Maybe were all just cowards... End of decision.

[Helmaninquiel]

I'm an open book, so pretty much everyone I love knows about my situation and everyone that I have talked to about my anxiety and their reply are things like " Whats new, everyone has problems but life still goes on just deal with it." or " It's fight or flight baby." and still I look around and I see the masks that everyone puts on, how good at acting they are and I just can't do it.. it seems so fake to me. What I'm trying to say is maybe we just aren't as strong or maybe to stubborn to face that this is all we get, life isn't fantasy and maybe if we keep living in fantasy that reality won't hit us in the face as hard. Everyone seems to have life figured out more then me and I hate it.

 

[EasySkanking]

Maybe we all are just cowards. Who knows?

But that doesn't mean, we can't learn to be so brave as to have the balls of king kong! People are born better and worse at somethings... yet that means little as we have the choice to better ourselves in these qualities... perhaps even become the best/biggest/baddest mother****er in that 'quality'. That's what makes life worth living - accomplishments, in my opinion

 

[worrywort]

I've thought about this a lot in the past and, personally, I actually disagree. I think we're all a lot braver than we give ourselves credit for.

I could be wrong, but the main thing I noticed is that in every area of my life, other than socializing, I find that I'm often braver than most people. I'm always the first one off the high dive, or on the rollercoaster, or I can go the extra mile in the marathon, or commit myself more deeply than most. But with socializing even a simple thing like saying hello to someone, my courage can fail me.

Again, I could be wrong, but personally I believe our social problems go a lot deeper than a simple lack of bravery. It's not just fear that I'm trying to overcome when I'm struggling for words, it's also that feeling of wrongness, like every fibre of my being is screaming at me to close my mouth and find the exit; Like I'm being fake or denying some true part of myself.

also, I think there have been cases of adults who had previously been fine at socialising, suddenly developing social phobia for various reasons, and I doubt that this would happen purely because they just suddenly bottled it one day. I'd imagine there are far more factors involved.

 

[EasySkanking]

^ good point It's still difficult to decide thoughre. To be honest, I don't really care why I have it. I just care that I have it and that I want to get rid of it!

 

[Helmaninquiel]

I've thought about this a lot in the past and, personally, I actually disagree. I think we're all a lot braver than we give ourselves credit for.

I could be wrong, but the main thing I noticed is that in every area of my life, other than socializing, I find that I'm often braver than most people. I'm always the first one off the high dive, or on the rollercoaster, or I can go the extra mile in the marathon, or commit myself more deeply than most. But with socializing even a simple thing like saying hello to someone, my courage can fail me.

Again, I could be wrong, but personally I believe our social problems go a lot deeper than a simple lack of bravery. It's not just fear that I'm trying to overcome when I'm struggling for words, it's also that feeling of wrongness, like every fibre of my being is screaming at me to close my mouth and find the exit; Like I'm being fake or denying some true part of myself.

also, I think there have been cases of adults who had previously been fine at socialising, suddenly developing social phobia for various reasons, and I doubt that this would happen purely because they just suddenly bottled it one day. I'd imagine there are far more factors involved.

Yeah your right, My mom just keeps telling me that I need to get over it and move on.. but I just can't I feel like I'm the only one in the world with problems because everyone knows how to fake it so ****ing good out side of this site. idk maybe most people in here also fake it in the real world but I just can't I let my emotions take over and act completely crazy and distant in peoples eyes. We all have are own strengths and weakness, were only human.. maybe it was wrong to use the word coward. Sorry everyone.

 

[Honda]

Through out history and they always say a coward tries to find a good excuse to justify their cowardice instead of accepting the truth... Sometimes i wish i was a animal without a mind, not bothering about thinking just living... The problem is i got so used to the misery and the cowardice that i find it hard to get over it and live like an ordinary person and face trouble and conflict. Im used to run away and avoid conflict or threatening situations, i find it hard to stand up for myself.. Were cowards; we just make theories and ideas so we can rest at ease in the end of the day.. People like us might contribute something to society but we are still cowards in essence.. Id rather fail in my life and career than to lose things for being too scared to face it...

Since i was a kid and all i did was hide and run away from things.. I was too scared to do anything and now i feel the weight of these actions.. I will always live with defeat and regret or maybe i got so used to it that i dont want to let go.. Or maybe havent experienced this cutting edge day where i realize things i never knew about myself...

But i look around me and notice i have lived a long time like this and i realized the gravity of the situation at quite a late time... I haven't lived an ordinary social life, i was isolated from and scared of the world around me, and trapped myself at home behind the computer playing video games, not knowing whats happening in the real world... But now im living the real stuff and realize the reality of the situation so i have no excuse still its not easy for me to do or deal with certain things like ordinary people would as if find it quite scary and tense but im taking some chances yet im not like other people especially in intense situations.....

 

[Lea]

WTF I can't give rep to Worrywort, I must spread some reputation around first, when I didn't even rep him before, I gave rep point to someone else before. This happens to me quite often, I just can't give reputation to people because of this stupid thing.

 

[Kiwong]

Duplicity is not my strong suit either.

I'm a Coward? No way, I've got more guts and intelligence in my little finger than some of the people that make my life so hard.

 

[BlackPuma]

No, I don't think we're cowards.

I think that we as humans are on a evolutionary crossroad. Before, we were animals, and now we're slowly growing towards (true) intelligence. But we're not there yet. At the moment we're capable of building great things, but we're still dominated by our natural urges. We are intelligent, but not intelligent enough to understand our intelligence. That's really what we are right now, confused animals without a obvious purpose. How many ask themselves what the meaning of life is? Or why they are where they are?

It causes most of us to be afraid, and developed a make-believe purpose by which we can live our life's without feeling that we've wasted it. Money, love and success seem to be the most popular ''purposes'' at the moment. The simple truth is, humans need fictional purposes to live their life's by, because by default our only purpose is to stay alive. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that though, people should do whatever makes them happy as long as it doesn't involve others getting hurt in the process.

If you're not capable of making up lies to deal with things, it doesn't mean that you're weak. It means that you're realistic.

Most see emotional people as cowards and weaklings, but they're not. Someone who is brave enough to bare and expose his deepest thoughts and emotions is much braver and stronger then someone whom hides behind the ''just deal with it'' phrase.

 

[worrywort]

.. maybe it was wrong to use the word coward. Sorry everyone.

nah that's alright, it's an important topic I think. I created a similar thread about cowardice a few years ago asking the same thing!

Were cowards; we just make theories and ideas so we can rest at ease in the end of the day..

yea, this is something that always plays on my mind, cause I know it's human nature to cover up our faults with fancy explanations, and I'm sure I've been guilty of this in the past....and cowardice definitely plays a role, I admit I've done my fair share of chickening out over the years....but I just don't believe that the reason we're socially phobic and others aren't is purely down to a lack of courage. I think there's a lot more going on.

^ good point It's still difficult to decide thoughre. To be honest, I don't really care why I have it. I just care that I have it and that I want to get rid of it!

also good point!

WTF I can't give rep to Worrywort, I must spread some reputation around first, when I didn't even rep him before, I gave rep point to someone else before. This happens to me quite often, I just can't give reputation to people because of this stupid thing.

yea I've had that happen to me before....although it's probably cause I get a bit trigger happy with the rep thing sometimes! ....thanks for trying to rep me anyway! ::

 

[Honda]

Or weak enough not to hide them and know when and when not to expose them...

 

[mrb]

anyone that deals with bad sa evrey single day of there lives is far from a coward , there are diffrent levels of sa , and i think there very brave to come on here to ask , seek advice and try to find a way to get better , they could just give up and sink into dispair , but no there fighting all the time to improve there lives .... is that a coward , sounds like a fighter to me not a coward

 

[Honda]

Well it doesn't take that much guts to come here and talk about your problems or maybe I forgot how fearful I was in the past.. People are living an invisible nightmare of trying to look ordinary, sociable, acceptable, etc.. And they pressure themselves and others to live this way.. Its hard for someone to say I'm wrong, I was stupid, I was defeated, I was scared... Its like people r scared of each other no matter how down to earth they are... People are different and have fears on a different scale.. Others aren't noble enough to drop the ego and accept the reality... ****ing tragedy isn't it, like a cancer...

 

[Helmaninquiel]

Maybe we all are just cowards. Who knows?

But that doesn't mean, we can't learn to be so brave as to have the balls of king kong! People are born better and worse at somethings... yet that means little as we have the choice to better ourselves in these qualities... perhaps even become the best/biggest/baddest mother****er in that 'quality'. That's what makes life worth living - accomplishments, in my opinion

Yes, accomplishments in life do make you happier, but how are you suppose to set goals when you are afraid of living because you feel like it won't be good enough? I look around me and I'll I see is worn down people with A LOT of work and not enough pleasure. Me I'm really sad because I'll I do is live in fantasy, to afraid to leave my comfort zone... to afraid to be one of them.
My family thinks I'm a complete nut case, because I'm different and have different views on life. ( Rolls my eyes.) Uncle conservative, Cousin Conservative, Mom.. Just follows along with the rest of them and then theirs in my own little world. lol

 

[Helmaninquiel]

Well it doesn't take that much guts to come here and talk about your problems or maybe I forgot how fearful I was in the past.. People are living an invisible nightmare of trying to look ordinary, sociable, acceptable, etc.. And they pressure themselves and others to live this way.. Its hard for someone to say I'm wrong, I was stupid, I was defeated, I was scared... Its like people r scared of each other no matter how down to earth they are... People are different and have fears on a different scale.. Others aren't noble enough to drop the ego and accept the reality... ****ing tragedy isn't it, like a cancer...

Lol That's the thing, all the people I seem to surrounded by are NOT, I repeat not down to earth you have to be like the girls from the hills. (shutter.) So PLEASE bring on the down to earth people.. ( I would be in heaven, drinking from a glass made out of chocolate if that happened.) but the one friend that I did have that was down to earth doesn't hang out with me or even call me ( I have to call her.) because she is more messed then I am and can't leave her house and always thinks she is going to die like every time she gets a panic attack. So yeah I'm pretty much ****ed. Life's so awesome !! Living in constant fear is so awesome !! Lol

 

[EasySkanking]

Yes, accomplishments in life do make you happier, but how are you suppose to set goals when you are afraid of living because you feel like it won't be good enough? l

Well, you just keep trying, even if you only go "half an inch" at a time, eventually you'll get to a point where you start to set goals and such.

I look around me and I'll I see is worn down people with A LOT of work and not enough pleasure. Me I'm really sad because I'll I do is live in fantasy, to afraid to leave my comfort zone... to afraid to be one of them.

Yeah, people certainly do have a lot of work, but the pleasures in life, like love, fun, accomplishments are worth it. Most people are "happy", otherwise, they would be killing themselves in the masses . Are you tired of living in a fantasy world? Being less happy than those who appear to have a lot of work not enough pleasure? Then do something about it- whatever you can... you'll get there eventually . The journey is hard and frustrating one, but it's better than sitting down at the "start".

 

[Helmaninquiel]

Well, you just keep trying, even if you only go "half an inch" at a time, eventually you'll get to a point where you start to set goals and such.



Yeah, people certainly do have a lot of work, but the pleasures in life, like love, fun, accomplishments are worth it. Most people are "happy", otherwise, they would be killing themselves in the masses . Are you tired of living in a fantasy world? Being less happy than those who appear to have a lot of work not enough pleasure? Then do something about it- whatever you can... you'll get there eventually . The journey is hard and frustrating one, but it's better than sitting down at the "start".

Why do I get the feeling that your paid to be on here talking to me.. lol Sorry don't mean that in a bad way, your just really optimistic, it scares me. jk

 

[EasySkanking]

Yeah, I've been told that a lot recently... lol. I guess that's a good thing, thank you

I'm optimistic because I've worked so very hard on this disorder and have had success because of it, and I see that it can be beaten . I don't always feel like that though, sometimes I feel like ****

 

[Helmaninquiel]

Yeah, I've been told that a lot recently... lol. I guess that's a good thing, thank you

Lol No prob. hey, at least you have it better then me. ::

 

[coyote]

Pssst.....Dude, how much are they paying you?