misjudged and criticized

[doubleM]

im so tired of being criticized by people. im always told that im not good enough by them. but its funny because most of the people who say those things have no business judging me to begin with.

take person A, hes a good friend. but when we hang out he is always telling me im not aggressive enough with approaching women, im not this and that, i need to do this, etc. yet when i ask him about any of his wife's single friends, he basically acts like im not good enough for them. he also makes statements about me being in college at 30, not yet having my own place, having no job, etc. well im in college trying better my life while he sits at home and drinks. go figure...

person B, is a friend and like my brother. sometimes he implies that im not up to par with what society expects from a man my age. that mentally i act like a child and i dont have enough worldly experience to succeed. and this guy is younger than me. what it boils down to is he grew up doing drugs but i didnt...he and his friends sometimes judge me as an idiot or less of a man than them just because i know little about it or refuse to partake of it. go figure...

its like theyre always trying to tell me, in their own nice way, that im a loser. when they say these things to me, i ask them to state why they think that and to back up their claim. they give reasons, but i dont see them as being valid reasons for labeling me as not good enough. and its not just these people there are others who see me this way.
im a rather passive person and i think that is misjudged as a weakness. but people dont realize that i have rules and lines that i will not allow to be crossed by people. i have strengths and skills, ive overcome impossible odds when other people gave up, ive done it when someone said it couldnt be done, i will go against the flow, im intelligent, and i never give up on something i want. ive been emotionally kicked in the teeth multiple times but i got back up and kept going.
it takes a lot of will and courage to do things like that. but those are not things that people value today. people who can talk smooth and act like fake thugs and put up a front of being a tough guy are who get the respect today. i just cant act like that.
maybe it is partly my fault for not being a more aggressive person. or maybe i really am a loser by society's definition. why is it such a crime to be me?

im just venting crap. i feel so misjudged by people.

 

[MikeyC]

It's good that you can stand up for yourself in the face of adversity, mate.

I have a friend disturbingly similar to Person A, so I kind of know what it's like. Have you considered dropping them as friends if they continue to be derogatory towards you?

 

[gustavofring]

it takes a lot of will and courage to do things like that. but those are not things that people value today. people who can talk smooth and act like fake thugs and put up a front of being a tough guy are who get the respect today. i just cant act like that.

Seems like you're hanging in the wrong part of town.
In my experience, but maybe its different where you live, thug-like people are generally frowned upon and won't get a job in a respectful function anywhere (unless as a bouncer or something). Also, people see through smooth talkers a lot more then you think. They may think they're the $hit but honestly, those people are tiring and nobody wants to hang around with egotistical agressive guys.

Don't give up, there's a lot of people who will respect honest, hardworking people with both of their feet on the ground, who don't give up even though the odds are stacked against them. You're trying to better your life. That is admirable, and if you're persistent you will succeed. Just don't let your ego take over too much (feeling inadequate, feeling the need to prove yourself to others). The only one you should be proving anything to is yourself, don't worry about others opinions, especially not those of something as abstract as "society". Just be yourself and try to pursue the life that you want, not what others expect of you.

I too had a friend who always pointed out what's wrong with me, and that I am awkward in social situations and would ridicule me to other people when going out. I gave up on the guy, because it's obvious that he didn't respect me and basically used me to so it would make him look cool. He just sucked as a person, sadly it took me years to find out.