this_portrait
Well-known member
Lately I've been wondering if I have more than just severe social anxiety. Obviously, I tend to isolate myself and get nervous in social situations (which leads me to avoid them altogether sometimes). I've had trouble with even basic interactions and my social anxiety has even severed relationships (platonic and romantic). Many failed social situations and my own over-thinking have caused me to feel depressed at one time or another. I have a lot of the symptoms and they show, but there's one thing that makes me question if there's more than meets the eye.
And that something is the mood swings I tend to have. Or, the mood swings I used to have before I went on Prozac. I tended to have "freak-outs" where I would fly into a rage, and then I'd become depressed afterward, feeling guilty for acting the way I did. Most of the time I would have these freak-outs around my family or sometimes close friends. If someone irritated me at school, I'd lash out at them.
I find it a little strange how these mood swings manifested in the first place. Before I turned 13, I rarely had any problems with anger or sadness, however the anger did build up inside over the years (probably from being teased in school). After I turned 13, that's when the mood swings started, and for the first few teenage years, I could get violent. One time I went so far as to make an attempt to stab my cousin with a screwdriver because she kept irritating me to the point where it drove me up the wall. Luckily the fits of anger lessened in intensity as I got older, but once I turned 18, I started feeling more depressed. From there I turned into an emotional roller coaster. I didn't want to be direct with people for fear of conflict (social anxiety talking there), so I would act passive-aggressive towards people instead (my first 2 roommates and ex-boyfriend come to mind). A lot of times, this behavior could even be prompted by paranoid thoughts like, "Oh my God, what if I pissed _____ off?"
Has anyone ever gone through this (or something similar)? Do you think social anxiety is to blame for these crazy mood swings, or is there something that perhaps my therapist has overlooked?
And that something is the mood swings I tend to have. Or, the mood swings I used to have before I went on Prozac. I tended to have "freak-outs" where I would fly into a rage, and then I'd become depressed afterward, feeling guilty for acting the way I did. Most of the time I would have these freak-outs around my family or sometimes close friends. If someone irritated me at school, I'd lash out at them.
I find it a little strange how these mood swings manifested in the first place. Before I turned 13, I rarely had any problems with anger or sadness, however the anger did build up inside over the years (probably from being teased in school). After I turned 13, that's when the mood swings started, and for the first few teenage years, I could get violent. One time I went so far as to make an attempt to stab my cousin with a screwdriver because she kept irritating me to the point where it drove me up the wall. Luckily the fits of anger lessened in intensity as I got older, but once I turned 18, I started feeling more depressed. From there I turned into an emotional roller coaster. I didn't want to be direct with people for fear of conflict (social anxiety talking there), so I would act passive-aggressive towards people instead (my first 2 roommates and ex-boyfriend come to mind). A lot of times, this behavior could even be prompted by paranoid thoughts like, "Oh my God, what if I pissed _____ off?"
Has anyone ever gone through this (or something similar)? Do you think social anxiety is to blame for these crazy mood swings, or is there something that perhaps my therapist has overlooked?
