My Life is a BIG JOKE..

BlueRose

BlueRose

Active member
I'm suffering from depression because of my life experience I had in the past that was so pathetic. I've been through so many crises with my family & the people outside, I was always picked on at school,
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I got hit by my parents a lot even as an adult.

I've been bckstabbed by people who I thought where my friends,
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I never even experience a sexual relationship because I always get rejected ever since High School.
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Occasionaly I have suicidal thoughts. I've been through therapists but most of them SUCKED! I wake up every morning asking myself If I deserve to be alive..

Because of this I've become a bitter person, I ignore people or curse them out if they get on my nerves, I have a bitter attitude, I'm not a friendly person because of this BS Ive been through in my life.

People in this world can be so cruel, that's why I feel so much like hell. I'm really suffering..
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Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
I wish i knew what to say but i really dont,any advice i could give you..you probaly already know yourself,or it would seem cheesy and fake.I hope you can hang on in there and that things turn around for you sometime soon.

Sorry for the short message but again i dont really know what to say!
 
BlaiseBLATES

BlaiseBLATES

Well-known member
Gosh, you really have been through alot. Don't worry about those bullies! they're NOTHING. You're a good person. You've realised you have made mistakes...But as you've also pointed out so do others :). You're only human. Everything will pick its self up, dont give up on life just yet :). You deserve a life more than anyone.
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
Catfish

Yeah, same thing those two said. I know it it doesn't help feeling sorry for yourself, but I don't think that is what you were doing right here, so don't worry about that. Don't really know what to say either, as there isn't much to say, but hope everything will turn out eventually. I think you are someone who used to come here too?
 
Morgan01

Morgan01

Well-known member
I used to be like that sorta I used to be really angry at everyone because of stuff Id been through. Then one day I just did a total 180, I started to think wow all these people that I am getting mad I am putting them through what I went through and I don't want that, and I realized I don't know peoples motivation forhow they act so I try to not get mad at people for it.
As for therapists you really have to keep trying I have had tons and hates most of them and now finally found a really amazing one.
hard times only make us stronger, I'm sure you've heard it a million times but it's pretty much the only thing to say. And thinking everything happens for a reason, just try to think about that stuff. A lot of times I think man I wish things could have been easier for me but I wouldn't have most of the things about my life that I love today if those things wouldn't have happened.
: )
hope.
 
BeachGaBulldog

BeachGaBulldog

Active member
Blue Rose, I felt like I was reading my own life experience because yours is an exact carbon copy of mine.
I was physically and verbally abused at home, bullied in high school(which to this day I still have nightmares about, and I am 49 years old), and bullied in my neighborhood. Also, people who I thought were my friends stabbed me in the back, my dating life has been a joke. I have had some relationships but its just too stressful. So, I am retired from that.
My trust factor went down more and more over the years to where I haven't trusted people for a long time because they have never given me a reason to.
I have a lot of anger inside of me. And yes I like the first poster really don't need to hear "you are feeling sorry for yourself". And yes, I know that there are people in the world a lot worse off than I am, but EVERYONES PROBLEMS are important.
 
WastedPotential

WastedPotential

Well-known member
BlueRose said:
Because of this I've become a bitter person, I ignore people or curse them out if they get on my nerves, I have a bitter attitude, I'm not a friendly person because of this BS Ive been through in my life.
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now now, that's no way to go about it...

you'll only distance yourself further with that attitude.
 
M

MadCat

Well-known member
The way I see it, BlueRose, if a messed up guy like me can managed to get close to someone, that isn't even supposed to be able to be close in any shape or form to other people, with 1 Cluster A, and 2 Cluster C personality disorders mixed all into one, with all sorts of additional things wrong with me....Well, the thing is BlueRose much of the feelings you have are obviously a natural reaction to the way you've been treated.

For years I tried to understand why I was so fearful of people, why they made me so angry and the reason behind it. In the end to defend ourselves from hurt we begin to start finding out ways to blame the world and everyone else, not ourselves. The truth I've come to learn, it's not pretty. Earlier in 2005 I left SPW because I felt everyone was against me some how, and it hurt.

I did break the barrier and I did find love, even though it turned out to be one sided. Now that it's over, I have come back to SPW, trying to reach out. I'm honestly worried about you BlueRose, because I don't want you to turn out like me, completely alienating yourself from the real world and just avoiding every situation where you think the bad people exist, which will just be very negative if left for a long time, because you'll start to label pretty much everyone with the same brush.

Anyway, I share some of the experiences. I was abused as a child, a teen, and an adult by one of my parents, and abused by several over people. Abandoned by my sister at a critical time. Life can be so tough, but whatever you do, just hold on. Even though it feels grim, I know so well, just remember bitterness will set you down a road of hate very fast, and you'll turn out an empty soul like myself.

For me the people on SPW give me some form of relief because I know a lot of people here still have a chance to improve and better their lives, even though I went past that line about 10 years ago.
 
G

gio289

1
BlueRose said:
RIGHT; LIKE I GIVE A CRAP..
Anymore critisisms you like to feed me? You're only getting close to being added on my ignore list.. :mad:
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Damn man, u dont have to be so shitty to people. Everyone is just trying to help thats all. if u didnt want anyone's input then u shudnt have started the thread. We all have problems man, thats why we are here...
 
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