My main mission: becoming a more neat and organised person

[gustavofring]

I believe my slob-existence is one of the things I need to STOP in order to come out of depression.

Too long I've looked at vague existentional questions as the root of my, what you could call, depression. Is it motivation? Is it that I don't care for myself? Insecurity?

Or is it simply my bad organisational skills? The fact that I'm NOT a neat person? Maybe these things literally keep me stuck in a mess.

When I look at normal functioning people, I think they generally have their stuff in order. They fold their clothes, they keep track of their mail, take care of their finances, they keep their room clean, they make sure they keep in touch with people, etc. They make sure their lives are more streamlined and organised.

If I could change these, I feel my life will drastically improve. Of course it also starts with love and apreciation of myself, hope, deserving better and all that vague floaty stuff but I tend to forget the practical realm. I think this mainly stems from the fact that my parents died at an early age and nobody really learned me how to take care of my stuff. Nobody has really kept me in check.

Are you guys neat people or slobs? I know some of the people on this forum are quite well organised and employed people, but they've just got social anxiety. With me, the anxiety, insecurities, etc. probably stems from my slob-ness and the fact that I've made such a mess of my life.

 

[Hoppy]

I wrote this elsewhere, and since I'm too lazy to retype it, I quote it here.

I am a slob. I would like to say I hate cleaning up but my mind for some strange reason doesn't see clutter and dirtiness very well, so eventually by the time I realise the place is a mess, it has gone beyond bad. So I lived like that for too many years, leaving it like it is because cleaning up is such a big job that I just cannot get time to do anything.

A few years ago during one of my bright and enthusiastic periods I went online for ideas and found Flylady.net. And I found a lot of good ideas there, but as part of my procrastinating strategy of life I chose only one. I bought a kitchen timer, set it for 15 minutes and every evening after getting out of bath I cleaned my living spaces for 15 minutes and 15 minutes only.

In the beginning it felt absolutely hopeless, since the mess was very bad, but after a few weeks/months things has improved a lot. Eventually I reached the point that it was difficult to find things to do to fill up the 15 minutes, so I started dusting in strange corners just to fill up the time. Tonight for instance I put some books away, sorted my hanging clothes, dusted my shoe shelf and put some books in order.

It is an amazing feeling to sit on the bed and look around and see nothing dirty or out of its place, and it never took more than 15 minutes a day.

For my paperwork I have used the book Getting things Done by David Allen. At first it freaked me out, but I've downsized it for my own requirements, and has helped me a lot with my admin and while it will never be as good as my housekeeping it is at least manageable. It also helped me at work, my desk is only half cluttered.

One of the tips of keeping these cleaning tasks from exploding again is the one minute principle: Any task that will take less than one minute to accomplish has to be done immediately. A minute is a long time, it is amazing how much clothes you can fold in that time.

Try it, only 15 minutes at a time.

 

[Rawz]

I think the best thing to do is to work at keeping things clean so that they aren't cluttered in the first place and/or clean as you go. Cleaning for anywhere from 15 seconds to 60 seconds here and there might be easier to do than cleaning for 10 minutes at the end of the day. But everything is easier said than done.

I'm not too bad of a slob anymore really; the main problem I have these days is not taking my plates, cups, silverware and unfinished food from my bedroom to the kitchen. So sometimes some things stay in my room long enough to get a little bit moldy. I am better than I used to be about these things, and if it gets bad I clean it up well.

I think the biggest reason my room, and other areas, stay less cluttered than they used to is that I don't have very many things anymore. I'm not a kid anymore so I don't have many toys. I don't have a huge collection of books, CDs, movies, or video games, so what I have I can keep in drawers or the closet. Since my parents have an unfinished basement I can store stuff down there too. I will probably get rid of more things, or let my mom keep them, when I move out. Most of what I want to keep can be stored in drawers or on my computer.

After seeing this topic I decided to clean my room.

 

[gustavofring]

Yeah, but with me it's not only things like not keeping my room clean or washing the dishes. The problem literally flows over into every aspect of my life.

I'm a master procrastinator and chaos-creator in everything. I have zero self-control or discipline. I stay up late and get out of bed at ridiculous times. I have made an absolute mess of my school.

The pile of work that needs to be done is immense. I can't seem to concentrate day by day because it seems like such a cluster****, and the shame, guilt, anxiety and lack of routine has crippled me.

I will definately read that book, Hoppy, I downloaded it when you first mentioned it (I think also in a reply to a post of mine), but it's probably better to get it in book form. Thanks.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I am a slob, for the most part. I feel much better when things are organized. I recently cleaned my house briefly and it made a difference in the way I felt.
I think the main reason for my inability to organize things is because of my parents (I've mentioned several times on this forum that they are hoarders). Something I like about cleaning is that it is something you can see improving. My anxiety is not a tangible, visible thing, but if I clean a room, it's obvious, and gives me a sense of accomplishment.

 

[1BlackSheep]

Yeah, but with me it's not only things like not keeping my room clean or washing the dishes. The problem literally flows over into every aspect of my life.

I'm a master procrastinator and chaos-creator in everything. I have zero self-control or discipline. I stay up late and get out of bed at ridiculous times. I have made an absolute mess of my school.

The pile of work that needs to be done is immense. I can't seem to concentrate day by day because it seems like such a cluster****, and the shame, guilt, anxiety and lack of routine has crippled me.

I will definately read that book, Hoppy, I downloaded it when you first mentioned it (I think also in a reply to a post of mine), but it's probably better to get it in book form. Thanks.

I'm unfortunately a lot like you and I think it does negatively affect my life. The odd thing is that I'm very neat and organized at work, but maybe that's because it's a small space - lol! I really need to follow Hoppy's advice on doing the 15 minutes a day!

 

[hidwell]

I have always been tidy, don't like mess. A bonus with the anxiety.

 

[gustavofring]

I'm unfortunately a lot like you and I think it does negatively affect my life. The odd thing is that I'm very neat and organized at work, but maybe that's because it's a small space - lol! I really need to follow Hoppy's advice on doing the 15 minutes a day!

Or maybe because you don't want to be known as a slob at work or you don't want to be fired? ::

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I've been told by multiple therapists that a messy bedroom/apartment/house is a reflection of it's owner's mental state.
If it is in chaos, cluttered, filthy-- so is the inside of that person.
The first step to feeling better about yourself and less stressed about the mess you live in is to clean it up.

My room and my apartments are always well organized and tidy.
I clean often.
It hasn't really helped me feel less stressed or depressed or agoraphobic, though.

 

[Lea]

I can´t stand dirt, so my place is kept clean. I don´t understand people who leave dirty dishes in their room, I have to wash them straight away when I finish and tidy the kitchen, couldn´t stand having dirty dishes lying around. I think it is good to keep cleanliness but in my case I guess there is a bit disease in it (OCD). I still can´t believe I was so different as a child. I wasn´t concerned about dirt at all, or like any other people.. Now as I see dirt everywhere, it is very difficult to keep relaxed, I still worry about things that normal people don´t, worry to touch things, sit on a chair or a sofa in case it is dirty.. besides wash my hands all the time. I don´t know why I became like this, I still think cleanliness is a good thing, but one shouldn´t constantly suffer because of it. I even began to shower twice a day, wash hair nearly every day, wear clothes only once and then I have to wash them.. crazy, crazy.

 

[Hoppy]

You don't have to worry about the book so much, but I would recommend starting with the 15 minutes thing. If you cannot manage that the book/ any book is going to be useless.

I am slowly coming to realize that the important thing in any sort of project, cleaning, fitness, studying, is to do it and do it regular. The emotional benefit you get from the self discipline is a good by-product of the effort. Even the cold shower benefit mentioned earlier isn't because of the shower as such, but the pride in being able to say "I do it every day."

The pile of work that needs to be done is immense. I can't seem to concentrate day by day because it seems like such a cluster****, and the shame, guilt, anxiety and lack of routine has crippled me.

A consultant once said she get paid a lot of money for nothing. For every visit, all she asked was "What is wrong?", and then she listens to them telling her what is wrong, and quite often the solutions as well.

And I think you know what is wrong, and that you know what the solutions are.

 

[gustavofring]

I do know the answers reside inside me.

I just don't...get anything done.

I work in circles and give up easily. Don't have a lot of patience or ability to concentrate. Generally my discipline is sucky. I write goals down, but forget about them.

It's like the only times I get things done is out of absolute necessity. Downing gallons of coffee and working through the night often.

Maybe a deeper problem like ADD is going on here.

 

[Hoppy]

That is why the timer works for me.

Nice big numbers counting down, and after 15 minutes the alarm goes. If needed I can restart it. ( I never do. )

 

[gustavofring]

I'll try it. I'll buy an egg-timer.

I usually try that on my computer, but yeah...Computer + me = procrastination, numerous screens, etc.

Something tangible in real life may work better.