More than just fear?

worrywort

Well-known member
MORE THAN JUST FEAR?

do you ever wonder whether it's more than just fear that we feel? Maybe the term "fear" is used too broadly. Maybe those feelings that we get to run away, or to get outside into space, or to just get out of certain social situations, aren't just because we're scared. Maybe those feelings we have are signifiers of something else. I've been thinking about this recently, and I've come up with a little theory. I think there are three other factors we need to take into consideration before we define our feelings as purely fear and nothing else;

1. MORALITY
2. IDENTITY
3. PRIORITIES

MORALITY - i.e. if a gang of kids were trying to get you to take drugs, or start a fight, or take part in some extreme ritual, and they were calling you a coward for not participating would that be purely fear that's holding you back? Or is it also your conscience?

IDENTITY - i.e. What if there was a boyband that performed on stage every weekend, and one of the members felt really uncomfortable on stage....more so than the others...and he was constantly fighting the urge to run off the stage. Is it simply because he's a coward? Because he's less brave than the others? Or could it also be that being in a boyband just isn't this guys calling? Maybe he's been doing it just to fit in, or to please his parents, or for some other wrong reason. Maybe he just feels like a fake and that's why he wants to get off the stage....not lack of bravery. Maybe sometimes the places we find ourselves in just aren't where we're meant to be. Maybe it's not just fear. Maybe it's this feeling of being fake that makes us want to reach for the door.

PRIORITIES - i.e. sometimes it seems you can get a barrage of opportunities thrown at you to face fears, but does that mean you have to face every one, or you're a coward? I'd find being trapped down a badger hole with badger food strapped to my face pretty terrifying....but that doesn't mean I should go and try it so as to rid me of this fear....it would be a waste of time? right?....or would it?! lol! could be fun actually!....but I'm just wondering, maybe the reason we decline some opportunites isn't just because we're scared. Maybe we're going a different direction with our lives and it'd just distract us or would be a waste of time.

erm....I'm not sure....these thoughts are still little baby thoughts at the mo.....but I'd love to hear if anybody else has anything to say on the topic? am I wrong? Are ALL fears good to face? Are there more factors? Am I thinking too black and white? Is life more complex?
 

SickJoke

Well-known member
do you ever wonder whether it's more than just fear that we feel?

Sure, we have a wide range of emotions.

Maybe the term "fear" is used too broadly. Maybe those feelings that we get to run away, or to get outside into space, or to just get out of certain social situations, aren't just because we're scared. Maybe those feelings we have are signifiers of something else.

It could be fear or some other reason. It depends on the individual and the situation.

MORALITY - i.e. if a gang of kids were trying to get you to take drugs, or start a fight, or take part in some extreme ritual, and they were calling you a coward for not participating would that be purely fear that's holding you back? Or is it also your conscience?

Person A could turn down drugs due to fear of possible negative effects.
Person B could turn down drugs simply because they think drugs are wrong, without being afraid.

Person A could run away from a fight due to fear of getting hurt.
Person B could turn down a fight because they don't want to hurt anyone, without being afraid.

IDENTITY - i.e. What if there was a boyband that performed on stage every weekend, and one of the members felt really uncomfortable on stage....more so than the others...and he was constantly fighting the urge to run off the stage. Is it simply because he's a coward? Because he's less brave than the others? Or could it also be that being in a boyband just isn't this guys calling? Maybe he's been doing it just to fit in, or to please his parents, or for some other wrong reason. Maybe he just feels like a fake and that's why he wants to get off the stage....not lack of bravery. Maybe sometimes the places we find ourselves in just aren't where we're meant to be. Maybe it's not just fear. Maybe it's this feeling of being fake that makes us want to reach for the door.

Person A could be uncomfortable on stage due to a fear of being judged.
Person B else could feel "out of place" on stage because they don't enjoy it, without being afraid.

PRIORITIES - i.e. sometimes it seems you can get a barrage of opportunities thrown at you to face fears, but does that mean you have to face every one, or you're a coward? I'd find being trapped down a badger hole with badger food strapped to my face pretty terrifying....but that doesn't mean I should go and try it so as to rid me of this fear....it would be a waste of time? right?....or would it?! lol! could be fun actually!....but I'm just wondering, maybe the reason we decline some opportunites isn't just because we're scared. Maybe we're going a different direction with our lives and it'd just distract us or would be a waste of time.

Person A could decline an opportunity due to fear.
Person B could decline an opportunity because they consider it a waste of time, without being afraid.

erm....I'm not sure....these thoughts are still little baby thoughts at the mo.....but I'd love to hear if anybody else has anything to say on the topic? am I wrong? Are ALL fears good to face? Are there more factors? Am I thinking too black and white? Is life more complex?

You have to ask yourself, and be honest, are you doing _____ out of fear? or is it truly some other reason? Are you using excuses and rationalizations to justify doing/not doing something, when the real reason is fear?
 

worrywort

Well-known member
you know what, I've been thinking more and more lately that it really isn't a lack of courage that's my problem. Because when I have something scary to do, if I KNOW it's the right thing to do, then I can usually find the balls to do it....it's all those situations where my principles and, as sabbath said, my values come into question....that's when I freeze up a lot. I hate the feeling of being fake. I don't like to defy my instincts.

But then, I also think you're right, sick joke, about being really honest....and the honest truth is, I actually find it hard to be really honest sometimes! When I look my hardest within myself to try to discover what I honestly feel, I think the only thing I discover is that I don't really know anything for sure! You know they say 90% of your brain is sub conscious, and we only use a small portion. I feel like the real truth is hidden in the back of my brain somewhere, but my best efforts to be totally honest can only muster up a few details from the front portion of my brain. So I often muster up a lot of theories and pull together random threads of emotions, but most of the time, to be honest, I don't really know what I feel!.....But I definitely think there's a lot of fear involved, and I expect there's a lot more than I'd like to admit....

ergh....so in conclusion....I think I need a therapist!:confused:
 

SickJoke

Well-known member
But then, I also think you're right, sick joke, about being really honest....and the honest truth is, I actually find it hard to be really honest sometimes! When I look my hardest within myself to try to discover what I honestly feel, I think the only thing I discover is that I don't really know anything for sure! You know they say 90% of your brain is sub conscious, and we only use a small portion. I feel like the real truth is hidden in the back of my brain somewhere, but my best efforts to be totally honest can only muster up a few details from the front portion of my brain. So I often muster up a lot of theories and pull together random threads of emotions, but most of the time, to be honest, I don't really know what I feel!.....But I definitely think there's a lot of fear involved, and I expect there's a lot more than I'd like to admit....

ergh....so in conclusion....I think I need a therapist!

Don't make rationalizations. Just go with your gut and you'll know how you truly feel. You know yourself better than any therapist could.
 
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