Noticing people treat me like a retard

[gustavofring]

You know when people talk in a condescending way, as if talking to a child or someone mentally impaired, instead of as an adult/peer. I notice people do this to me at work. I usually react in a sort of cynical way, playing along.

Lately I've come to sort of a realisation that people may actually think of me as a retard of sorts, and fear they probably talk behind my back that I may be that way. I don't know for sure, it could be paranoia I guess. But I have strong suspicions.

It's not that strange with my various dysfunctions, both on a social level as general developmental issues, but I really find it annoys me and makes me feel even more different. It also pushes me into wanting to "prove myself" as being normal, making things forced and awkward and sucking up a lot of my mental energy. I think I may actually be somewhere on the autism spectrum, after a long time of being in denial about it. But it doesn't mean I am some sort of retard who has to be talked to as if a child and can't comprehend it when people are taking the piss out of him.

Has anyone experienced the same? I guess nothing can really be done about it. You can't change people's minds once they've formed an impression of you. But somehow this makes life even harder.

 

[BlackPuma]

Yeah, due to mannerisms and personality traits caused by anxiety and upbringing nearly everyone I know is condescending to me - and it's an awful experience each and every time. The only thing I was able to do about was to numb myself to the reality of it and accept that it would continue for the foreseeable future.

The times in which people are actually respectful and inclusive to me are few and far between. They're oddly wonderful experiences and bizarrely comfortable. I find it hard to imagine what it would be like to feel like that for that majority of the time dealing with people.

 

[arjuna]

Many times before. Maybe you can see it as motivation to develop.

 

[Olives]

Yes but I don't blame them about it. It just proves that I have to keep working on my anxiety.

 

[Bronson99]

Many times before. Maybe you can see it as motivation to develop.

How were you able to tackle the problem and eventually get people to treat you as an equal? I'd like to know, honestly

 

[arjuna]

How were you able to tackle the problem and eventually get people to treat you as an equal? I'd like to know, honestly

Well, I used to say literally nothing, look down, look depressed, act abnormally, have a lot of self-pity, be very immature in just about everything...just don't do those things if you do. Have you tried to fit in? It really shouldn't be that complicated if you work at it.

Don't take yourself too seriously and try to have fun.

It can seem complicated to change someone's opinion of you if it has already been formed but it can be done. If you can't change those people's opinion, just accept it nonjudgingly and work towards your new, improved personality with the new people you meet.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I've been experiencing the same thing as well with most other people, no matter how hard I treat them as normal human beings. It's as if no matter what I do or say, people find it amusing to watch me grieve and wallow if I tell them about my personal life problems, which can be one of my biggest regrets to make. I'm a lot different than who most people seem to think I am. No, assume to believe I am I should say. It's worse when you're around stubborn people and there's nothing you can do to get them to change their way of thinking. It's exactly how that expression goes: "You can lead a horse to drink water, but you can't make him drink." There's no way to change a stubborn person's mind and I've learned this from my own personal experience with other people who are like this. On a side note, Many people never take me seriously most of the time, and there are actually times when I wish they would. So, from there on, unfortuantely I have to learn to keep all my opinions and thoughts to myself.

 

[Graeme1988]

There's no way to change a stubborn person's mind and I've learned this from my own personal experience with other people who are like this. On a side note, Many people never take me seriously most of the time, and there are actually times when I wish they would. So, from there on, unfortuantely I have to learn to keep all my opinions and thoughts to myself.

^ This pretty much sums up my experience with family and a few teachers during ma school days.