Not having anything to do really...

[faithnomore]

Does anyone else have this problem? I used to work etc, but now i am really isolated. Most of the time i yearn for change, but its pretty much impossible for me to go anywhere.

I just cannot find the courage to go out.

So i stay at home feeling anxious/depressed/frustrated all the time. I guess i dont believe much would change if i went out.

What the hell am i going to do? Has anyone else managed to get over the fear of going outside? (its extreme social phobia, not proper agoraphobia)

 

[deadinside]

Yes - knowing you need to change but doing it are annoyingly so different - best thing I can say that is mildly helpful is find a reason to go out (in my case it was to earn money to afford rent and bills - otherwise i wouldn't go out at all) but i'm trying not be so negative

 

[anomicdeer]

I want to go out but there is nothing interesting where I live. I would love to go get a life. It's not that I'm afraid to go out, I'm not agoraphobic, but I hate going out where there are people. I don't mine places with people, but too many people, I hate it. that's why I don't like the city. I couldnt live there EVERYDAY. I know I would have to deal with people but too many, everyday, no... not me. the city is night at night and they good cities have good stores but I dont want to live there.

 

[mikestar]

I used to do lots of things but had lots of bad expierence,so thats put me off. I went to the supermarket once and had a panic attack waiting in the queue,everyone watching and giggling and im just standing there so awkward with my head and hands shaking uncontrollably. Never been back since because I know it would happen again

I always dream of being very confident and centre of attention for the good reasons so lets hope maybe one day that dream will come true...

I still spend alot of my time in my bedroom thinking what things would be like if I tryed them, but then the little anxiety devil appears and tells me all the negative things

Best thing to do is small steps, depending on where you live you could go out for a walk in the countryside. Explore fields,woods,lakes its peacefull and relaxing and you're not surrounded by people

At the moment im stuck on what to do, I've been out for a walk this morning with the dog and I feel pressured,as im living with my family and I think they expect me to do more but I cant...I try to please them to much and I shouldnt have to do that

looks like afternoon on here

 

[recluse]

Since loosing my job last month i feel more shy than ever, probably because my job forced me to be with people. Now i'm really nervous every time i walk down the street and stuff.

 

[Iranianguy]

i never have anything to do at all, i get so bored all the time just staying in the house
i hate it so much

 

[PunkRotten]

I relate to you all. Another thing is I wory about later, like being able to take care of myself. Well, iI try not to think that far ahead, I jsut wanna feel alive again, have enjoyment, this is my goal for now. I need to find and feel life again before I do anything.

 

[mimi1988]

My fear of walking in public was much worse when I was younger. I've managed to compose my fear to some degree. My anxiety really kicks in when I'm in crowded places because I feel like (almost) everyone's watching me, but I don't know who lol. I'd definately go out more... if I actually had friends to hang out with lol. I know it may seem hard to do, but you kinda have to force yourself. You don't get over your fears by running away from them. Trust me I know how you feel. It feels like the whole world is watching/judging your every move (and word). I realize those thoughts are irrational and that almost no one is even paying attention to me, yet I can't shake those thoughts. When I feel my anxiety coming on you know what I do? I keep tellin' myself, "you know what, F 'em!" lol. Just say F what everyone else thinks. I won't lie and say it helps A LOT, but it does help a little. But you have to keep tellin' yourself that.

 

[Quiet Angel]

My fear of going outside used to be unbearable & intense. On quite a few occasions, I spent 2-3 hours on my appearance (makeup, hair, etc.) and tried on SEVERAL different outfits. Eventually, I made the foolish decision to stay home, even if I looked attractive, I believed I wasn't & believed I'd get stared at, judged, harassed, etc. Fortunately, it's changed for me now, however, socializing/interaction continue to be a great challenge.

My advice? Baby steps. Write down your minor accomplishments. Write down your goals & how you'll be able to achieve them. Perhaps even imagine this in your mind, too. This way, you'll be able to get a clear idea of how you can change & live the ideal life you wish to live. I'm sending you my best wishes.

 

[faithnomore]

Thanks for all the comments so far!

"Deadinside": Yeah, i have worked before, but its so difficult to get a job after being so isolated. I have no idea what would be suitable.

"anomicdeer": There isn't much to do in my area either. But even if there was, i would probably not take part.

"mikestar": Its strange that we sometimes imagine being successful in social situations. I guess we want some positive attention one day. I am also stuck for what to do.

"recluse": Thats how it is/was for me. Once the job was over, i had nothing to do and no reason to go anywhere. (but at least at home i see less couples walking about).

"Iranianguy": Me too

"Punkrotten": I am always being told not to think to far ahead. But i like to know what my future holds. I want things to go right all the time, i cant deal with failure. I'm too used to things not happening/working out. And yeah, i also need to find "life". I feel like i'm on autopilot.

"mimi1988": Its weird because i can compose myself outside, even if i feel really scared. I am afraid to force myself to be in places, i get so overwhelmed by all the "hip, and cool" people. I feel like people are watching me sometimes, and other times i get absolutely no attention. It would be nice to get some (quiet) positive attention for once.

"quietangel": I am never sure what to wear/if i look right. And yeah, staying home at the last moment, usually making an excuse is/was my speciality. The problem with goals is i dont know where to start, or what to do. I am absolutely clueless. Thanks for the best wishes!

 

[Skatergirl]

Yes i have the same problem, I don't know anything to do,
Today it's weekend. And I should make fun, do something fun,
But I just can't!
I'm isolated, and i'm so bored of it.
i have extremely social phobia, which makes me stay in the house.
I find it even hard to take of my mail at the mailbox.
Because there might be cars driving by, or cyclers. Or the neighbours would watch me. It's sooo bad ::
But over an hour i will go shopping with my parents... But i'm afraid what will happen.. Hope it's gonna be ok..

 

[faithnomore]

Skatergirl: Its always difficult thinking about what other people are up to, and comparing. I feel bad, even though a few friends came over to see me like once a week (i have 2 friends). I dont go anywhere, and getting a job will be difficult because it would mean i would have to leave the house and be on my own alot, vulnerable to judgement etc.

Stupidmonkey: Same for me, once a week i go to see my counsellor. Thats the only time i go out. Its really difficult when seeing other people living their lives, and knowing that i will have to be social to get respect/make friends.

 

[spider04]

i'm always in front of my pc playing games, seeing pictures of ppls having fun etc

 

[recluse]

I'm really bored! It's 1 am here and i don't want to go to bed. I feel tired but i feel so discontent with life i don't want to sleep.

 

[faithnomore]

I'm really bored! It's 1 am here and i don't want to go to bed. I feel tired but i feel so discontent with life i don't want to sleep.

Sometimes i can be happy/content watching movies, playing games, listening to music, reading etc. But then all of a sudden every once in a while i just think "uh-oh, i'm not doing anything in life, and i have no-one really". It does get hard to not think negative thoughts.

 

[Nicholas]

I find it even hard to take of my mail at the mailbox.
Because there might be cars driving by, or cyclers. Or the neighbours would watch me. It's sooo bad ::
But over an hour i will go shopping with my parents... But i'm afraid what will happen.. Hope it's gonna be ok..

Skatergirl, please try to go out even if you don't feel like it at all. Go shopping with your parents, and try to do something like that regularly, to force yourself to go out. Otherwise you might develop severe agoraphobia, and that's not good. I think I would just be content to stay at home all day and listen to some music, but I know that retiring from society is one of the biggest mistakes you can do (Charles Linden said it, and psychologists, etc.), so I try to go out anyway. The more you avoid something, the more you're gonna get "intolerant" of it. Even if it's just to go to for a walk, or just go out somewhere every few days or so, do it, even if you would like not to.

It's not that I don't have anything to do. I think I have too many things to do, actually, way too many things... I could do... if I wasn't scared, if I knew how to do them, if I could do them together with someone else who won't judge me, if I knew what I really wanted to do and where to start. So in the end I hardly do anything, even though I feel like I have to do a lot of things.

 

[mikestar]

sat here doing nothing today feel like im being judged by the people im living with,that im not doing anything. Some days I wake up and feel like I cant be assed and todays one of those days

 

[shygirl14]

I am now looking for work, if I couldn't do that I wouldn't. I rather stay at home, but seeing how to make a living to pay bills I have no choice. I don't mind going out like to visit my sister or dad. I don't even go to church that much anymore there are so many people and pretending to be happy and act like everything is okay gets tiring after a while. Sometimes there is no happy medium with anxiety.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

The fact that I have very little of a social life and no job makes me even more insecure and self-loathing. I do nothing... My friends all have social lives and/or a job/school. I have nothing. And I try to hide it...
I hate myself because I hate myself. Which sounds stupid, but it's true. Why can't I just be 'normal'?

 

[oxygencult]

I agree, this past two weeks I've never really done anything substantial or worthwhile.
I've been very depressed as of late, add this to being broke as hell, having no life whatsoever, having little or no motivation to do anything at all... add heavy procrastination to the mix... it's killing me i tell ya!