Blumentopf
Member
Hi guys :]
I have SA since I was about 14. I usually got little panic attacks when I'm in social situations, avoided get-togethers, and would overthink how I'd come across which made me come off really awkward. My confidence and self-esteem went downhill really fast until I got into depression and feelings of emptiness (which was the worst). I didn't know who I am and what I want. I felt like I had no personality, no identity.
I felt basically hugely depressed, lost, and empty.
At 17, I decided one day after a horrible (and worst) break-down to stop this. I started to read a lot about self-improvement. I worked on my confidence and self-esteem first, because I think it is the fundamental to improve my other issues. I started to run, and challenged myself physically, and pushed myself every time. As soon as I started to see improvement or reached my 'goal', I felt wonderful about it and was proud of myself. It made me feel that I still can make things work. The same thing applies to me playing piano and guitar. I spent alot of time focusing on myself.
As soon as I established some form of self-esteem, I started to ignore/avoid those people who put me down, and hang on to those who support me the most. I would try to be a better person, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend to everyone I care about. Doing that will make you feel muuuch better about yourself because life won't be as pointless anymore. I feel great when I help them and make them happy. I grew so much out of this and got so much back as well.
Also, I put on a "Screw-you-all-if-you-don't-like-me"-attitude. Those people you are afraid of, they don't care about you. So why should you? This is probably the hardest part lol. SA consist of how we care about what people think about us and we build assumptions. I was in High school where the most judgmental people are. I stopped taking rejections too close to heart and would just as I said before focus on myself and build myself up.
Now, the probably most important thing that helped me through this, that motivated me to keep on going was Optimism.
If I wouldnt believe that everything will work out just fine in the end, and that I will find myself and be able to reach my dreams (which are not even that big
), I would never be able to get through this all. I had to have this faith (I'm Atheist, if this makes any difference)
Please don't get me wrong. I definitely didn't have the strength and this mentality consistently! I gave up a lot, and got back to my usual habits.
It took me MONTHS to get where I am right now. I really had to learn how to be patient with this.
So yeah.. to everyone who's trying to get out of SA like me: Don't give up. Keep trying. You gotta find a way to distract yourself, to make you feel better. Try not to care about people who don't care about you. Be optimistic, have dreams that will motivate you. You'll see. EVERYTHING will end up fine. YOU just gotta be the one who wants to change! Take the first steps, slowly, and someday it'll pay off.
I'm 18 now, in a 7 month relationship with a great guy, who finds me cute even though I'm really weird (Jackpot?). I'm still nervous around very self-confident people. I still don't like to go to the gym only because there are so many people I know. But I get very well along with my friends now -the ones that matter and basically saved my life :] . I'm still as awkward around people as I can be, and I'm still quite insecure, but in comparison to my previous years I feel worthy, and have self-esteem.
Well..I hope this helped. Somewhat. To some people. And to those who think I babbled nonsense - everyone has their own way to cope with this issue. I just wanted to share mine and maybe give some people hope.
The still confused, but very optimistic
Blumentopf
I have SA since I was about 14. I usually got little panic attacks when I'm in social situations, avoided get-togethers, and would overthink how I'd come across which made me come off really awkward. My confidence and self-esteem went downhill really fast until I got into depression and feelings of emptiness (which was the worst). I didn't know who I am and what I want. I felt like I had no personality, no identity.
I felt basically hugely depressed, lost, and empty.
At 17, I decided one day after a horrible (and worst) break-down to stop this. I started to read a lot about self-improvement. I worked on my confidence and self-esteem first, because I think it is the fundamental to improve my other issues. I started to run, and challenged myself physically, and pushed myself every time. As soon as I started to see improvement or reached my 'goal', I felt wonderful about it and was proud of myself. It made me feel that I still can make things work. The same thing applies to me playing piano and guitar. I spent alot of time focusing on myself.
As soon as I established some form of self-esteem, I started to ignore/avoid those people who put me down, and hang on to those who support me the most. I would try to be a better person, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend to everyone I care about. Doing that will make you feel muuuch better about yourself because life won't be as pointless anymore. I feel great when I help them and make them happy. I grew so much out of this and got so much back as well.
Also, I put on a "Screw-you-all-if-you-don't-like-me"-attitude. Those people you are afraid of, they don't care about you. So why should you? This is probably the hardest part lol. SA consist of how we care about what people think about us and we build assumptions. I was in High school where the most judgmental people are. I stopped taking rejections too close to heart and would just as I said before focus on myself and build myself up.
Now, the probably most important thing that helped me through this, that motivated me to keep on going was Optimism.
If I wouldnt believe that everything will work out just fine in the end, and that I will find myself and be able to reach my dreams (which are not even that big
), I would never be able to get through this all. I had to have this faith (I'm Atheist, if this makes any difference)Please don't get me wrong. I definitely didn't have the strength and this mentality consistently! I gave up a lot, and got back to my usual habits.
It took me MONTHS to get where I am right now. I really had to learn how to be patient with this.
So yeah.. to everyone who's trying to get out of SA like me: Don't give up. Keep trying. You gotta find a way to distract yourself, to make you feel better. Try not to care about people who don't care about you. Be optimistic, have dreams that will motivate you. You'll see. EVERYTHING will end up fine. YOU just gotta be the one who wants to change! Take the first steps, slowly, and someday it'll pay off.
I'm 18 now, in a 7 month relationship with a great guy, who finds me cute even though I'm really weird (Jackpot?
). I'm still nervous around very self-confident people. I still don't like to go to the gym only because there are so many people I know. But I get very well along with my friends now -the ones that matter and basically saved my life :] . I'm still as awkward around people as I can be, and I'm still quite insecure, but in comparison to my previous years I feel worthy, and have self-esteem.Well..I hope this helped. Somewhat. To some people. And to those who think I babbled nonsense - everyone has their own way to cope with this issue. I just wanted to share mine and maybe give some people hope.
The still confused, but very optimistic
Blumentopf
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