My job is damaging my well-being and I want to quit.

[anonanon1987]

Hey everyone,

Basically, I work a part-time retail job, and it's problematic for a number of reasons. Firstly, I really struggle to interact with the public. Since I work on a cash register, it's the main thing I have to do, and it causes me such anxiety that I experience tension headaches every day and the job totally exhausts me physically and emotionally. I believe that I suffer from avoidant personality disorder, though I haven't been diagnosed, and yeah, having to interact with the public makes me into a messy bundle of awkwardness, and my awareness of how I must seem makes me feel stupider and behave even more awkwardly.

Secondly, two of my managers behave in terrible ways. To give one example, a few weeks ago, the store manager took our seats away for five days because apparently having seats was making us lazy. According to the Health and Safety Executive, "If work can or must be done sitting, seats which are suitable for the people using them and for the work they do should be provided." For five days, my employers broke the law and last week the store manager complained about the seats again and said it was "wrong" that we had them. A few months ago, the security manager accused me of taking cash register keys home with me despite me stating that I hadn't taken them home. When I produced the keys shortly afterwards, he accused me of taking them home either accidentally or deliberately, and then bringing them back the next day and pretending that I hadn't taken them home at all. He unfairly sided with the person that gave me the keys, and his accusations were baseless and completely untrue. These are just two examples. The store manager is frequently verbally abusive (he has made some members of staff cry), and the security manager is frequently condescending.

All of which is to say that I can't take it anymore. I graduated from university during the summer, and I have some savings. I have wanted to quit for months, but the behaviour of the store manager, and to a lesser extent the security manager, and the basic requirements of the job, have made me realise that I need to quit for the sake of my well-being. And I want to do it as soon as possible. I have a week off right now, and I'm meant to be going back on Monday. I'm meant to give notice of two weeks, but I really want to quit with immediate effect. Basically, what should I do? Should I write a letter of resignation, explaining that I want to quit with immediate effect owing to anxiety-related problems, and maybe referencing the behaviour of the store manager and security manager? Or should I give notice of two weeks and try to get through the next two weeks as best I can?

 

[MikeyC]

That's really up to you about what you want to do. If you want to take the complaints against your store manager higher, quit immediately. It sounds like you're being unfairly treated and they're probably breaking some laws from the way they're acting.

Your anxiety probably doesn't mean you're keen on taking your complaints further, but if they're really causing so much stress and trouble to you and your colleagues, it's probably the best thing.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

 

[Necrucifer]

I have had a couple cases of work harassment at my only 2 jobs I had as well soley based on me that were never dealt with even though I followed everything to exact detail of how and when I did it on time every night and tried to fight it back etc.

I quit but dont do that try to at least find another job and put in a notice or at least try to talk to someone higher that may or may not do something and if they dont either get proof of breaking the policy and burn there asses or best be find another job because most places it seems your gonna get screwed no matter what sadly.

 

[starbox]

hmmm...we're in a recession & I guess it's the same in your area. Sometimes in life if we just do what we want it can be 'cutting off your nose to spite your face' and while your unpleasant colleagues remain solvent, you'll be stuck at home penniless, and unable to get a good reference for future jobs if you just walk out. The issue with chairs being removed seems a bit meaningless as all cashiers were treated the same and life's like that (I stand up for 8 hr shifts and I'm nearly 50!). It's wrong that you were falsely accused without proof and you could make a complaint about that. Working with people you dont like is HELLISHLY taxing...when I 'escape' I find myself muttering 'I've done it, I've done it' under my breath. But tho I dont want to go back, I need a certain amount of £ to make life worth living. Can you do p/t hours and stick it out while you look for something else? Just take it one day at a time, tell yourself 'I'll just get thru today without quitting'. If your social anxiety is particularly bad, could you be diagnosed officially and claim any state benefit? Believe me, you are NOT alone. I find my job (retail) hard because of the staff not customer interaction. Most of them dont tell me anything, see me as a thing apart. I just tell myself my life starts when I'm out of there, I remind myself that I find most colleagues pretty uneducated & shallow and would honestly hate to hang out with them even if invited! Good luck x

 

[R3K]

yeah i work retail too as a cashier and stocker (not stalker). we aslo have the awesome little thrifty ice cream counter built into our store so i spend about 75% of my shift mindlessly scooping ice cream with minimal customer interaction.

but i do cashier a lot also, and i feel your pain and struggle. my company has recently launched this elaborate customer interaction program with neat little acronyms to "help" us get more "engaged" socially with the customers and we had little meetings on it and everything. i'm supposed to blurt out a welcome greeting to every single customer who enters the store even if i'm in mid-transaction with the person in front of me, counting out their change or entering their club card phone number...

it's freakin R-tard nation. i hate it to death and only shout welcomes (you literally have to shout or they don't hear you cause the door is like 20 feet away and they enter facing the other direction) to about one in 20 CX's. it causes a small to moderate anxiety attack every time a customer walks in--the resultant stress is crippling...

BUT, i know it's my boss's duty to enforce these grievous social programs with our CX's cause the corporate ppl send tester customers in to make sure we're doing it. and if we're not screaming welcome lines to every single customer then we fail and my boss gets fired and probably most of his underlings too.

my company barely survived the initial aftermath of the current recession here in the US, and the corporate folks are slashing costs and firing any and everyone they can to save $. me and my coworkers know well that we're walking a fine line... if we forget to tape a receipt to our sodie-pop in the breakroom the roving security/loss prevention guy will zip in and use that as evidence to claim we're stealing then *bam* terminated just like that.

there's a few of us who have social phobia at my job to some degree, and i think one of them is in the process of being fired for not showing up to work and calling in without notes or compelling reasons. i imagine his inability to stick up for himself and seek the means to protect his faltering position is caused by SA. it's tragic, i find myself empathizing with his plight every day, even while thinking in the back of my mind 'better him than me.'

if i was you i'd not stress out over the security/loss prevention guy's fiddlings. i've talked with a lot of those guys and know a little bit about what they do and how they do it. the little key misplacement issue you're dealing with is probably nothing compared to what he's catching other employees doing. it's a perfectly honest mistake. he's just using fear tactics to make you say something incriminating (taking advantage of your avpd/SA in the process.) ultimately he's a tool to the greater corporation you guys work for, just like your store manager (and mine.) if your company is suffering from any of the recession strife then they're probably looking for any reason to slash anyone who isn't a mindless low-cost tool. protect your job and your reliability--it will reflect on future job applications. if you leave your current job then do it in a positive light with the two weeks notice so your next employer can call your current and hear nothing but good sh*t about you.

sorry for the novel, i was trying to sleep but couldn't... now it's 6:22 AM and i'm rambling once again. peace for now.

 

[takethislife]

Nowadays having a job is a luxury, at least where I come from but if you have any other options, get out of there. And what's with that letter of resignation and explaining yourself, can't you just say 'f**k you I quit'?

 

[anonanon1987]

Hey everyone,

Thank you so much for giving me the advice and support that you did. I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do, but I feel that the different perspectives you shared, will help me make an informed decision, and yeah, I'm really grateful.

 

[Yes We Can]

Would there be any way of getting fired and receive unemployment benefits? if so, that may be the way to go.. then you could hold on to your savings and receive a check. If you're not sure, try to find out. Then, if you are able... see if you can learn a skill, if you don't already have one, that you can possibly do from home to earn some extra income. Hopefully things work out for you, I've had to deal with bosses like that in the past. Good luck, I wish you the best.

 

[Lea]

From my experience, whenever I was in a case like this and thought about quitting, I didn´t have to do anything as my employers fired me themselves very soon anyway.

 

[mcpon]

I would give the 2 weeks notice as in some states if you quit on the spot you cannot use them as a reference. And I'm a security guard. I think that security's mentality is to deter you from doing anything wrong by getting you to be aware of not even doing anything suspicious by letting you know that that is the type of treatment you'll get if he even suspects something.