Need To Vent :'(

[punklove]

Ok so I'm really sorry in advance if this becomes very long (which it probably will) I just need to say this in order to feel at least somewhat better. A bunch of things are getting at me lately.

First of all my bestfriend has decided to be a complete b*tch to me. She doesn't understand how hard it is to go to school and just hang out in general when you have SAD. I've tried numerous times to explain it to her and eventually she said "I'm sick of talking about SAD" So clearly she didn't understand anything that I'm going through and even worse then that... she didn't care. A couple of days ago I told her (by texting) that I don't need superficial people in my life and she said what she usually says "Wtf? What's wrong with you??" I hate it when she says that and I had finally had enough so I haven't talked to her for about three or four days now. I don't know if I did the right thing or not because now I feel really lonely... I don't really have any friends now. Katie was my bestfriend and now all I have is my boyfriend.

Don't take that the wrong way I love my boyfriend so much.. more then words can explain, but still it sucks not being able to have my bestfriend anymore. I hate change... it terrifies me and now it seems that I'm standing in the middle of it... meaning that change is constantly surrounding me these days.

I'm supposed to be going to this program called "building bridges" where teens with SAD go for help.. there's even an academic side to it. But I've simply been to anxious to go and now my dads side of the family is starting to figure out that haven't been going to school and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to them. The other day I confessed to my dad and sent him some links about SAD but I don't know... I doubt they'll accept me. My moms side of the family's much more accepting when it comes to this kind of thing.

Christmas is coming up which means I'm going to have to come up with something to say to everyone but I have no idea what to say... I don't feel comfortable with the situation at all.

I have an issue with self harm. I cut. It's really hard to talk about but I figure if I'm venting here I might as well be completly honest. I get triggered quite easily these days and I really want to stop cutting... but it's the only thing I get satisfaction from these days..

Sorry just had to get that off my chest.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Don't apologize. Feel free to vent.

I don't vent often, if at all. I'll join you in venting so alone you are not.

I don't vent enough. I should get a ranting vent going. Something, something. --> I did try.

 

[Rodney]

Losing best friends is always tough. If she means that much to you than you shouldn't let her go. Maybe the couple of days you've had apart from each other was a needed break. Perhaps you should just apologize to her and tell her that you're sorry for the text and that if she doesn't want to hear about your struggles with sad than that is fine. Your friend doesn't understand SAD so it is best not to talk to her about it, leave that for this forum and your bf if he doesn't mind hearing it.

As for the cutting, go ahead and cut, just not deep but be aware of the scars you'll keep (poem!). No, but seriously think about it. Urges to cut come but they go away eventually. You need to be pro-active and get rid of your cutting tools because you're less likely to cut if you don't have anything available to cut with.

 

[mismeek]

I kinda agree with Rodney, you two probably just need some space. But I dont think its right that she treated you that way. A real friend would have tried to understand and make allowances for you, but if she really does care for you she will come around.

Do you think your dad's side are going to ask you outright? I usually just use the excuse that I've just been stressed out lately....or I have senior-itis and have been too lazy to go to school. Try to use humor to diffuse the situation if youre not comfortable talking about it. Its kinda like a friendly blow off ya know?

as for the cutting. I heard wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it when you feel like cutting helps. And you can do it whenever you want!

hope this helps!

 

[tiscircle]

Well a person without sad will find it difficult to understand the difficulty that ppl with sad have to go through. It's kinda difficult. You and your friend both have a strong point. A compromise should be helpful here. But getting a compromise is equally just as difficult as I suppose.

 

[missjesss]

aww i FEEL YOU for me thats when s.a started was in high school !! the only way to make it better is by accepting yourself now and learning to not care what other ppl think of you ... with your friend situation if she is a true friend she will come back to you and you guys will work through it at least you have your bf and with the cutting it only makes you feel worse ive done it myself more when I was a little younger the truth is it is temporary relief for your true feelings and problems as is over eating or whatever it is you do when you feel crap so the best thing to do is keep telling yourself its ok and pick yourself up

 

[Fighter86]

Ok so I'm really sorry in advance if this becomes very long (which it probably will) I just need to say this in order to feel at least somewhat better. A bunch of things are getting at me lately.

First of all my bestfriend has decided to be a complete b*tch to me. She doesn't understand how hard it is to go to school and just hang out in general when you have SAD. I've tried numerous times to explain it to her and eventually she said "I'm sick of talking about SAD" So clearly she didn't understand anything that I'm going through and even worse then that... she didn't care. A couple of days ago I told her (by texting) that I don't need superficial people in my life and she said what she usually says "Wtf? What's wrong with you??" I hate it when she says that and I had finally had enough so I haven't talked to her for about three or four days now. I don't know if I did the right thing or not because now I feel really lonely... I don't really have any friends now. Katie was my bestfriend and now all I have is my boyfriend.


Don't take that the wrong way I love my boyfriend so much.. more then words can explain, but still it sucks not being able to have my bestfriend anymore. I hate change... it terrifies me and now it seems that I'm standing in the middle of it... meaning that change is constantly surrounding me these days.

It is hard to lose a best friend. Do you have other friends? I have lost a couple of best friends before over the years, it hurt, but in light of the circumstances that surrounded the lost, I didn't think trying to salvage the friendship was going to work. Its better to cut your losses short one short then dragging the thing out. Friendships are a two way street, not only must you be willing to try to make it work, your friend has to as well. One hand can't clap on its own.

I'm supposed to be going to this program called "building bridges" where teens with SAD go for help.. there's even an academic side to it. But I've simply been to anxious to go and now my dads side of the family is starting to figure out that haven't been going to school and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to them. The other day I confessed to my dad and sent him some links about SAD but I don't know... I doubt they'll accept me. My moms side of the family's much more accepting when it comes to this kind of thing.

Do you feel comfortable letting people on your dad's side know the real reason why your not going to school? I was in this same exact situation once, and I DID NOT want people on my dad's side to know the real reason I was not attending school, primarily because we really aren't close, and there's some kind of unspoken bad blood between me and my cousins on that side of the family. Somehow, they did find out eventually, because my mom told them, I was livid to say the least. In anyway, I feel extremely lucky I only have to see them once or twice a year, I didn't even make it to my cousin's wedding (I cited too tired from working to attend).

Christmas is coming up which means I'm going to have to come up with something to say to everyone but I have no idea what to say... I don't feel comfortable with the situation at all.

Would you be staying over or is there like a party or something? Usually when I need to get out of situations like this, I just cite tiredness, and refuse to get out of bed. Really they can't do anything if you pretend sleep and plain refuse to get up. Or you can try the sickness excuse, it works as well.

 

[punklove]

Losing best friends is always tough. If she means that much to you than you shouldn't let her go. Maybe the couple of days you've had apart from each other was a needed break. Perhaps you should just apologize to her and tell her that you're sorry for the text and that if she doesn't want to hear about your struggles with sad than that is fine. Your friend doesn't understand SAD so it is best not to talk to her about it, leave that for this forum and your bf if he doesn't mind hearing it.

As for the cutting, go ahead and cut, just not deep but be aware of the scars you'll keep (poem!). No, but seriously think about it. Urges to cut come but they go away eventually. You need to be pro-active and get rid of your cutting tools because you're less likely to cut if you don't have anything available to cut with.

The thing is I'm ALWAYS the one who apologizes and trys to make things better. I just really want her to take the initiative.

Yeah I really am trying to stop cutting.. I hate the ugly scars they leave behind :/

Thank you for your advice

 

[punklove]

I kinda agree with Rodney, you two probably just need some space. But I dont think its right that she treated you that way. A real friend would have tried to understand and make allowances for you, but if she really does care for you she will come around.

Do you think your dad's side are going to ask you outright? I usually just use the excuse that I've just been stressed out lately....or I have senior-itis and have been too lazy to go to school. Try to use humor to diffuse the situation if youre not comfortable talking about it. Its kinda like a friendly blow off ya know?

as for the cutting. I heard wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it when you feel like cutting helps. And you can do it whenever you want!

hope this helps!

Yeah they probably will ask me infront of everyone (all my other relatives) that's going to suck bit yeah I'll try to make light of my excuse and joke about it.

I'll try the rubber band thing

Thank you xD

 

[punklove]

Well a person without sad will find it difficult to understand the difficulty that ppl with sad have to go through. It's kinda difficult. You and your friend both have a strong point. A compromise should be helpful here. But getting a compromise is equally just as difficult as I suppose.

Yeah there should be some sort of compromise but I really can't think of one

 

[punklove]

aww i FEEL YOU for me thats when s.a started was in high school !! the only way to make it better is by accepting yourself now and learning to not care what other ppl think of you ... with your friend situation if she is a true friend she will come back to you and you guys will work through it at least you have your bf and with the cutting it only makes you feel worse ive done it myself more when I was a little younger the truth is it is temporary relief for your true feelings and problems as is over eating or whatever it is you do when you feel crap so the best thing to do is keep telling yourself its ok and pick yourself up

thank you I will try my best to think positively.

 

[punklove]

It is hard to lose a best friend. Do you have other friends? I have lost a couple of best friends before over the years, it hurt, but in light of the circumstances that surrounded the lost, I didn't think trying to salvage the friendship was going to work. Its better to cut your losses short one short then dragging the thing out. Friendships are a two way street, not only must you be willing to try to make it work, your friend has to as well. One hand can't clap on its own.





Do you feel comfortable letting people on your dad's side know the real reason why your not going to school? I was in this same exact situation once, and I DID NOT want people on my dad's side to know the real reason I was not attending school, primarily because we really aren't close, and there's some kind of unspoken bad blood between me and my cousins on that side of the family. Somehow, they did find out eventually, because my mom told them, I was livid to say the least. In anyway, I feel extremely lucky I only have to see them once or twice a year, I didn't even make it to my cousin's wedding (I cited too tired from working to attend).




Would you be staying over or is there like a party or something? Usually when I need to get out of situations like this, I just cite tiredness, and refuse to get out of bed. Really they can't do anything if you pretend sleep and plain refuse to get up. Or you can try the sickness excuse, it works as well.

No I don't really have any other friends that I hang out with I felt the most comfortable when I was hanging out with Katie (my former bestfriend.)

Sadly I can't get out of going to my grandmas for christmas.. it's not really a party we just hang out at her house (me my cousins my dad stepmom.. etc) and open presents and that's pretty much it.

Thank you for your advice

 

[punklove]

BTW Good news.
Katie (my bestfriend) apologized.. Now everything's ok with her I'm so happy.