Newbie Journal

[Feathers]

YAY for surviving it all!!

Anyway, you got prepared and this gives you bonus points plus lots of info for any other days you might need to do presentations.. Maybe Toastmasters could really be a good idea to practise?

About kids - yup, sounds familiar.. There are ways to calm down kids, but any speeches need to be VERY short..

You might be suffering 'aftermath' after an event, they can kinda wear me out a bit too, epsecially if sweets/alco/unhealthy food are involved.. If not, it's usually better..
Also, probably need a new focus to target your energies at? What could be a next interesting thing?

lol I sometimes wonder about FB too - I can sure sometimes think of something exciting to write even if life is not too exciting, lol.. You can just post a random thought or good wish or saying you like.. (that's what some people do..)

Wishing you a good week!!

 

[Darryl]

You sure you've got SA?

After reading your thread and all the forward energy you have, doesn't sound like SA... "well to me, anyway".

Usually most people displaying a disorder need some help to see were there at, and progress at a slow rate with lots of up's and down's trying to break old habits.. but you!

I can't work you out- Not that it's my place to do so...But worry that your focusing you attention not at the source of the problem.

OCD and Avpd, no... SA? Panic attacks? dunno........ I read you went to the pub with your mates.... where's the anxiety?

Your behaving far too normal for me (and I don't like it!!)


Kind Regards
Darryl

 

[pirl]

You sure you've got SA?

After reading your thread and all the forward energy you have, doesn't sound like SA... "well to me, anyway".

Usually most people displaying a disorder need some help to see were there at, and progress at a slow rate with lots of up's and down's trying to break old habits.. but you!

I can't work you out- Not that it's my place to do so...But worry that your focusing you attention not at the source of the problem.

OCD and Avpd, no... SA? Panic attacks? dunno........ I read you went to the pub with your mates.... where's the anxiety?

Your behaving far too normal for me (and I don't like it!!)


Kind Regards
Darryl

Hi Darryl,

Missed a few days on here due to a hectic schedule at work!

Not sure myself what I have to be honest. Looking back at this day last week, it's hard to understand the anxiety I felt prior to having to give that speech.

What I have taken from the experience is something of a new outlook - I am more outgoing and conversational at work and will try to keep working on that.

What I also have done is slip back into lazy habits but it's been a very very busy week work-wise so it's been a battle to keep on top of that. I have some time to think over the weekend - I'd really like to look into something like Toastmasters or getting involved in voluntary groups.

I agree that I may not have SA - maybe a more general anxiety (I am by nature a worrier) and a lack of self-confidence. I have however found 'Overcoming SA' very useful to date and will continue to use it..

 

[Feathers]

Darryl,

if you look at the info on this site, you will see that people can have just one specific form of SA (in very specific situations, like public speaking) or more general SA in many situations..
There can be combination with anxiety and other stuff too...

Someone posted some links, even Barbra Streisand and some famous actors like Sir Laurence Olivier had SA about performing in public at times!! very helpful to know!!

Pirl,
I think Darryl meant it as a compliment though!!

I'm pretty sure many here admire you and wish we could have it that easy in many cases too!!

Do let us know how it goes with Toastmasters or any other volunteering groups or stuff!!

 

[pirl]

Hi All,

Been struggling with flu the last few days - these dark and cold winter nights are setting in and everyone seems to be coughing and sneezing!

All has been very quiet.. too quiet in fact.. sometimes I really find that the day to day monotony of everyday life can be a real struggle! I really need to explore some ways of breaking the routine but that's easier said than done when you have a young family and each day is more or less mapped out in advance! Anyone else struggle with routine?

Anyways, I can't really complain at the moment. Have to concentrate my energy on shaking this flu!

 

[pirl]

Been a while since I've been on.

All has been very quiet recently - work has kept me very busy and I've had a very quiet time of things away from work. Been doing some jogging to keep my head right,

As regards social situations, I've had very little going on in the last couple of weeks. Speaking to a friend this evening and going to make an effort to go out for a few drinks next weekend.

I was thinking today and I don't have too many close friends. I must be the worst person in the world for keeping in contact with people.. Wonder is this a common trait? Sometimes I really regret loosing contact with people I used know..

 

[pirl]

Out for a meal tonight and done ok. Sometimes, it can be a struggle for me to make conversation but I kept trying. I have to say that I often feel jealous of those people who seem so out-going and full-of-life - I sometimes feel that other people must see me as boring when it comes to having a conversation. I often find that people talk over me but perhaps that says more about those people than about me. Seems to be very few people out there that will listen!

 

[pirl]

Wow, it's been nearly a year since I've posted on my log here.

This place came to mind when we had another annual get-together to end off the year at the youth club. Things came to a head last year prior to me thinking I'd have to make a speech (turned out I didn't).

What happened since?

Well, I was doing CBT but didn't follow through on it. I've recently started back at it with a new determination. I have a lot of the same issues I had last year so it does need to be tackled.

I've had a real busy year and have sorted out a lot of personal issues at home. What I did realise last year was that my anxiety was having a real effect on my relationship with my wife and children and I've taken big steps to move away from that. We also have a teenage girl who has been very challenging and it's been very stressful getting my head in the right state to deal with all that.

What's left is avoidance (I tend to avoid doing certain social things), low self-confidence (which I am working on) and a difficulty concentrating. Like I said, I've had a really busy year and a very stressful one so I'm only really getting to tackle these issues now.

Looking back on my posts from last year, I was so full of purpose and intent but I didn't follow through on that like I should. At the moment, I have my mind in a place where I am going to really tackle this. I have been making strides at work as regards socialising and mixing and have been more forthright with my opinions.

One thing that has helped me is to keep lists and to write down some goals. One of my goals is now to keep posting on here regularly to help me keep focused on working on this!

 

[pirl]

Ok, I've resolved to try and keep this updated as part of my efforts to be consistent with regards to my fight against sa/anxiety.

Had a busy weekend. Spent a lot of it fretting over an evening out yesterday. As is normally the case, the fretting was over nothing as the night went great.

What I did notice and what is a bit concerning is how after a few drinks, I became chatty and outgoing. When I got there first, I found myself struggling to keep conversations going but once I had a few drinks, I could chat away quite happily.

Thinking about it, I think that I consume so much time thinking 'what am I going to say next' instead of just relaxing and letting the conversation flow. When I have a few drinks, that thinking and over-analyzing seems to stop and I become more spontaneous.

It's quite worrying that I need drink in order to be able to converse freely so that is something I need to address.

Putting that aside, I had a great night and had a few decent chats with a number of people. Should really do that more often.

Anyways, I'm very tired now. Going out on a Sunday and working on Monday ain't a good mix!

 

[pirl]

Just a quick check-in.

Football last night which went well. Made a real conscious effort to mix and done pretty ok at it.

I'm not fully sure if I have SA - perhaps it is just restricted to certain occasions. For example, I'm comfortable going playing football even though I may meet people I don't know. The only thing is that I don't have to sit talking to anyone I don't know too well.

It's on occasions where I might end up sitting with people I don't know that well (or at all) that I struggle. Maybe it's more shyness and lack of self confidence that I have as opposed to SA.. maybe they are intrinsically linked.

Anyway, going to keep pushing myself whatever it is I have.

Got some bad news this morning about a relation that has left me a bit shocked - my head is literally racing. What it does mean is that I'll have to go somewhere where I'll meet people I haven't seen in some time - outside of my comfort zone but I'll see how it goes. In the past, I'd have been more worried about how I'd cope but given the news I got, there's a far bigger picture than how I am feeling.

 

[Feathers]

I was thinking today and I don't have too many close friends. I must be the worst person in the world for keeping in contact with people.. Wonder is this a common trait? Sometimes I really regret loosing contact with people I used know..

Well, that's what Facebook is/can be for...

Good to read your yearly update!! Yeah, I've noticed that stress can make things worse too, so regular de-stressing regime is kinda important!

I found it easier to talk to people while walking or working on something together too... (would probably pass on football )

Sorry to hear about bad news, know that in times like that family/friends stay together and then it's easier for everyone... Hope things go well (as much as possible)...

 

[pirl]

Yesterday saw a massive change in me. Sometimes something happens in life that puts your own problems into perspective.

Life is short folks so we should all fight our demons and try and live it as best we can!

 

[Feathers]

Well said. Hope things go well for you!

 

[pirl]

Well said. Hope things go well for you!

Thank you.

 

[pirl]

Just checking in. If nothing else, checking in here helps focus the mind.

Knocked off track a little by recent events but determined to get back to the CBT next week.

This whole thing really is in the mind. In a social occasion, the old me used tell myself not to talk as no-one would listen to me or that the person I'm speaking to doesn't like me or finds me boring. My big issue is now not with starting a conversation but with keeping one going - it's something I need to work on and chip away at bit by bit.

The other thing I'm learning to do is not replay over-and-over social situations that didn't run smoothly. From time to time, there'll be awkwardness - this is normal and happens to everyone. The trick is not to beat yourself up over it.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

The other thing I'm learning to do is not replay over-and-over social situations that didn't run smoothly. From time to time, there'll be awkwardness - this is normal and happens to everyone. The trick is not to beat yourself up over it.

I used to do this a lot at night. Like assessing myself if I did something bad at the end of the day. I was too hard on myself. But I gradually learned to accept things and learn from my mistakes rather than feel so bad or sulk about it. I' still do it sometimes but not as extreme as before. You're on the right track!

 

[pirl]

Short update.

Been a real difficult few days for reasons other than my SA. My mind has been elsewhere completely. As regards my shyness and anxiety, I've come through this difficult period really well. Met plenty of relations over the last few days and 'put myself out there' so to speak - something that most people take for granted but which is a big thing for me. Also managed to carry out conversations in a couple of awkward situations that I would have previously avoided.

Got to get back to the basics tomorrow and get back to the CBT audio-course I was listening to. Need to be consistent in my approach to this.

 

[pirl]

A bit low today for some reason. Sometimes after a busy few weeks, I feel like my energy levels drop and I 'withdraw' somewhat.

At least I can see what is happening and try to address it.

Peaks and troughs!

 

[pirl]

Been over a week since I've updated and what a week it's been.

Our eldest child decided to be the teenager from hell for a few days and it was only at the end of last week that we started getting to the bottom of the problem. It's been a real stressful week and continues to be so really taking it one day at a time.

As a result of this, the CBT that I was getting into has been put to one side. It's really hard to make the time or drum up the enthuiasm for it at the moment but I am hoping that posting here will keep me aware of what I need to do.

 

[Seabreeze]

Pirl: I've just been reading your journal and I'm amazed at the similarities between us. I have been struggling with SA for a long time. I do have a certain quality of life after undergoing CBT some years ago but some stuff still gets on top off me and I don't tend to test the boundries of my comfort zone......sometime I want to break free and change some aspects of my behaviour.
I have done alot of stuff like getting a job, interacting with people much better and geting married but I feel like there are so many things I still need to work on as I get setback from time to time. Hope to chat sometime