Introverted One
New member
Hello,
I have an obsession with cleanliness. For example, I can't stand touching things and not washing my hands afterwards.
I had this obsession some time before, but I discovered hand sanitizer and used it frequently instead of washing my hands. That saved my hands back then, but now I can't use it because the skin on my hands is red, cracked and itchy and applying it would give me a burning sensation. I use hand repair cream instead, each time after I wash my hands, but it doesn't seem to be working much because of the frequency of washing my hands.
I just want to stop, not only because of the damage it does to my hands, but also because my water bills are very expensive due to my washing obsession, not to mention all the soap I have to buy. I am also obsessed with showering, and although I don't always do it daily, I spend at least 30 minutes in the shower, and sometimes take multiple showers one after the other because I am under the impression I am not clean enough once I come out. Sometimes I spend as much as 15-30 minutes in the bathroom just washing and re-washing my hands because I have the feeling something went wrong and my hands aren't clean enough. Like the hand cream I apply, it feels oily so when I wash my hands I soap them at least twice, if not thrice or more to remove it. Then I spend a good deal rinsing them because I am obsessed there might be soap left. When I shower I shampoo my hair at least twice, maybe thrice if I don't feel it's clean, even if I had already showered minutes before.
Again, I want to stop, I realize this is unhealthy, but I simply can't make myself. I tried to force myself not to wash my hands at times, but I become stressed out, anxious, start to sweat, which makes it worse because it will mean I will have to shower and use even more water and products. As with the classic OCD symptoms I guess, the rituals have to be performed to relive from the anxiety. It's that I only feel comfortable when I am out of the shower, or after having washed my hands, and feel squeaky clean.
My cleanliness obsession is like a vicious circle. It prevents me from doing the cleaning up of my apartment often, because I don't want to become dusty for example. It's an ordeal when I do it. I refuse to eat foods that have to be touched by hand, like hamburgers and sandwiches, unless I have the option to wash my hands immediately. When I cook I'm very careful not to get dirty and sometimes even don't cook because it's too much of a hassle and stress. After I wash the dishes I have to shower and change clothes, because I'm paranoid some of the dirty water might have splashed onto my clothes or skin. Actually I avoid eating as often as possible, because I don't want to get dirty somehow. This makes me feel weak and depressed. Taking out the garbage is the worst part. I always have to schedule it, before I shower, because I feel extremely dirty afterwards.
Sometimes my self-suggestion makes me paranoid, like I am under the impression I touched against something dirty, although in reality I didn't. For example if it's inches away and I didn't touch it, but I have the feeling I did nonetheless. Feeling dirty sometimes makes me feel so terrible that I have panic attacks, get blocked and can't do anything normally.
It's worse if I am out somewhere and feel dirty. I sometimes run late to meetings due to my excessive washing and I'm afraid it's interfering with my efficiency at work. I always visit public bathrooms to wash, and since showering is not a possibility, if I sweat (usually because of becoming stressed out) I will not be able to enjoy the rest of the time left. My thoughts will be focused on getting home, showering and changing clothes. If it's not a compulsory meeting and it's a day out with friends or family, I sometimes even excuse myself and leave to get home and wash, and therefore my day out is ruined.
Sometimes being focused on something else, like work, watching TV or surfing the Internet helps but not always. I also used to spend much more time when I showered, over an hour, because I would soap myself at least four times, but I managed to reduce it to once or twice and feel clean. Yet for some reason I couldn't do the same thing about shampooing my hair. My hair gets oily quick, so I have to wash it at least every other day if I have to go somewhere.
I wouldn't want to use medication to treat this problem, cause I heard there are side effects and I don't react well to a lot of medication in general. So I'm more interested in self-suggestion and control techniques. Can I mentally program myself to feel I am NOT dirty, instead of keeping to tell myself that I am? And how?
Well, this was long, but I hope someone can advise me or at least relate and share experiences and how you managed to overcome it. Thanks for reading.
I have an obsession with cleanliness. For example, I can't stand touching things and not washing my hands afterwards.
I had this obsession some time before, but I discovered hand sanitizer and used it frequently instead of washing my hands. That saved my hands back then, but now I can't use it because the skin on my hands is red, cracked and itchy and applying it would give me a burning sensation. I use hand repair cream instead, each time after I wash my hands, but it doesn't seem to be working much because of the frequency of washing my hands.
I just want to stop, not only because of the damage it does to my hands, but also because my water bills are very expensive due to my washing obsession, not to mention all the soap I have to buy. I am also obsessed with showering, and although I don't always do it daily, I spend at least 30 minutes in the shower, and sometimes take multiple showers one after the other because I am under the impression I am not clean enough once I come out. Sometimes I spend as much as 15-30 minutes in the bathroom just washing and re-washing my hands because I have the feeling something went wrong and my hands aren't clean enough. Like the hand cream I apply, it feels oily so when I wash my hands I soap them at least twice, if not thrice or more to remove it. Then I spend a good deal rinsing them because I am obsessed there might be soap left. When I shower I shampoo my hair at least twice, maybe thrice if I don't feel it's clean, even if I had already showered minutes before.
Again, I want to stop, I realize this is unhealthy, but I simply can't make myself. I tried to force myself not to wash my hands at times, but I become stressed out, anxious, start to sweat, which makes it worse because it will mean I will have to shower and use even more water and products. As with the classic OCD symptoms I guess, the rituals have to be performed to relive from the anxiety. It's that I only feel comfortable when I am out of the shower, or after having washed my hands, and feel squeaky clean.
My cleanliness obsession is like a vicious circle. It prevents me from doing the cleaning up of my apartment often, because I don't want to become dusty for example. It's an ordeal when I do it. I refuse to eat foods that have to be touched by hand, like hamburgers and sandwiches, unless I have the option to wash my hands immediately. When I cook I'm very careful not to get dirty and sometimes even don't cook because it's too much of a hassle and stress. After I wash the dishes I have to shower and change clothes, because I'm paranoid some of the dirty water might have splashed onto my clothes or skin. Actually I avoid eating as often as possible, because I don't want to get dirty somehow. This makes me feel weak and depressed. Taking out the garbage is the worst part. I always have to schedule it, before I shower, because I feel extremely dirty afterwards.
Sometimes my self-suggestion makes me paranoid, like I am under the impression I touched against something dirty, although in reality I didn't. For example if it's inches away and I didn't touch it, but I have the feeling I did nonetheless. Feeling dirty sometimes makes me feel so terrible that I have panic attacks, get blocked and can't do anything normally.
It's worse if I am out somewhere and feel dirty. I sometimes run late to meetings due to my excessive washing and I'm afraid it's interfering with my efficiency at work. I always visit public bathrooms to wash, and since showering is not a possibility, if I sweat (usually because of becoming stressed out) I will not be able to enjoy the rest of the time left. My thoughts will be focused on getting home, showering and changing clothes. If it's not a compulsory meeting and it's a day out with friends or family, I sometimes even excuse myself and leave to get home and wash, and therefore my day out is ruined.
Sometimes being focused on something else, like work, watching TV or surfing the Internet helps but not always. I also used to spend much more time when I showered, over an hour, because I would soap myself at least four times, but I managed to reduce it to once or twice and feel clean. Yet for some reason I couldn't do the same thing about shampooing my hair. My hair gets oily quick, so I have to wash it at least every other day if I have to go somewhere.
I wouldn't want to use medication to treat this problem, cause I heard there are side effects and I don't react well to a lot of medication in general. So I'm more interested in self-suggestion and control techniques. Can I mentally program myself to feel I am NOT dirty, instead of keeping to tell myself that I am? And how?
Well, this was long, but I hope someone can advise me or at least relate and share experiences and how you managed to overcome it. Thanks for reading.
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