Love-Shyness
- Thread starter Johnie
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andy12345
Member
No man is alone here lol.
I am battling my issues before I get too far gone.
I feel as a love shy man, that I am a true romantic and once I find a suitable woman I probably will love her so much that she gets cramped and has to go because "I am too intense"
I know that I would be a limpet on her arm lol.
padlocked
maybe even possessive
not sure
Truth is, until I get near a woman and try to do "the deed" lol I will never know if I am capable of closeness that a relationship requires.
I know myself very well and other people.
I seriously think that the only way a LS man is if a woman gets so fucking bored with waiting and does the klingon grab lol.
Do you guys know what I mean??????
LS guys, do you actually wince in shock or withdraw if a woman you like/love touches you. Is it like a magnetic field repulsion.?
CAn you control it in anyway?
I am battling my issues before I get too far gone.
I feel as a love shy man, that I am a true romantic and once I find a suitable woman I probably will love her so much that she gets cramped and has to go because "I am too intense"
I know that I would be a limpet on her arm lol.
padlocked
maybe even possessive
not sure
Truth is, until I get near a woman and try to do "the deed" lol I will never know if I am capable of closeness that a relationship requires.
I know myself very well and other people.
I seriously think that the only way a LS man is if a woman gets so fucking bored with waiting and does the klingon grab lol.
Do you guys know what I mean??????
LS guys, do you actually wince in shock or withdraw if a woman you like/love touches you. Is it like a magnetic field repulsion.?
CAn you control it in anyway?
TooShyShy
Well-known member
Please explain this to me!!! WHY is it so difficult to be touched or shown love and affection. I try to sweetly touch my shy guy from time to time..like today i told him to have a nice weekend when i walked by..he kinda kept to himself today and would only comment on little things if i started the conversation first HE COULD BARELY LOOK AT ME TODAY but he didn't hide himself away from me either.
He had his head down and as i walked by i gently touched his shoulder and told him to have a good weekend..he said the same back but couldn't look at me!!!! Arggggggh... WHY?
Anyone else talks to him and he's fine..he's at ease, funny and can make eye contact with no problem..smiles.
I can't imagine what his life has been like and what exactly happened to make him this way. My heart breaks for him!!!!!!
I would give anything to have him just relax, open up his heart to me and take a chance.
faithnomore
Banned
TooShyShy said:
He probably doesn't believe he is worthy of being loved. It is VERY hard for us guys to believe that a girl will want us.
You just have to hang around with him, and he will probably become more comfortable with you.
TooShyShy
Well-known member
Noooooo i wish, we are coworkers. He is a great guy, very sweet, polite..will do anything i ask..he just can't ever me comfortable or "normal" around me. Everyone else he is fine. He has a great personality as well but i only see it when he's with others.
He's afraid of me EVERYONE SEES IT but he won't go away either. He tends to be around me all the time; always says hello to me first, hangs out where ever i am when he doesn't need to be there, etc.
He just has this fear thing whenever i am around and its seemingly only with ME he does befriend all the married woman in the place i have noticed and is VERY comfortable and easy going ith them.
I am the only one he can't function around.
He's afraid of me EVERYONE SEES IT but he won't go away either. He tends to be around me all the time; always says hello to me first, hangs out where ever i am when he doesn't need to be there, etc.
He just has this fear thing whenever i am around and its seemingly only with ME he does befriend all the married woman in the place i have noticed and is VERY comfortable and easy going ith them.
I am the only one he can't function around.
andy12345
Member
Its a classic.
If you really want to spend time with this man, you are going to have to the klingon woman routine. LOL
you have to take him, otherwise forget it.
I know that's what I need lol.
To be grabbed.
Why dont you send him this link about love shynesss so he can understand the issues and the pain behind it?
If you really want to spend time with this man, you are going to have to the klingon woman routine. LOL
you have to take him, otherwise forget it.
I know that's what I need lol.
To be grabbed.
Why dont you send him this link about love shynesss so he can understand the issues and the pain behind it?
TooShyShy
Well-known member
I know, its just so hard. But i do know its going to have to be me. Its just not something i think he can handle doing.
I do have a question..even on his shyest of days he's always hanging around me at some point (sometimes sitting in a chair) near my door where i come and go to get to the office, ladies room, etc. sometimes i wonder if he wants me to come sit by him...he leaves himself wide open or for me to do more than just exchange hellos, which we do.
A few times when i went to go sit by him to aska question he looked like he would seriously pass out..he would talk to me of course but he looked so serious and so scared that i made me nervous.
But i noticed ever since that day, even if he's alone..he still sits by that door. Sometimes he is fiddling with his phone other times talks to whomever walks by...or at times just sits there alone.
Wouldn't he NOT do that if he didn't want me to go over and talk..i mean i did twice in the last month to ask him something and you'd think he'd stop doing it KNOWING that i could do it again if i was disturbing him or he didn't like me sitting near him - correct?????
I was just wondering if its something you think he wants me to do (or doesn't mind me doing) when i walk by him????
I would only do it if he were alone..sometimes he's talking to coworkers BUT he's always there...and he just looks at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I do have a question..even on his shyest of days he's always hanging around me at some point (sometimes sitting in a chair) near my door where i come and go to get to the office, ladies room, etc. sometimes i wonder if he wants me to come sit by him...he leaves himself wide open or for me to do more than just exchange hellos, which we do.
A few times when i went to go sit by him to aska question he looked like he would seriously pass out..he would talk to me of course but he looked so serious and so scared that i made me nervous.
But i noticed ever since that day, even if he's alone..he still sits by that door. Sometimes he is fiddling with his phone other times talks to whomever walks by...or at times just sits there alone.
Wouldn't he NOT do that if he didn't want me to go over and talk..i mean i did twice in the last month to ask him something and you'd think he'd stop doing it KNOWING that i could do it again if i was disturbing him or he didn't like me sitting near him - correct?????
I was just wondering if its something you think he wants me to do (or doesn't mind me doing) when i walk by him????
I would only do it if he were alone..sometimes he's talking to coworkers BUT he's always there...and he just looks at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
andy12345
Member
I am one super love shy person.
I know what I need lol.
Now, a woman playing after a squirming man is not as bad as a man playing after a squirming woman.
Men are meant to be hardier etc and men would not file harrassment charges so easily as they are tougher.
I think you should make excuses to brush against or touch him.
In fact even slapping him on the ass might give him some idea lol.
That's what happened to my love shy cousin lol. His eyebrows went to the ceiling.
He did not say a word to the woman lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
So, get on him lol.
put your hand on his neck/wrist/arm/chest and ask if your hands feel cold that sort of clever shit.
Make excuses to touch him.
Even take a necklace/bracelet off and ask him if he can put it on you lol.
Just thinking as I type.
Be smart see what happpens.
If you can be alone with him you may have to lock the door and put the key someone on your person lol so he cant get out.
If he is always hanging around you.
The only problem is that love shy men can be very intense and cloying to the point of cramping your life.
Still, I am sure you will have fun in bed together if you get together.
You may still have to take the upper hand lol.........
straight to the point, that's me lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I know what I need lol.
Now, a woman playing after a squirming man is not as bad as a man playing after a squirming woman.
Men are meant to be hardier etc and men would not file harrassment charges so easily as they are tougher.
I think you should make excuses to brush against or touch him.
In fact even slapping him on the ass might give him some idea lol.
That's what happened to my love shy cousin lol. His eyebrows went to the ceiling.
He did not say a word to the woman lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
So, get on him lol.
put your hand on his neck/wrist/arm/chest and ask if your hands feel cold that sort of clever shit.
Make excuses to touch him.
Even take a necklace/bracelet off and ask him if he can put it on you lol.
Just thinking as I type.
Be smart see what happpens.
If you can be alone with him you may have to lock the door and put the key someone on your person lol so he cant get out.
If he is always hanging around you.
The only problem is that love shy men can be very intense and cloying to the point of cramping your life.
Still, I am sure you will have fun in bed together if you get together.
You may still have to take the upper hand lol.........
straight to the point, that's me lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
TooShyShy
Well-known member
Thats why i am still hanging in there bcuz i feel he's worth it and i do see past the shyness & anxiety...i see he likes me and he tries...other then the shyness (which i can be myself) he is perfect for me.
I can't wait for Valentines Day i hope he likes what i have planned.
I can't wait for Valentines Day i hope he likes what i have planned.
notmyrealname
Member
Damn, you guys went to town while I was gone. I've lurked now and again.
There were like a million things I wanted to respond specifically to, but I'm going to pick this one. andy12345? I know EXACTLY what that feels like. I totally do it.
For me, it's a panic response. And it's involuntary, I can't control it. A technique that a therapist has shown me, which I do plan to use if I'm ever in that situation again, is to just flat out admit what it is. A panic response. To the touch. NOT the person. A nice girl would hopefully understand, and be patient and gentle.
In high school, this girl totally had it for me. Only I was completely distracted by another girl. One day, we were playing cards in class. She laid her hand on top of mine and I completely lost it. I withdrew my hand as if she stabbled it, and my whole body just shook. A total meltdown. Thankfully it was near the end of class. The bell rang, and I just bolted. Without ever saying a word. That wasn't the last time I saw her, but we never talked about what happened.
andy12345 said:
There were like a million things I wanted to respond specifically to, but I'm going to pick this one. andy12345? I know EXACTLY what that feels like. I totally do it.
For me, it's a panic response. And it's involuntary, I can't control it. A technique that a therapist has shown me, which I do plan to use if I'm ever in that situation again, is to just flat out admit what it is. A panic response. To the touch. NOT the person. A nice girl would hopefully understand, and be patient and gentle.
In high school, this girl totally had it for me. Only I was completely distracted by another girl. One day, we were playing cards in class. She laid her hand on top of mine and I completely lost it. I withdrew my hand as if she stabbled it, and my whole body just shook. A total meltdown. Thankfully it was near the end of class. The bell rang, and I just bolted. Without ever saying a word. That wasn't the last time I saw her, but we never talked about what happened.
notmyrealname
Member
TooShyShy said:
And you, TooShyShy? Ask the guy out already! On a DATE. Like say the word, "date." Then it should be perfectly clear to your coworker friend where your feelings lie. If he says yes, congratulations! If no, I say move on.
Dates don't have to be big romantic deals! A walk in the park with a special someone would be heaven for me. That's all it has to be.
Women everywhere really need to be more assertive with this dating game. At the very least, to get a feel for what it's like on the other side.
Man, asking girls out is like the hardest thing in the world for me. I have to totally psyche myself up for it. Sometimes I take tequila shots. For reals. And I use the word "date." So there's no confusion. There's hanging out, and there's dating. Very different.
jayo
Well-known member
I hate to admit it but I must have this as well.
I'm in my mid 30s and it's been 10 years since I was with a girl.
If you think that's sad after a couple of months together she said 'is meeting me the highlight of your week?'.
It was - she was right - but I was crushed to thing how pathetic my life was because of these anxieties.
I'm looking forward to the after life - sitting down with the man above - and understanding just what experiences or thought processes have led me down the path where I can't assert myself in the way so many people I know can with women, to have friends, to live life. :?
I'm in my mid 30s and it's been 10 years since I was with a girl.
If you think that's sad after a couple of months together she said 'is meeting me the highlight of your week?'.
It was - she was right - but I was crushed to thing how pathetic my life was because of these anxieties.
I'm looking forward to the after life - sitting down with the man above - and understanding just what experiences or thought processes have led me down the path where I can't assert myself in the way so many people I know can with women, to have friends, to live life. :?
TooShyShy
Well-known member
I want to ask him out and i will..but i want to prepare myself and him. Thats why i am giving him the Valentines card bcuz i want him to see it coming so when i do it he doesn't get all nervous and crazed and say no and then stalk me for the next 3 months bcuz he regrets being so scared and turning me down instead of relaxing and thinking about what he REALLY wants!!!!!!!!
Thats why my card will put it out their. You are the only one i am giving Valentines to, bcuz i am crazy about you (THE CARD SAYS YOU ARE LOVED) and "In case you haven't figured it out I AM NOT giving up on you!!!!"
I want it to be an honest and clean break if thats what it will be but my heart tells me he isn't going to turn me down IF its done correctly.
I am trying to be sensitive to him and his anxieties and knowing hi the wya i do now this is the best way...the doing it ''cold turkey'' does not work with a man like him.
I think some of you would agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats why my card will put it out their. You are the only one i am giving Valentines to, bcuz i am crazy about you (THE CARD SAYS YOU ARE LOVED) and "In case you haven't figured it out I AM NOT giving up on you!!!!"
I want it to be an honest and clean break if thats what it will be but my heart tells me he isn't going to turn me down IF its done correctly.
I am trying to be sensitive to him and his anxieties and knowing hi the wya i do now this is the best way...the doing it ''cold turkey'' does not work with a man like him.
I think some of you would agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
getbornagain
Well-known member
Lately something has been bothering me. I find when I'm talking to a girl I search for some sort of feeling for her, but I get nothing. I have OCD and have been battling chronic depression but whenever I have a convo with a girl and feel nothing it makes me really choked. Does that make sense? I mean, I get by with conversation with girls but I'm always thinking about what my next sentence will be lol, there is some anxiety there and maybe that's why I don't feel a connection? It's just a shitty deal. From afar I'm so attracted to pretty much every girl... the closer I get the emptiness fills. I don't understand what is wrong with me.
Carlsbad
Active member
getbornagain said:
So what you are saying is that when you talk to women, you feel empty because you believe that because of your disorder you cannot relate to them? Same for me, cause sooner or later if I ever get in a relationship, how embarassing would it be for me to tell a woman that I have never been in a relationship?
That is why I want a nice woman asking me out, at least I would feel like she would understand. Otherwise I would be drowned in overwhelming shame, and I would fear I could jeopardize the relationship with my non-existent past. That is just my two cents. I can understand why shy guys get pissed when their friends try to set them up with a date: they do not know what you want, and they are only doing so because they think everyone deserves a cute match. It ain't that simple. Damn it, I am rambling again...
TooShyShy
Well-known member
You two are making me so nervous. My shy guy seems 10 times worse and when he gets into his "shy moods" like today i have second thoughts about continuing and then stay away from him bcuz all i can think about is how he could never date moe ro be in a relationship with me bcuz he can't even handle being around me certain days..its so hurtful and sad!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then when I with draw out of total desperation and defeat (in my mind anyway) it is as always just to have him notice this and try to be in my face again UUUUUUGH!!!!! I have to admit, today i was just really aggrivated by his behavior..this is too hard.
I hate this sh#! so friggin much!
Its really not fair.
Then when I with draw out of total desperation and defeat (in my mind anyway) it is as always just to have him notice this and try to be in my face again UUUUUUGH!!!!! I have to admit, today i was just really aggrivated by his behavior..this is too hard.
I hate this sh#! so friggin much!
Its really not fair.
getbornagain
Well-known member
If a girl ever came up to me and said "I don't care if you're nervous or inexperienced, lets hang out, no pressure, etc." I would never be able to say no. Have you considered saying that lol
notmyrealname
Member
Damn, I get pissed when I realize my friends AREN'T setting me up. Back in the day, a friend offered to set me up once, and I was all, "Oh no, no." Now it's kinda hurting. I've actually been asking around, "Know anyone single who'd want to go out with me?" Etc. Out of my million platonic girlfriends, not ONE knows a nice single girl for me?Carlsbad said: