not wanting to flirt

[EscapeArtist]

Hmm well I guess the problem is not having the guts to say that you have a boyfriend, because that would be the simplest approach,even though it would make awkward the scene anyways. I'm stating this from a similar point of view, where I work guys ask me out and I am reluctant to tell them flat out that I'm a lesbian because it feels blunt and quick. So I take their number and feel anxious all day that they will show up. It would be easier if I could have just said it at that time. No, I don't think it's a bad idea to go to a different coffee shop, I understand. But I think it would strengthen you more to go back and tell the person that you have a boyfriend if he starts flirting with you. You can just laugh it off and thank him for the compliments or something, bring up a subject like "how's your day going?" and when he asks you back, say that it's good/whatever, and mention that you did something with your boyfriend... Make it kind of casual but bring it up so he knows, because this may happen again and it would be better to just not fear it happening again and learn how to deal with this common life situation.

 

[Bronson99]

*sigh* Avpd wins:sad:

Yes, lazycrab, please do us all a favor and stand up for yourself. At least go back to the coffee shop. If the same thing happens again, I'm sure you can find some polite way to indicate you're not interested.

 

[Richey]

Just tell him straight up that you're not interested.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Yes, lazycrab, please do us all a favor and stand up for yourself. At least go back to the coffee shop. If the same thing happens again, I'm sure you can find some polite way to indicate you're not interested.

It's just that when I get nervous especially with a compliment (which is not an everyday thing) I smile so it may seem like i'm flirting when i'm not ((( If I go again I will say my boyfriend will enjoy this coffee! I will try to smile less from now on... it's just so hard not to smile in an awkward situation...

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Thanks everyone for helping. I will ask for a coffee, not look at him unless it's necessary, not smile, and if he says something flirty, "my boyfriend will appreciate this drink." Haha of coarse it won't go smoothly but that's the plan...

 

[LeDiskoLove99]

I think as long as he isn't being too forward and keeps it respectful and you feel safe around him, it should be alright. No big deal. Enjoy the niceness of it, it's not like you're leading him on or flirting back.

But if it gets to the point where it makes you feel uncomfortable, and you'd rather not deal with it then just try to find another place or try your best to keep your distance from him. But either way it's not something to worry about too much. Just do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Probably not helpful, sorry about that haha. Good luck!

 

[LeDiskoLove99]

Thanks everyone for helping. I will ask for a coffee, not look at him unless it's necessary, not smile, and if he says something flirty, "my boyfriend will appreciate this drink." Haha of coarse it won't go smoothly but that's the plan...

Good plan!

 

[GhoulsNightOut]

Thanks everyone for helping. I will ask for a coffee, not look at him unless it's necessary, not smile, and if he says something flirty, "my boyfriend will appreciate this drink." Haha of coarse it won't go smoothly but that's the plan...

Yay! That's a great start. No need to be hard on yourself if it doesn't go as smoothly in your head. Every small step counts towards self-improvement. Actions lead to habits. Good luck.