Making the first step with social phobia

[JCJenny]

Hello. Just a quick introduction to me. I'm thinking about finally visiting my GP with my problems after living with it for too long. I haven't been diagnosed yet needless to say but I am now 40 years old and I have spent the last approx 33 years avoiding sooooo many things and I am totally sick of it. :O( anything from making routine phonecalls, to attending friends social get togethers have been an issue for me.
I have arranged a meal out tomorrow night for a handful of my close friends to celebrate me and my bf getting engaged and I feel so nervous even though I've arranged it and they are pretty much people I would be comfortable with on a one to one basis but because it's a group thing and the focus is going to be on me makes me feel really panicky. I've only arranged the meal as it feels like it's expected of me. :O( but if I wasn't like this I should be excited and over the moon that my close friends are all coming together to celebrate with us.
Me and my bf want to get married this year but I have been putting off making any steps to arranging it because although I know it is going to be a small do ,even this is making me nervous.
I'm wondering if my doctor will give me any medication that may help to stop me feeling like this all the time(not just about the wedding but about everyday events too)
Any words of advice would be gratefully received.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Hi, Jenny. Congratulations on your engagement, and welcome to the forum! I don't have any specific advice to give you right now, but there are a lot of great people here, and I'm sure some of them will be a lot more helpful. Again, welcome!

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[JCJenny]

Aah hello back to both of you. It's nice to be here. :O)

 

[Silatuyok]

Hi Jenny. Congrats on the engagement. I think talking to your GP is a great first step, there are a lot of options for dealing with anxiety. Best of luck to you!

 

[Xervello]

Hello, Jen. I second the others, congrats on your engagement! Unfortunately I don't have any advice to give. Only to say that I think what you've done and accomplished so far is very brave! Even if it's not all you'd want or like up to this point. Myself, I'm 36 and can relate to how you feel. But I think it's wonderful that you're still willing to push yourself despite how scary it is. It's like this giant wall to climb that looks it'd fall on us if we tried to surmount it, and crush us in the process. Glad to see you're still willing to fight. I wish you luck. Both with your social phobia AND your engagement.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Welcome to the forum. Your GP may prescribe medication to reduce your anxiety. Please do as much research as you can on SSRI's (i.e Prozac, Paxil etc) and Benzos (stay away from these as they are very addicting).
I'm currently taking the generic form of Prozac (Fluoxetine 40mg) and it has had no effect so far. Everyone's brain chemistry is different though. You may have to try a number of different medications before finding the one that works for you. But, do some research on tolerance/withdrawals to see if the benefits are worth the risks.

 

[TableFor1]

Xervello, well said!

Hello, Jen. I second the others, congrats on your engagement! Unfortunately I don't have any advice to give. Only to say that I think what you've done and accomplished so far is very brave! Even if it's not all you'd want or like up to this point. Myself, I'm 36 and can relate to how you feel. But I think it's wonderful that you're still willing to push yourself despite how scary it is. It's like this giant wall to climb that looks it'd fall on us if we tried to surmount it, and crush us in the process. Glad to see you're still willing to fight. I wish you luck. Both with your social phobia AND your engagement.

Hi Jenny, Yes, congratulations to you and your fiancé! I think you’re one big step in the right direction.

I haven't been diagnosed yet needless to say but I am now 40 years old and I have spent the last approx 33 years avoiding sooooo many things and I am totally sick of it. :O( anything from making routine phonecalls, to attending friends social get togethers have been an issue for me.

Your story sounds a lot like mine. Despite how we may feel sometimes, we really do “need” human interaction (a hug from a friend or loved one goes a long way). Im 43 and have only organized maybe a handful of small gatherings/parties with close friends for the same reason. I noticed though since I was the host, it was so much easier because I was the first one there to set the mood. As your guests start to arrive, you will get that one on one time with your friends. I’ve always felt it was harder walking into a party with a group of people, where the energy is already set. This is your time to shine and Im sure it will be great! Good luck!

 

[sullyS25]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

I am sorry you have suffered so long and I'm glad to see your taking steps to help change things that make you feel uncomfortable.

I have no doubt a doctor can provide you with medications that will help alleviate the symptoms and I would recommend talking to one if thats what you feel like you need. I also hope you are looking for other ways to help these things like therapy of some sort because while the medications will help, changing the way you perceive situations and think through therapy would be more of a permanent solution in my opinion.

Taking meds can help but eventually in the future I feel like getting to the point where you dont need to rely on medications would be optimal and you wouldnt have to rely on something else to fee good because you would learn to be happy with who you are and how you are as a person.

 

[spearhunter]

Hello and welcome to the forum

 

[Opaline]

Congrats on getting engaged, and welcome to the site

 

[JCJenny]

Thankyou everyone for your kind words. I really enjoyed our night although I got so close to cancelling the whole thing when 3 people told me on the day that they wouldn't be able to make it. :O( so our small gathering was even smaller but it was lovely and one of my friends made a lovely toast and they even got my bf to get down on one knee to propose properly as his previous attempt was shockingly unromantic. i still haven't made the step to the doctors surgery. I think I am dreading saying my thoughts out loud. I haven't even voiced my phobias to my partner . We have been together almost 3 years but I have managed to keep it all fairly controlled. I have avoided more social get togethers recently though which makes me feel very bad for the people in my social circle and my closest friends who don't understand why I do this.

 

[UnofficiallyMe]

Hello..

I remember finding this site, this was the first I found, 3 years ago.
I, for the FIRST time, realized that I was not alone.
It was a relief beyond relief.. There are many levels of help, some medication others such as cognitive behavior therapy. You have to find what works for you, be willing to try a million different things, and never give up..

I am married, and I will say it can be really hard, what with friends, events, and the such and having someone not really understand.. but it is always worth it

Hold on and go for it!