Nervous About Guys

[lunarla]

And not in a "heheh" school girl kind of way. I'm just nervous about guys that I don't know, and don't have very much trust in anyyyy of them that I may just see walking down the street. I think it may have something to do with all the shows I watch about abduction and abuse on women and whatnot (probably). I've come to this conclusion because I haven't been physically or sexually abused personally. So it kind of confuses me about how I have this sometimes paralyzing fear of guys. More often lately I've been having these thoughts that will pass through my mind, usually very graphic thoughts, about me being hurt in countless different ways by males. Recently my mom and I were leaving and it was somewhat dark out, and there were these two 18-23ish looking guys walking up the hill very near to where I live. I immediately asked my mom if she locked the doors and was a bit worried about that for a while. Today I found out that they just moved in a few houses down from me. I like to go for walks, and having been planning to do it even more lately, so it really makes me even more worried than I would have been previously. How irrational am I being about this? For all I know they could be nice, normal guys. But for some reason I immediately think that they're going to plot some way to hurt me.

I also want to know if there's a couple other instances that I may have been irrational about. A summer ago I was walking my dog as I usually did and there were these two boys (different ones) who were on a different level'd road near to me (sort of a corner, but where I was walking was higher up so I could see them) anyway, they spot me and start walking towards me in a way that I thought was very quick and sort of offensive. I pick up my pace in the other directions and after a couple minutes of following me, they turn around and go the other way. Is that suspicious? Also, another time, I was walking to my bus and a truck on the main road slows down and stops for about 40 seconds close to where I'm walking on the second road parallel to it. It wasn't at a stop sign or anything, just stops dead in the middle of the road, then speeds off. Suspicious, or no? Yet anotherrrrr time I was walking to my bus again, past this house and this man walks out just as I'm walking by. He looks straight at the ground and it's just sort of suspicious to me because, for one, it was winter at about 7 in the morning and there's really no where that I could think he'd be walking to because the nearest store is probably an hour walk. That same man has been standing on his porch a couple times as I'm walking and just sort of looks at me. Definitely gives me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I'm supposed to listen to that, right? Or maybe my pit-of-my-stomach feeling has a broken circuit or something so it just goes off at any little thing.

 

[scrumblebee]

If I was a girl, knowing what I know, I sure as hell wouldn't trust the majority of guys.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Here's the thing. Guys are always going to look at girls, and their thoughts are usually going to be sexual. That doesn't mean they want to assault you, but it's easy to get the signal mixed-up when you're a girl, and especially if you have SA.

If I were you, I'd walk with your mom or someone you trust. I'd carry a whistle and a cellphone, (a pocket-knife wouldn't hurt, either) and I wouldn't go walking anywhere that's secluded or walk when it's getting near-dark.

I follow some of those same guidelines, and I'm a 200 pound beast of a man. Ha Ha

But I know how scary it is to be SP and how easily it is to be intimidated when you're not able to be rational. Make some rules when you're around the house as far as what is and isn't suspicious, and what you should or shouldn't be scared about and decide beforehand what you will do in those cases that suspicious behavior is occurring. That will give you a plan and something to reference in the heat of the moment that's not tainted by worry or fear. Then you'll have a course of action in the case that a real threat should start to arise.

Err on the side of caution and take care of yourself.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

Where I live, if you travel alone on buses/trains (or walking alone) then you're bound to run into trouble at some point (particularly if you're female). Because of my area's bad reputation for street violence, I generally don't travel alone for too long. I have no idea how your neighbourhood might be, but the way things are today... You're suspicions are probably not too over the top. But you certainly have a problem that you might want to address.
As for me, I'm pretty much scared of everyone. Men or women. The violent/horny, loud-spoken men are certainly the worst.

 

[Interzone]

I can definitely see where you are coming from but it's something you really shouldn't need to worry too much about. It doesn't matter if your a girl, but anyone walking alone in a kinda empty area is in a way putting themselves at risk whether they are a girl or a boy.

And to be honest, most guys are always going to be looking at girls just like girls look at guys. So it's really nothing to think of as weird. Most guys aren't criminals and certainly aren't going to do something to hurt you.

In any case, it wouldn't hurt to carry a small can of mace/pepper spray if you feel unsafe walking in certain areas, but that also goes for both men and women.

I just don't really see much of a difference if your walking alone. I'm a guy, 5'8" 125lbs, so I'm pretty skinny, I don't think it would take much to take me down if I were alone. Who knows, thugs or something. Well, I figure I can run pretty damn quick. Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is you shouldn't feel more vulnerable just because you are a girl. If you are alone, no matter who you are, you are at risk in an empty area.

Also, I have another suggestion, get a bike. You move faster, do more exercise and will feel safer.

 

[lunarla]

Thanks, guys! I really would feel safer if I had a cellphone (I know right, I don't have a cell phone :O) or pepperspray and a knife or something. But then I'd probably just be thinking "omg I have a knife, what if I'll have to use it?" But it's better to be safe than sorry, as the saying goes, I guess.