Hi all,
I've been reading posts on this website for awhile now and last night I registered to share my story and experiences. I’ve been in denial.
I have been suffering this dam disorder for years. Pretty much most of my adult life (I'm now 37yrs). At first and until a couple of years back I didn't even know I had a disorder. I just thought I'm different to most, I’m anti-social and just generally uncomfortable with people. In a way, I was relieved to find out it is a disorder. It means there is a healing process... there has to be right?!
I have pretty much pushed away most of my friends by saying 'no' when asked to do something otherwise making excuses to 'not be able to make it' last minute. People rarely include me anymore. A lot of times I wish I could just say what my problem is to them but as you all know it’s not that easy.
I spend a lot of time by myself, my job allows me. I don’t see customers and I only work with 2 others (both family). Work calls are usually for them so I don’t even speak much to people during working days. It isn’t a very busy pace so I get a lot of time stewing on my “illness” which is a very bad thing. I feel like I’m drowning in my pathetic self! This situation also means I'm not meeting anyone new and therefore always alone and in my comfort zone. I feel at ease but as you know not very good for getting better.
My free time is spent mainly at home or at the gym. Again, both places are my comfort zones and little interaction is required. I have a family – wife and 2 beautiful young girls. One just started school the other a baby still. Sometimes they are the only people I interact with for weeks if there are no family/friends engagements planned. The friends are my wife’s friends, mine too but remember what I said earlier.
I have absolutely no problems communicating and interacting online though. It’s safe cause I don’t see anyone. Look at me posting this long thread! I am starting to resent doing this too casue I feel it isn’t real, there’s no personal contact. As some of you are too, I’m a member of so many different forums.
My wife is the exact opposite. She is the most social person I know. She loves people. Her family are also like that.
There are lots and lots of things I hate about having this dam issue. But what I hate most about having AvPD is seeing others genuinely excited about social events, I would love to feel like that. I only get anxiety and my avoidance personality kicks in then I start to dread and worry about it until the event comes round which I’ll probably just somehow not be able to make it.
It’s so tiring being like this.
By the way, I’ve just seen a GP, he gave me a Mental Health Care Plan. It is a referral to see a psychologist and the gov chips in a little towards the bill. Now to find a good psychologist. Any tips on finding one? I also have to read more here on which technique to try with the psyc. Any comments are more than welcomed.
I could keep going for ages!! Hope to chat again soon (online only though )
I've been reading posts on this website for awhile now and last night I registered to share my story and experiences. I’ve been in denial.
I have been suffering this dam disorder for years. Pretty much most of my adult life (I'm now 37yrs). At first and until a couple of years back I didn't even know I had a disorder. I just thought I'm different to most, I’m anti-social and just generally uncomfortable with people. In a way, I was relieved to find out it is a disorder. It means there is a healing process... there has to be right?!
I have pretty much pushed away most of my friends by saying 'no' when asked to do something otherwise making excuses to 'not be able to make it' last minute. People rarely include me anymore. A lot of times I wish I could just say what my problem is to them but as you all know it’s not that easy.
I spend a lot of time by myself, my job allows me. I don’t see customers and I only work with 2 others (both family). Work calls are usually for them so I don’t even speak much to people during working days. It isn’t a very busy pace so I get a lot of time stewing on my “illness” which is a very bad thing. I feel like I’m drowning in my pathetic self! This situation also means I'm not meeting anyone new and therefore always alone and in my comfort zone. I feel at ease but as you know not very good for getting better.
My free time is spent mainly at home or at the gym. Again, both places are my comfort zones and little interaction is required. I have a family – wife and 2 beautiful young girls. One just started school the other a baby still. Sometimes they are the only people I interact with for weeks if there are no family/friends engagements planned. The friends are my wife’s friends, mine too but remember what I said earlier.
I have absolutely no problems communicating and interacting online though. It’s safe cause I don’t see anyone. Look at me posting this long thread! I am starting to resent doing this too casue I feel it isn’t real, there’s no personal contact. As some of you are too, I’m a member of so many different forums.
My wife is the exact opposite. She is the most social person I know. She loves people. Her family are also like that.
There are lots and lots of things I hate about having this dam issue. But what I hate most about having AvPD is seeing others genuinely excited about social events, I would love to feel like that. I only get anxiety and my avoidance personality kicks in then I start to dread and worry about it until the event comes round which I’ll probably just somehow not be able to make it.
It’s so tiring being like this.
By the way, I’ve just seen a GP, he gave me a Mental Health Care Plan. It is a referral to see a psychologist and the gov chips in a little towards the bill. Now to find a good psychologist. Any tips on finding one? I also have to read more here on which technique to try with the psyc. Any comments are more than welcomed.
I could keep going for ages!! Hope to chat again soon (online only though )
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