.

I find leaving early quite difficult to do, probably the attention that I get when I get up and leave so early on in the piece.

I don't think I've ever been to a party where I've enjoyed the whole thing. Sometimes I have fun for a while, but after a few hours I just seem to run out of steam and just stop having fun.

 

[Richey]

I usually run into a group of people that can just bounce jokes! off of each othere non-stop. And i struggle to enter the conversation. After a while i just need want to leave.

 

[still-in-my-shell]

I have to go to mine, it's my first Christmas there and I'm only contract and I'm trying to get a permanent position, so I not only have the regular social pressure, but this overwhelming pressure about trying to keep my job.

The worst part this year is that I really like some people there and I don't want to blow it like I always do.

At least there's no dancing!!!

 

[ColdFury]

I don't go. I can't handle it.

 

[flake]

Ahhh, yes I *hate* this.

I go to a small place with only 7 people working there and the christmas dinner is a compulsory, yearly event for everyone..

The first year I pre-empted the question (on the last day before christmas) and left early for a fake doctors appointment...

Second year I simply got my dad to phone in sick on the day.

Third year I saved up 5 days holiday and took the entire week off to miss it.

This year I am saving the holiday up and intend to take the week off, in the mean time I am dodging all the questions about it yet still worry about it months in advance!

Its so stupid really, yet I am unable to get the confidence to go.

Hello, this is my first post here!

 

[still-in-my-shell]

Hi Flake!

That is hilarious! I have done the same sort of things myself!

 

[kiwi]

Hi Flake,

I've also taken time off to avoid things, not just the Xmas Party either.

Just wondering though, with only 7 people in the company it must be hard to avoid it. Do they ever make comments about you always missing the party? Do you think they know you're deliberately avoiding it?

The people I work with know I hate them and never have a good reason for missing them, so I don't pretend anymore. I still don't know what to say though when they ask why I'm not going, and usually just shrug my shoulders and say 'nah' without really giving a reason. Doesn't stop them from trying to change my mind though, even though I've been with the company for 6 years and have hardly ever been to any of the social events.