Och aye the noo

[Graeme1988]

Ah tell ye aboot it later. Cuz I'm currently enjoying the tranquillity. :bigsmile: And I've treated masel' tae a bottle o' this... :brindis:

 

[theslowesthand]

Making the most of the quality alone time i see! :thumbup:
What are ye mixing it with? Or are ye having it on the rocks?
Sounds amazing, what with "56 herbs and spices". Almost sounds like a health elixir . Does it taste any good? Closest to it what i drink is "Captain Morgan's" spiced rum.

The top half of that bottle look like the album cover of a heavy metal band!

 

[Graeme1988]

Making the most of the quality alone time i see! :thumbup:

Well... I was! Until yesterday, at least. :kickingmyself: Won't go intae that noo - I'm too pissed off. :veryangry: Plus, I'm still try tae wrap ma heid aroon whit ah did to deserve being guilt-tripped like ah wus. Going to really depressed for the remainder of the week, now.

The top half of that bottle look like the album cover of a heavy metal band!

I've thought that of the Jägermeister logo as well. It could either be a metal album cover or the cover for some weird prog-rock album.

 

[Graeme1988]

What are ye mixing it with? Or are ye having it on the rocks?
Sounds amazing, what with "56 herbs and spices". Almost sounds like a health elixir . Does it taste any good? Closest to it what i drink is "Captain Morgan's" spiced rum.

Don't know yet, ordered a bottle on Monday. Still waiting for it too arrive. Not sure if I'll mixing with anything? Pepsi is only soda in the fridge, but I don't know it'd go with Jäger? :thinking: As ah dinnae even want tae risk mixing it with Scotland's favourite fizzy drink, Irn Bru

^ That plus Jäger sounds f**kin' lethal if ye ask me...

 

[theslowesthand]

I've thought that of the Jägermeister logo as well. It could either be a metal album cover or the cover for some weird prog-rock album

 

[Graeme1988]

:bigsmile: :thumbup:

 

[Graeme1988]

^ This arrived today, a day later than expected. Kinda feart tae open it, like.
Since I'm tempted to open the f**ker n' git it doon ma neck in under a minute. Sadly I'm not saying that as a joke, neither. :sad: Cuz after whit happened yesterday... :kickingmyself:

 

[theslowesthand]

Found one with a stag...

 

[Graeme1988]

Found one with a stag...

erfect: :thumbup:

 

[Graeme1988]

F**k sake! Just got a refund for this bottle o' Jäger. Lost in tha f**kin' post - brilliant! :kickingmyself:

 

[Graeme1988]

At a low point yet again. Don't know how to cope, fear for my own well-being. Suicidal thought, alot bottled up rage from the emotional blackmail I endured from my mum earlier this week. Mentally at ma breakin' point. :crying: Wish I had a better, happier, more normal life. :sad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcHvzNBtlOw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTU6NLovI_Q

 

[theslowesthand]

Sounds like ya need to get "bladdered" mate (drunk). Shame about the bottle getting lost in mail . Could you go to the pub? Might lift ye spirits. Just be careful tho, as altho alcohol can relieve you of tensions, the stuff it brings up can be tricky to handle. That's why persoanlly, i always drink alone, as for me, people & alcohol don't mix. I just listen to music, & do stuff on the pc, which helps to keep my mind focussed on "safe" things.

And what about playing some heavy metal music? I mean REAL HARD-CORE heavy metal music. That's good for rage/etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3a0z9ZcSwPQ

 

[theslowesthand]

I just thought of an idea. What if you go see a councellor or therapist, with the sole intention of finding out how you can escape your living situation. I'm sure they'll have plenty of info about that & other mental-health issues. You don't have to talk about your problems either - you can just give em the basics of your situation, of how intolerable it is & has been, how you often think suicidal thoughts, etc. They might be able to find emergency housing for you, at least. I think it could be worth a shot, worth the inconvenience of seeing a therapist. Or maybe try ringing a suicide hotline? Or both?? Whatever the case, maybe it's time to start taking practical action on the matter of your living situation?

 

[Graeme1988]

Sounds like ya need to get "bladdered" mate (drunk). Shame about the bottle getting lost in mail . Could you go to the pub? Might lift ye spirits. Just be careful tho, as altho alcohol can relieve you of tensions, the stuff it brings up can be tricky to handle. That's why persoanlly, i always drink alone, as for me, people & alcohol don't mix. I just listen to music, & do stuff on the pc, which helps to keep my mind focussed on "safe" things.

I could gan tae the pub. But, like yersel', people n' alcohol don't mix. Especially since drink usually leads to fighting. Plus, ah don't want tae be yin o' pished f**kers ah hear outside my bedroom window on the weekend, because most o' the time it's a group o' folk huvin arguing aboot summit.

And what about playing some heavy metal music? I mean REAL HARD-CORE heavy metal music. That's good for rage/etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3JSbOt7CLo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DOamgay6Mw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFFU9VPM6pc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf0yWQzz0gM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys1rRnG6vzM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfLVs3yv_wg

If you've got an other suggestions, feel free... Even though the song I've included here by CIV is more hardcore punk than heavy metal. :bigsmile:

 

[Graeme1988]

I just thought of an idea. What if you go see a councellor or therapist, with the sole intention of finding out how you can escape your living situation. I'm sure they'll have plenty of info about that & other mental-health issues. You don't have to talk about your problems either - you can just give em the basics of your situation, of how intolerable it is & has been, how you often think suicidal thoughts, etc. They might be able to find emergency housing for you, at least. I think it could be worth a shot, worth the inconvenience of seeing a therapist. Or maybe try ringing a suicide hotline? Or both?? Whatever the case, maybe it's time to start taking practical action on the matter of your living situation?

Aw that would need tae be done privately, if there's a way o' daein it that way? :thinking: Give 'em basics? That might be a bit difficult, anaw. Us Scots don't give basic info, we gie ye the whole story. :bigsmile: That, and the fact my living situation has been intolerable for 12 to 15 years now. So... It's rather painful to discuss withoot breakin' doon in tears. :crying: Since most of the abuse ah endured fae ma family wus verbal, emotional and psychological, and not so much physical.

As for the suicide hotline, ah'll see what ma mother like when she get hame. If she's her dour-faced, miserable, negative self, ah'll gie Good Samaritans a ring. Though, I could rant aboot her manipulative, overreaction to me not returning her phone calls for much of Tuesday cuz ah wanted a quiet, lazy day. Oh, she'll change her tune once ah tell her how ah truly feel about her, like. What with only ever allows heap praise upon her and my older sisters.

As FountainandFairfax and BlueDays telt me recently:

I think your mom is just mad that she isn't a man, Graeme.

Piecing things together, she seems to suffer from a whopping case of penis envy. Everything she does reads like an abusive father/husband - right down to writing-off her stabbing of you as "only joking" (!).

Isn't that what abusive men do? Blame the victim and dismiss their valid concerns and protests as mere petulance and overreacting?

I think maybe her whole "Men are crap" angle boils down to simple jealousy.

Of course, I don't think I'd tell her that.

^ It sounds like your mother and sisters are just extremely immature people who have never really bothered to GROW UP.
They act like teenagers.

Btw......true Feminists don't actually believe "all men are b@$%@#s".
Your mother and sisters are not true Feminists, Graeme. They just use that as a cloak to cover their immaturity, just as some people use religion for the same reason.

So, I've got the immaturity and woe is me mentality to contend with. Since I know the moment I started speaking my mind, my mum will making about me being an ungrateful c*nt and the issue of her being a manipulative, narcissist, controlling bitch gets completely side tracked. Though, she'd still be proving my point by making it about herself

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, that wus shite week... :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

Don't whether ah should laugh or f**kin' greet? :crying: It just keeps piling on, and get worse. Family is going to shit... Part of me doesnae even care. The other half's wonder why ah should care. Ah suspect that's doon tae me huvin tae listen to my mum endless complain aboot summit on an almost daily basis? :question:

For better or worse, I'm just letting them argue and worry amongst each other, and no gittin' involved. Too stressful, dealing with that level of immaturity n' feminist rage. Am no taking sides. Naw, never making that mistake again. Plus it's.. NOMFP

Not
My
F**king
Problem​

Ah don't know... Guess ye become numb to it if ye grew up in a dysfunctional family situation? :idontknow:

 

[Graeme1988]

Ma mind feels awfy clutter the noo... Like ah cannae seem tae focus. Guess I'm dreading this whole family drama turn intae all oot war between Scots and Irish. Since my older (Scottish) sister married an Irishman fae Belfast. And by the sound o' it, divorce is likely.

Which if that's the case and my sister likely moving back in with our mum and I... Gawd! Ah think I'll move oot. Since I don't want to stuck in the middle of the emotional angst that will ensue. Cuz my mother tended to turn any rage directed at somebuddy else and project onto me. And, given how her and her daughters always prefer hear words that validate their feelings, rather than the truth. Ah think they'll take issue with going like this: :idontknow: If asked to give my opinion on the situation.

And my opinion wouldnae be whit they - or my older sister want to hear fae me - ie.

"Did ye no listen tae her feminist tangents years ago?! Mum telt you how your relationship would end if ye eventually got married. But then she also telt to stay single. Advice ah resented it the time but... Thank f**k I'm still single!​

^ Or summit tae that affect, y'know? A subtle wee, metaphorical, c*nt-kick fur aw the times my oldest sister ever claimed growing up without a father did us great. Ha!

Anyway, the past, let's say, 4 months - since we're nearly intae July already huv been a f**kin' blurry as far as what's been happening with me. Not that ah cannae recall owt, it's just went went by quickly. Huv'nae really hud the time to look back. Got some hilarious memories n' stories, though. So, being shy n' introverted isnae aw bad.

 

[theslowesthand]

And, given how her and her daughters always prefer hear words that validate their feelings, rather than the truth. Ah think they'll take issue with going like this: :idontknow: If asked to give my opinion on the situation.[/I]

If i'm nae mistaken, aren't most women like this, whereby they're EXTRA sensitive about personal matters. So you gotta talk to their emotional side (feelings) rather than to their logical (facts) side, the latter which men do very well, but the former not so well. Add to the fact that they're "feminists" (or self-righteous bitches), then it's DOUBLY hard to talk to them in a manner which they appreciate.

 

[Graeme1988]

If i'm nae mistaken, aren't most women like this, whereby they're EXTRA sensitive about personal matters. So you gotta talk to their emotional side (feelings) rather than to their logical (facts) side, the latter which men do very well, but the former not so well.

Aye, that's true.

Add to the fact that they're "feminists" (or self-righteous bitches), then it's DOUBLY hard to talk to them in a manner which they appreciate.

Naw, self-righteous bitches is an accurate description. Aye, it's doubly hard indeed to take to them in a way that gets my point across. Add to that the fact they rarely apologise when they're wrong - or they don't to me, at least. Since they'll spin it so I'm the one who's at fault. Another reason why ah don't particularly enjoy being around them as a collective. And they rarely learn from their mistakes. Or, to be more specific, my mum doesn't. Just saying...

Oh and last week, my oldest sister has burdened me with yet more responsibility. Because now, on top of being expected to remember everything - like if they've got something important to do, I've to remind them to do it. Then when I do, "Aye, aye - ah know..." is the response. Now that I've shown a wee bit mair independence and that ah cun cope on ma own, my oldest sibling is banging on aboot me caring for her and our mother, since both are gettin' on in terms of age. h:

She said aw that after a complaint which sounded a wee bit patronising, saying I coped well. Is it normally to huv that level o'expectation placed on ye - especially for a disabled person, y'know?

Nevermind, the fact that naebuddy in my family taught me how to be self-reliant, really. Or the fact ah feel guilty putting my needs ahead of everyone else's. But hey, cannae help that... Since ah got telt frequently in my teens that I was selfish for not caring enough about everyone else's problems. Despite these not affecting my life in any way and being unable to relate.