Not knowing what to say in social situations

[bebo]

I feel the same when I have to talk to people. My mind goes completely white and I don't know what so say. I can feel very clumsy and I think that if I say something very elaborated I might be seen as an idiot or a dumb.

I sometimes envy people who can talk for hours without trouble. I cannot think fast during the interaction, but afterwards when I think about it alone, ideas suddenly come and I am all like: why didn't I say that?!

Yes, I know how you feel and I dare say internet helped me a lot with this....

 

[Argentum]

I struggle with apathy more than with thinking of something to say in the first place. Like it's not going to matter what I say or I have no control over how things go.

 

[Richey]

I work in a job/department where everyone is extroverted and funny on cue, they can talk 24/7 and seem to know everything about every subject, finding it very difficult to cope as I tend to internalise everything and just struggle in that environment, I think it's because you can't walk away from the situation so that causes a bit of tension, because of the personality differences...

Definitely in the wrong industry.

It's so hard, doing this everyday. y'know.

Need a wage but this is gruelling levels social pressure.

 

[S_Spartan]

You can do like Brick Heck did on The Middle and just repeat whatever the other person said followed by the word "cool". So if someone says "I like baseball" say "you like baseball, cool!" Then they talk about themselves some more...worked for him on the show at least for a while...lol

 

[Avatar]

A blank mind

 

[PKMNMANIAC]

Ask questions and tell them things...try to make it relevant though I don't think I having amazing conversation skills but putting a bit of effort in and showing interest goes a long way. My ideal is to get someone talk about something they are passionate about, then you can throw in a few "oh yeahs" and "how does that works" and they will talk for ages!

Also, a conversation needs two people. it's up to them as much, as much as it is you, to keep it going.

I find other people like this a lot, mainly on the internet and not confined to sites like this. Interpals is one of the worst offenders. I will get a message saying just "hi" or a response of "haha yeah" ....... What do they want me to do with that?

 

[RegalSin]

Say whatever you want to say, to hell with what they think. Time passes by who cares what you say it is about what you do.

 

[ONline87_15793]

So basically my problem is not knowing how to have a conversation in almost any situation.
On facebook i get as far as 'how are you' and it dies after that, I really have no idea what to talk about.
In person theres alot of social awkwardness and not knowing what to say.
Its like as soon as it comes to socializing I forget how to be myself and when I try to remember I just cant.
Other people have conversations easily, they make friends easily and so on, but I just cant.
Does anybody have experience in dealing with this?

yes, i'm usually creative and motivated.

 

[Lester_Burnham]

Yeah that's a big problem for me too. This evening I've driven home a friend of mine, but we're not very close so I didn't know what to say and we stayed silent for a great part of the time we shared together. That was quite awkward I have to admit...I thought about something to say but my mind went totally blank! I'd like to know how to do some small talk but I'm absolutely no good at it!

 

[PugofCrydee]

I've found that actually listening and visualizing what people are talking about AS they are saying it helps a lot.
It takes my mind off what people may be thinking about me. I think it's more along the lines of what people without SA do/think when socializing.

 

[AtTheGates]

for me, not knowing what to say isnt usually much of a problem. the problem is not knowing what I can say that they wont judge me for...I like having weird conversations about off-the-wall topics and I hate when I have to watch what I say around certain people.

 

[Withnail73]

I am the same. I have trouble knowing what to say. Part of the problem is that I actually don't share many of the same interests with people that I meet. Also, as I am talking or the other person is doing so, I find myself paying close attention to their expressions for signs of disapproval or the background. There is an information overload. Kind of like a computer running to many programs and then freezing.

 

[jayfan]

feel the same way. never know what to say to people . Im a shut in. I lack even the basic of social skills. Hang out with my kids all day and its gets boring. I have plenty of interest and hobbies but every ones first question is always " what do you do" .Answering i stay home and take care of my kids sounds lame to me. So i don't really try to talk to people that much because i always end feeling inadequate. This all in real life as well, i don't do social media.

 

[lonewolfgirl]

I have the same problem. I'm trying to make friends, but my nature is a silent one. I often don't know what to ask the other person, and after they have answered my question, I dont know what to say next. I also dont know what to share about myself to not sound so boring.