Love-shyness in popular culture

[sphynx]

It has occurred to me that shyness in love matters may not be as scarce as the oft-quoted 1.5% figure suggests, because there are successful movies, series, and books that deal with this matter, so many people must empathize with these problems. To prove this point let's make a list to see how many such movies/series/books there are.

I'll start:

1. "The Switch (2010)" - Wally (Jason Bateman) can't admit to his friend Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) that he secretly loves her, even after accidentally making her a baby.

2. "The Big Bang Theory" - Raj is a clinical love-shy case, of course, but Howard and Lenard aren't far off, at least until about season 6.

3. "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" - Harry and Ron are terrified when forced to find dates for the Yule Ball. Yes, they are only teenagers, but other kids don't seem so terrified, so there is still a differentiation even at this age.

4. "Futurama" - Kif Kroker is a textbook example of love-shyness. Even though Amy clearly likes him and wants to date him (and he's madly in love with her) he just can't do it, and can barely speak in her presence.

Anything else?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Anything else?

Sure!

"Love-shyness" is not a legitimate mental disorder recognized by any remotely credible mental health organization.

This means it is invariable self-diagnosed, and self-diagnosing mental illness to begin with is a fool's game. "Love-shyness" is poorly defined and therefor maintains great popular appeal. You aren't going on dates? Define yourself as Love Shy! Anyone can do it! Now you have an Illness!

Except no. There are legitimate illnesses that can make socializing and dating difficult. Some people don't have an active love life because aspergers, social anxiety, AVPD and so on are proving difficult to overcome. Some people are just obnoxious, obviously wacko or otherwise unappealing. Some people have all of the above and more getting in the way of partnering up.

"Love-shy" is a term invented by a Brian. G. Gilmartin, known for confusing pseudoscience such as astrology with actual science. His research (such as it was) was very limited in scope and not expanded upon past the 80s by himself or anyone else.

Yeah, I think that'll do it.

erfect:

 

[PugofCrydee]

Samwise Gamgee / Rosie Cotton, although I wouldn't consider Sam as having mental health issues lol. Wormtongue...Now there is a guy that had issues

 

[sphynx]

To be clear, within this context I'm using "love-shyness" in a broad sense - apprehension about revealing one's romantic feelings to a point that one simply cannot or won't do it, not as a medical or pseudo-medical term coined by whoever.

 

[Kiwong]

Chewbacca - Love-shy definitely. Godzilla- Love-shy and angry. The blob -Love-shy and hungry.

 

[sphynx]

Just remembered another one:

"Stargate SG-1, episode 10x15, Bounty" - Col. Mitchell reveals that he had a huge crush on a girl at high-school, but never made a move because he was scared and shy, and thought she was way out of his league. Turns out that the girl really liked him too and waited for him to ask her to the prom, even rejected some other guys to give him a chance. Well, at least they kind of got together in the end of the episode. Of course it does help to get a confidence boost if you're a colonel, a war hero, and a space explorer.

 

[Livemylife]

I think Helga on Hey Arnold was love-shy. A lot of kid/teen characters are like that. However, I can't think of any adult characters portrayed in the same way.
I don't think it's common in popular culture.

 

[Kiwong]

Pennywise the Dancing Clown not love shy.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Quasimodo was love-shy for Esmeralda way back in 1831.

 

[sphynx]

Can't believe I forgot "The 40 Year Old Virgin". It's a textbook example, and the primary basis for the plot too, not something marginal.

Also, Peter Parker (at least in the "old" Spiderman trilogy) can't ask Mary-Jane out and keeps losing her to other guys, apparently because he feels inadequate and unworthy. And he's a freaking superhero! And he knows she likes him (at least when he wears a mask). But even when she finally takes the initiative, he rejects her. He even tries to justify it: "Well, I have this great responsibility, I put my loved ones at risk, so I can't afford romance". Sounds familiar? So many similar stories on this forum (except for the superhero part).

 

[Odo]

I think children/early teens/teens in general are always going to be shy about the opposite sex... it's not a disorder.

Usually the movies portray shyer older people as being seriously troubled, creepy or I suppose lovable losers.

 

[sphynx]

> Usually the movies portray shyer older people as being seriously troubled,
> creepy or I suppose lovable losers.

One notable counter-example: most of the characters in "Stargate: SG-1" and spin-offs

 

[sphynx]

Ah, here's another classic: George McFly, "Back to the Future - Part I". Nothing short of a death threat from Darth Vader could force him to talk to a girl.

 

[megalon]

There aren't many examples where they take a serious approach to it though. It's usually presented as something to laugh at.

 

[sphynx]

There aren't many examples where they take a serious approach to it though. It's usually presented as something to laugh at.

Firstly, any kind of portrayal raises awareness. That's important too.

Secondly, I can easily think of quite a few completely non-comic examples. In this thread alone we have Quasimodo, Peter Parker, and Cameron Mitchell to name a few.

And lastly, even the comical figures exist not only for laughs. Take "The 40 Year Old Virgin", for example. While Andy's "friends" do kind of ridicule him at first, and then take pity and try to set him up with a woman, by the end of the movie they arrive at the conclusion that Andy's lifestyle is a better option, and they are being serious.

 

[Kiwong]

Cousin It - Life shy