Macho work environment

[gustavofring]

I recently took on a job in a butchery in a large wholesaler. I work with guys who learned the trade and all. The work is okay, it's menial, but I don't mind it. I hate having to be the "new guy" so you're automatically the butt of jokes, but I will bite through that.

The unfortunate thing is that the workplace is filled with the type of macho guys who constantly have to make annoying loudmouth rude jokes to each other, constantly make jokes about other employees, bragging, call each other gay etc. Basically constantly proving their "masculinity", and I feel like I have to participate and laugh along as to not feel shut out.

I'm not gay, and certainly I like a joke every now and then. But I feel like these types of environments just kill me. I find the jokes unfunny and the behavior unruly, but that's unfortunately the case in many workplaces.
I'm motivated to get out of this job asap when I find something better.

Anyone have to deal with this type of workplace?

 

[BlueDays]

I have to deal with the same situation, except for me it is from the female perspective.
I am not a "girly" girl. Kind of like a tomboy. Never interested in things that girls are "supposed" to be interested in.

Working around other women I have to nod my head in agreement and giggle along with them in discussions about topics I absolutely hate so I don't get labelled "the odd one".

I hate anything to do with fashion, jewellery, doing your hair in a fancy way, reality TV shows, shoes or nasty gossip about other female workers. h:mg:

But if I did not "fake" loving all those things "normal females" should be interested in then I would be made fun of.

I guess we just have to keep "faking" it to fit in?

 

[Richey]

Yeah, work environment can be more important than the career/job choice.

As an introvert, I find departments in some industries to be not a match for me, simple as that.

I'm not boring and I like a joke, but I find that too many narcissists end up outnumbering the nicer people.

The way I deal with it is to just laugh or attempt some light hearted humour every so often.

Problem is I can't pretend to be happy or pretend to be positive and lively.

So I am better off seeking work that is either very small teams, travel, on my own or with a desk job.

At the same time it's good experiencing intense and intimidating environments, it's not something I want to do for a long time.

Alpha or arrogant environments are not for me. Partly why I never pursued a trade, after working on some temp projects I realised the tough guy aspect of the industry on building sites is just not me and I'd struggle to adapt to that super intensive environment.

As an introvert who can be funny, I'm still better off pursuing work environments that match the personality type. It just makes more sense.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I work in an environment like this.

If you're unhappy, look for another job and 'play along' until you can move to another job.
Don't be too judgmental of those guys, maybe some of them don't like the jokes etc either but just put up with it.
At my workplace The guys are in love with horse racing. Horse racing bores me to death. I love horses, but racing? No thanks.
Once I became comfortable with them, I would go do something else as soon as they would start talking about horse racing.
They soon asked 'Don't you like horse racing?' .

I replied 'Don't get me wrong, I love horses, but sitting around listening to a bunch of amateur horse racing gambling addicts.. doesn't really turn me on'.
I said it tongue in cheek of course. But they understood I have no interest in that subject.

Also, the gay thing. When I first got there the two bosses would regularly joke about gays, how they were disgusting etc and the other guys would more or less nod in agreement.
One day the subject came up again and I said 'You know what they say about guys who are homophobic don't you?.
boss- 'no, what?'
me - 'those who are homophobic are more likely to have secret gay sexual desires'.
He tried to act all bravado about it but then I said 'What if your son turned out to be gay?'
boss - 'I'd f*uckin kill him!' (he didn't mean literally of course)
me - 'No you wouldn't. It might shock you for a bit, but you'd still love him. You'd still care for him. If anyone hurt him you'd still be there to defend him'.

In that moment I could see his mind ticking over, as if something had clicked.

I then finished with 'Gays don't bother me, because I'm secure in my sexuality. I know who I am.'

Now all my workmates say the same thing - including my bosses ; 'someone being gay doesn't bother me'.
I admit I feel proud of myself for making them see they have nothing to fear on that subject.

My point is, you can talk and say anything to anyone. It's your approach on the subject you have to consider. Use tact.

 

[Hilken]

If you leave, send them a gay calender as a leaving present!

 

[Opaline]

Also, the gay thing. When I first got there the two bosses would regularly joke about gays, how they were disgusting etc and the other guys would more or less nod in agreement.
One day the subject came up again and I said 'You know what they say about guys who are homophobic don't you?.
boss- 'no, what?'
me - 'those who are homophobic are more likely to have secret gay sexual desires'.
He tried to act all bravado about it but then I said 'What if your son turned out to be gay?'
boss - 'I'd f*uckin kill him!' (he didn't mean literally of course)
me - 'No you wouldn't. It might shock you for a bit, but you'd still love him. You'd still care for him. If anyone hurt him you'd still be there to defend him'.

In that moment I could see his mind ticking over, as if something had clicked.

I then finished with 'Gays don't bother me, because I'm secure in my sexuality. I know who I am.'

Now all my workmates say the same thing - including my bosses ; 'someone being gay doesn't bother me'.
I admit I feel proud of myself for making them see they have nothing to fear on that subject.

My point is, you can talk and say anything to anyone. It's your approach on the subject you have to consider. Use tact.

This is awesome. It's great you were able to influence them that much to change their attitudes. Doesn't always work out that way.

If you leave, send them a gay calender as a leaving present!

YES

 

[Megaten]

I wish I would have seen this post earlier. I just want to get paid so I can buy food and medicine. Not see who has the biggest schlong.

 

[gustavofring]

I just want to get paid so I can buy food and medicine. Not see who has the biggest schlong.

Indeed. I'd rather just be left alone and do the work and go home. Not waste energy to have to deal or try to fit in with all these guys who will never genuinely be my friends anyway because they are just too different.

Sadly if you shut yourself off, or try to get some alone time, very soon there will be nasty gossip or you're treated like some sort of outcast. Ugh...People.

 

[gustavofring]

I sometimes miss my old night job. It was pretty crappy having that messed up sleep schedule but at least most of the time I was alone, or dealt with people who I would never see again. It's very tempting to go back to that kind of work, but I think health-wise it's just bad for me. However having a dayjob in a team is probably just as bad because it causes stress and anxiety.

 

[Megaten]

Stress might actually be worse I think. Well unless you werent sleeping at all and not getting any sunlight. My doc said my vit D was dangerously low so Im trying to get a little sun each day now.

 

[gustavofring]

The thing why I quit was that I felt it drained me mentally and physically. I was just too exhausted to do anything in the day because of the night job and this also caused depression and my life became very messy (I never had the energy to clean, pay bills, social stuff, let alone working on my other career). However my life now with a fulltime day job isn't that much better.

When I think back, I am doubtful whether I really took the right precautions to prevent exhaustion. I didn't exercise too much and gave into over-eating a lot.

I do feel better physically now, so I guess the stress of having to deal with annoying colleagues I should just cope with, until I find something better. It's just hard.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

That's how my old workplace was and I was the only girl so I was out of place lol. My new job is like the total opposite and their too sensitive sometimes like crying over forgetting their grandkids birthday... that it's irritating... IDK XD