My head feels like a circus....

[dannyboy65]

I never wanted to need my pills... It's been 2 weeks that I haven't taken them because I ran out. I've called my doctor for 2 weeks and they still haven't called back. My mind is never quiet, it's been quiet for months. Now the voices are back in my head. I blank out all of the time now, I'm depressed and lonely. I was so positive for so long and I've been doing so good. For a while I forgot about my schizophrenia. For the longest time if I felt an emotion I would get over it in about a day. Now I'm haunted by everything and it's been like this for a while now.

I don't want to sound like I rely on my pills. I know they aren't the cure. I've been taking them though so I don't hear these voices, or see things that aren't there. I don't want to have bad thoughts. I keep telling myself I can get through this and I know I can. The end line seems so far away.

My question is why is someone like me with these terrible mental illness's ignored for 2 weeks by the doctor. I knew mental illness wasn't seen as a big deal where I live, but this is pathetic. I need my medication to help me sleep and keep an appetite, you know just fight the physical symptoms of mental illness. I don't have an appetite anymore, I also barely sleep now.

I can't change my doctor either because like I said before mental health is not a big concern where I live although a lot of the population deals with it. The doctor I have is pretty much the only one, and he's a giant **** to me.

I don't know anymore... Thanks for reading I guess...

 

[zharl]

I'm sorry to hear that. Things seemed to be going so well for you.

 

[fate12321]

Hope you get better soon. I can't help much. Try meditation or or drinking tea? I doubt any of that will help, but just hang in there.

 

[grapevine]

Take care. I would go to emergency or somewhere where they are more likely to listen to you and give you what you need earlier. Maybe its your doctor, maybe you could see another one at short notice just to get your prescription? I think its just the medical industry, its hard to fit everyone in maybe?

I have found that taking 2 ibuprofens helps me sleep and calm down a bit. They make me drowsy. Especially helpful after a long hot shower and laying in bed with a hot water bottle for comfort. And also maybe some calming music- something that might drown out the voices and stuff.

Just take of yourself. Give yourself compassion even when you feel this way.

 

[arjuna]

I don't want to have bad thoughts.

Have you tried monitoring your thoughts rather than suppressing them. Close your eyes and imagine that you can see a screen where all your thoughts appear. When you get a thought that makes you feel bad, observe it. Feel the emotion and wait for another thought to come.