Motivation

[deadend]

I seemingly have no desire to do much of anything. While depression is no doubt a problem, I find it to be somewhat of a separate issue. Even if social phobia and depression was cut out of the equation, I would still anticipate stumbling around with no desire or direction.

Most of my free time is spent in my room on the computer or staring at the walls. Once in a while I'll go walking around outside just to get out of the house. But it's more than just indifference as it relates to recreational activities, it's an obstacle to engaging life. What does one do without drive, goals, or passion? I don't want a bunch of stuff, I don't want to have a family, I don't want a career (just need to pay the bills) - you get the idea.

What do you do to motivate yourself - or better yet, where do you find it?

 

[simpsons2007]

I wish I could help you with this one deadend, but I'm in the same boat as you I have zero motivation myself and with no one around to motivate me anymore.

But a while back I had a support worker I saw once a week who was good at motivating me. He would set me little achievable goals to do each week and every time I saw him he would ask how I got on and if I didn't manage to complete them all he said not to blame myself for failing the goals and he would just set me a few less to do for the next time.

But then the government made some cuts and I don't see the support worker anymore. I was getting help from him for 18 months and I was only just starting to open up a bit to him about my probs. Now I back to where I started spending half the day in bed and the other half watching cr*p on TV and going on computer.

 

[deadend]

If you don't mind me asking, what were some of the goals your support worker set for you? What made you want to achieve them at all?

 

[deadend]

Well it's probably best for us non-motivated folks to stay away from kids anyways. You have to be a motivated person to care for a child.

Very seldom I'll generate some kind of inspiration out of seemingly nowhere (where something just "clicks"), but even when I do it fades away quickly.

 

[userremoved]

Family and my therapist keep telling me that things will get better. I know they have no way of really knowing that, but it's really all I've got to motivate me into even bothering. Also life is painfully long and slow. I don't think I could bear being this way into my 50s or 60s. I have made some progress though, it's little but I guess if I did that maybe I can do more. At one time I couldnt pass people in hallways or look them in the eyes. I would also get incredibly tense just walking through a store like Walmart and felt everyone was staring or laughing at me. Those aren't really problems anymore.

As for goals, I'm just trying to get through school, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm just hoping I can find something in life I can do that will make it feel like all of this wasn't one big waste.

 

[simpsons2007]

If you don't mind me asking, what were some of the goals your support worker set for you? What made you want to achieve them at all?

Because he said (in a nice way) that he cant make me get better because the only person that can make me get better is myself and that he would be there to help and support me to get where I wanted to be. And at the time I was seeing him I did want to get better because I hated where my life was going. But since then other things have happened which has put me back to where I just don't care anymore.

Most of what he set me was day to day stuff which I had stopped doing. The small things he suggested where:

Set alarm in for 9am (because I would spend all day in bed til lunch)
Do some house work for an hr (wash dishes, hovering)
Go out for a walk for half hr (because I have agoraphobia)
Do something you enjoy doing (for me it was drawing photography read a book)
Do some gardening for half hr. and similar things like that.


Just try and set yourself small goals, things that you used to do before you lost your motivation which you don't do now. It might work for you it might not but its worth a try. Just don't get too disappointed if you don't do it all. Try and reward yourself for doing it by doing something that you enjoy doing that way it will hopefully make you feel like you've achieved something and give you a bit of a boost. Which we all need now and then.

 

[deadend]

Just try and set yourself small goals, things that you used to do before you lost your motivation which you don't do now. It might work for you it might not but its worth a try. Just don't get too disappointed if you don't do it all. Try and reward yourself for doing it by doing something that you enjoy doing that way it will hopefully make you feel like you've achieved something and give you a bit of a boost. Which we all need now and then.

Wish I could say I lost my motivation, but I think it's closer to say I never had it to begin with.

On one hand, I'll be thinking that I'm wasting my time, like I need to get a fire going underneath me. But on the other hand, I feel as though it doesn't really matter and that it's all the same - whatever we do is just to pass the time. With the latter, any and all goals no matter how small and achievable they are, seem to be unimportant and useless. I could go dance a jig or I could stay in my room on the computer, what difference would it make?

Bleh.

 

[deadend]

Latte

That's the craziest idea I've ever heard. You crazy mofo you. ::

Don't think I could just quit cold turkey. I might try to limit my time in front of the screen and see where that goes. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[worrywort]

What do you do to motivate yourself - or better yet, where do you find it?

Faith or belief in something greater than yourself. Perhaps something to help mankind or your fellow human beings, or being a part of a greater cause, or trying to leave a legacy.

I also find that you can trick your brain into producing motivated feelings by just focusing your thoughts on motivation. If you tell yourself enough times that you care deeply and passionately about something, you'll eventually become deeply passionate about it. But go careful not to lie. You shouldn't need to lie to yourself. It's just about seeing the world from a different perspective.

 

[caringsoul]

there is that road that i can take that i know can lead to happiness ... and i know that if i take that route i will be happy because i will be doing the right thing and doing the right thing always makes me feel happy.

but i am not walking that path, i keep telling myself i will.. but i dont, and the more i spent wasting time, the more guilty i feel, which adds to depression. the thought of changing when i know what to do, always brings a feeling of joy to me. I just have to stop whatever im doing and take that new road of life.

its just a matter of fact of doing it, im gonna.. is what i end up saying to myself, and look at me, 3 years later.. im saying the same thing again.. im gonna..

no one should end up like me.. be a do'er

 

[mikebird]

My motivation is huge, and crucial.

Relationships and shyness aside, although important factors,

I am deeply rooted in accomplishment and success. It's a killer with no clear reason or answer to this, but each day that goes past makes things harder when I put everything I've got into getting into work with my knowledge, skills & experience, the employers are simply looking for the premium best of the best of the best candidate with a pristine 24/7 employment history, and our country is painfully held back by a 50% portion of worker validity requiring security clearance and much, much more deeper levels of that, starting with a British passport, heritage, birth certificate, no long-term of living anywhere abroad, criminal background, armed forces or Ministry of Defence service... James Bond credentials... just for a simple desk job. I apply for these things all the time, because 1. my ability is more than enough for what they need, and 2. every bit of my history and British citizenness is clean and perfect! But ANYONE else will get in there, as I'm told with get in there before me, quicker, obviously, because they had MoD service... and it makes good logical sense, but the laws seriously do not. The country and its government are childishly paranoid, with no grasp of what's in the real world.

Examples of attempted jobs are with the EADS Astrium European Space Agency, chasing NASA, GCHQ, and even educational organisations, other than schools, whose default setting seem to be that if anything other than 100% evidence of a British family, and what and where a person has done or been throughout their life, would mark a person as a... what's that word..? pae**phile... and from what I've been told, mainly about terrorism

A lot to do with the Olympics, these days, by the way. Sad people. Get the heads outta the sand

This really is all my pure truth, and all on my experience of what holds me back, and why. Life = luck + (not much weight on effort made)

This is where my motivation is very strong, but is slightly decreased at times

 

[Kiwong]

I guess my motivation is the sense of achievment I feel from all the hard work I put in . All the doubts get washed away, and I live in the moment, and it feels like heaven. I'm talkin about why I run up to 80km a week and race half marathons.

 

[NickyNacker]

I have the same exact problem so I can't give advice on it really. I just wonder where other people get the drive to do things. I literally have no desire to do anything with my life. And idk why

 

[Fletchworth]

Here's what you need to do.

Try something new. Take a class. Get a new job. Meet new people. Get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Get married. Have an affair. Get a divorce. Attempt suicide. Fail. Quit your job. Try something else new. Get a new job. Meet more new people. Get another girlfriend/boyfriend who is nothing like your previous. Get married. Have an affair. Don't get caught. Admit the truth. Get a divorce. Attempt suicide again. Fail again. Try something new again. Meet even more new people. Patch things up with your first spouse. Get married. Be faithful. Attempt suicide. Fail, yet again. Have kids. Attempt suicide. Succeed.