Lunch.

[-cae]

Heh, this is sort of embarrassing, but I'd really like to know.

When you were in school, or being in school now, how do/did you get through school lunch? Do/did you have people to hang round with, or are/were you left on your own?

Being a senior, I've now the oppurtunity to go outside of school at lunchtimes, and so everyone is taking advantage of that fact with the nearby town. I have one person to go town with fortunately, but I've realised how dependant on her I am and I feel so guilty. On the days I had off ill, I felt like she probably went with someone else and realised what she was missing out on by coming with me, heh..and on the days she has clubs, ohh, I hate them. I have no one else to go with as I'm not close to anyone at all, last year at least I had some people, but this year there's really no one.

So I have many lunchtimes to look forward to, with me either hiding in the toilets or peering through the library's window of which I'm still too scared to actually go into. I suppose I could go home, but then I'd have to explain as to why.

ahh, dilemmas. :roll:

 

[bashfulgirl]

Hey Cae. Good news. On another website, www.socialanxietysupport.com there is a post called, "Wierd stuff we do because of SA". Its about 15 pages long and is all about how people hid at lunchtime in the bathrooms or in the library or outside because of not wanting to have to talk to other people. Check it out. I went to the library almost everyday myself in High School and would have never guessed there were so many people doing the same thing for the same reason. You are in good company

 

[Emma]

I used to sit alone in a stairwell and cry during lunch, people called me cellar dwellar, luck I don't go to school anymore

 

[Richey]

I used to sit alone in a stairwell and cry during lunch, people called me cellar dwellar, luck I don't go to school anymore

your from nsw..im from melbourne, dont worry i was the same alot of the time..well actually i had a group that i used to hang around and converse with during lunch but i found it an odd experiance because only one of the members i was really friends with and the others were absolute jerks...for instance they would throw rocks at other students..this was in senior years, so i just did my own thing and sometimes went to the library or walked to the loacl shops, the only fond memories i had was playing sports with them because i was getting exercise and everyone just enjoyed that....i sort of dissasociated with the group after a while......i felt like i wasnt being myself and i was being subjected to very immature behaviour, like bullying for attention by old friends.....i felt glad that i stepped away when i did...since then i have made aquantences and i still had one close friend.....im looking forward to starting new friendships over the next year, i feel that i would prefer to have people in my life for my sanity....i know i can hanfdle it without people but its always nice to have people around anyway :wink:

 

[Emma]

I'm from Newcastle, I've never been to melbourne before I used to live in Townsville before I moved here

 

[PunkyMonkey]

Back in middle school I sat with a group of "friends". Well, one of the girls was my friend and I got on very well with her when we were alone, but around all of her other friends I couldn't say a word. They all hated me for sitting with them and not reallly knowing them but they mostly just ignored me. I hated sitting with them too, but I had nowhere else to go back then.

When High school started there wasn't really a cafeteria and most people went off campus, so I couldn't really find anyone even if I knew them a little. So I did sit in the bathroom and hide. Every day at lunch because I couldn't bear to be seen sitting alone. Towards the end of the year I finally had the courage to go to the library and sit at a computer every day just writing or reading things. A lot of people would actually go to the library just like that every day, and I was surprised. So, -cae, on the days you are alone, don't be afraid to just go into the library. Especially if you only go in occassionally, it will look like you just have a lot of work to do on something.

After the first year, I eventually did have friends to go eat lunch with and everything.

 

[-cae]

Hey Cae. Good news. On another website, www.socialanxietysupport.com there is a post called, "Wierd stuff we do because of SA". Its about 15 pages long and is all about how people hid at lunchtime in the bathrooms or in the library or outside because of not wanting to have to talk to other people. Check it out. I went to the library almost everyday myself in High School and would have never guessed there were so many people doing the same thing for the same reason. You are in good company

Hey, thanks for the link! I'm reading the post now.

I used to sit alone in a stairwell and cry during lunch, people called me cellar dwellar, luck I don't go to school anymore

That sucks. It probably doesn't help, but I'm always called the corner girl or some form of that (my name rhymes with corner as well, eh.) because that's where I always try to sit.

Back in middle school I sat with a group of "friends". Well, one of the girls was my friend and I got on very well with her when we were alone, but around all of her other friends I couldn't say a word. They all hated me for sitting with them and not reallly knowing them but they mostly just ignored me. I hated sitting with them too, but I had nowhere else to go back then.

When High school started there wasn't really a cafeteria and most people went off campus, so I couldn't really find anyone even if I knew them a little. So I did sit in the bathroom and hide. Every day at lunch because I couldn't bear to be seen sitting alone. Towards the end of the year I finally had the courage to go to the library and sit at a computer every day just writing or reading things. A lot of people would actually go to the library just like that every day, and I was surprised. So, -cae, on the days you are alone, don't be afraid to just go into the library. Especially if you only go in occassionally, it will look like you just have a lot of work to do on something.

After the first year, I eventually did have friends to go eat lunch with and everything.

With the thing you did in middle school, I did that for a while in high school. I didn't like it, but I didn't really mind because I at least had somewhere to go, and they were all too busy play-fighting and whatnot to notice I was there most of the time, and it was sort of..immediate reaction that we'd all go there at lunch. But with the whole being allowed to go out of school, nothings so fixed anymore and so nowhere to go. I'm so lucky to have one person to go with most of the time, but argh, she must be so annoyed by me always going with her but then never having anything to say, but I suppose it's lucky that she's pretty quiet too.

Yeah, so far I've avoided having to use the toilets, through fortunate events where I ended up being used when someone was in an argument or something, though I'm so scared of being seen alone I didn't mind much, heh. :? I know it will happen when I'll have no where to go, soon, since schools barely just started up again. I have no idea where I'll go then. The toilets are usually locked, and I'm wondering if I'd even be able to get in before they do that, and usually the girls hang around there and do make up or something for lunch. I'm so scared of someone I know being in the library, or someone my brother knows, who will tell him how much of a loser I am, eh, and then he'll share the stories of how I haven't left the house in more than a few months and how he's had to put up with it.

I'll probably try suck it up if I need to, after reading all the posts on here. Or maybe I'll try find a path from school where no one else goes. I really don't know how many people are in the library, which is really the only reason I'm freaked out.

Thanks a lot for all the replies. =D

 

[NewcastleBoy]

I always went into the school library... Years 11 & 12 were the worst - I didn't have a single friend, so found a quiet place near the front of the school where I wouldn't be disturbed. I so badly wanted to leave Year 11 (but was talked out of it by my parents / form mistresss - they were right I must admit, and I'm thankful I listened to their advice and contnued on).

I did not attend my Year 10 farewell, now did I attend the Year 12 formal (I probably was the only person not to go).

Pete

 

[Psychedelicious]

For the first couple of days I didn't have anywhere to sit, and I just kept wandering around, but then some people invited me to sit with them. So I kind of sat with like the stoner peoples. It was in the best spot too, there was like no one else around and no one could see you. I really liked it actually, I just wish I did more than stare at them.

 

[Kamen]

That's really strange!
Today I wrote a message about school breakfast and lunch in another forum and now I see a similar topic here, and I am going to reply in the same way. Plus, I already wrote in the neighboring topic about paranoid thoughts. 8O

Anyways...

I have never eaten in school. I used to 'load' in the morning and had no problems until afternoon.

 

[enmascarado]

In middle school I sat at the end of a table by myself. Now, in high school, I sit on a bench in the commons area. After the first few weeks of school people didn't bother me when they saw me alone. I don't even care anymore if people think I'm a freak for being alone all the time. I wish we were allowed to leave campus, then I would just go home. :roll:

 

[TheWall]

I used to sit by myself at lunch in high school. It was really annoying because people would walk by and say things like "aaawww you're sitting by yourself! Are you okay?"

 

[stardog]

In college I would just walk around town randomly, eating my lunch on the way...

 

[grakovsky]

I have the same problem in HIgh school. I used to have a group of friends but they all dispersed or moves in high school and i couldn't find anyone so i moved to the group of losers, they are losers even by my standards and i hate sitting with them, i have nothing in common, but I have no one else, so i just go there and then go to the library and do homework or something.

Sometimes people ask me to sit with them and when i do its so freaking weird cause I can't say anything =( If i get over this problem and find some normal friends my life would be much better.

 

[Walk]

I have the same problem in HIgh school. I used to have a group of friends but they all dispersed or moves in high school and i couldn't find anyone so i moved to the group of losers, they are losers even by my standards and i hate sitting with them, i have nothing in common, but I have no one else, so i just go there and then go to the library and do homework or something.

Sometimes people ask me to sit with them and when i do its so freaking weird cause I can't say anything =( If i get over this problem and find some normal friends my life would be much better.

Dude, take advantage of when people ask you to sit with them. Just tell them the truth, not all of it, but be pretty open. Say like, I just haven't been able to make friends for the longest... they should accept you if they're worth your time.

Even in my most lonely days in school, some people invited me to hang out with them (albeit once in a blue moon) and I didn't and I'm paying dearly to this day for chickening out; don't be like me! Appreciate it, it'll all work out if you just know their names and say what's up.

I hope for the best for all of us this coming year. Shyness is a fucked up thing!!

 

[halcyon]

Lunch was awful for me in school as well. In High school freshman year some girls invited me to sit w/ them. I didn't speak to them at all. I would just sit w/ them. for the next 3 years I would be terrified of sitting alone, and would sit w/ the same group. During year 11 I sat w/ two other girls and barely said a word to them. Sometimes I wanted to but I really didn't know how to start. It was so awkward. Sometimes one would be absent or both and then I would sit by myself. I could tell they really didn't want to sit w/ me, but probably felt sorry for me. I was pathetic. I hated school lunch. Thank god in year 12 I got to go home for lunch. That was a god send for my sanity. Terrible memories...

 

[Walk]

Lunch was awful for me in school as well. In High school freshman year some girls invited me to sit w/ them. I didn't speak to them at all. I would just sit w/ them. for the next 3 years I would be terrified of sitting alone, and would sit w/ the same group. During year 11 I sat w/ two other girls and barely said a word to them. Sometimes I wanted to but I really didn't know how to start. It was so awkward. Sometimes one would be absent or both and then I would sit by myself. I could tell they really didn't want to sit w/ me, but probably felt sorry for me. I was pathetic. I hated school lunch. Thank god in year 12 I got to go home for lunch. That was a god send for my sanity. Terrible memories...

Props for not dropping out of school due to anxiety. I wish I had finished school, but my SA led me to ditch a lot and be sent to continuation school.

 

[Hoth]

I had a tree I always ate lunch under in high school (alone, of course). Oddly it was out in the middle of everything, in plain sight. Sometimes the best place to hide is in plain sight, because you can't be cornered or caught alone there. I suppose nobody else ate there because they didn't like sitting in the dirt.

What to do after eating was harder. I just circled the campus again and again until lunch hour was over. I found if I kept moving people were less likely to approach or talk to me. I perfected the art of appearing to always be in a rush to get somewhere, without ever going anywhere.

College was much more fun, as I always had lunch at the campus Burger King. Lots of people around there but I always managed to find a table to myself and had computer labs to go to after.

 

[tuxtux]

Am I the only person who has observed that at university, it's a lot more common to be alone during lunch than it was at highschool to be alone during breaks?
At uni, there is no dedicated time for lunch, you just go when you're hungry and have some time (so not everyone will be going to lunch at the same time). Sitting by yourself in the cafeteria with a tray of food and a textbook will not make you look like a loner but like a dedicated student who doesn't want to be disturbed but is hungry nonetheless . It's not a big deal who sits with whom either. Generally, lunch isn't such a big deal and people don't think you're pathetic if you spend time alone on campus (and usually have other problems than to observe everyone's social life). Uni is a lot more anonymous, and a lot less like high school.

At high school, I usually either stood with some people I knew, or I sat somewhere with a book. (Got made fun of a couple times, I just snapped back "Can't you see I'm reading?". Well, I didn't really like anyone in the class at that time, so it was either read a good book or spend time with people I don't like in the first place... I usually brought a book to school) But people made a really big deal out of who was with whom, who was alone, and who was allowed to be with them during breaks. You'd think they were all going to major in sociology from their extended analyzing of other people's social life ^^

 

[smileyshygirl]

ugh! i used to hate and still hate going to high school lunches. for the past years of my high school life i have had a small group of friends to sit with but it was funny because each year i would sit with a different group of friends because each year a gruop would move or drop out of high school. now, in my senior year i have to option of either staying to hang out with friends at lunch or going home. what do i choose? going home of course! i tried to stay and hang out with friends at lunch but i dont really have much to say and its awkward because there is people at the spot where i hang out, that i dont know. sorry for the rant,lol. :roll: