lost...

[pear]

Hi everyone I am new to the site. I am a recent college graduate with Selective Mutism. It’s something I was able to grow out of somewhat (I am not completely mute anymore just extremely shy) I was never treated for it....never spoke to any counselors, I just sort of spoke to "survive" I guess you could say. Now that I am finished school, I am having such a hard time trying to find a job. I have my degree in communications (ironically) & I am looking for something that involves more writing and less dealing with people. Lately, this has been getting me depressed because this is no way to live. I want to be successful, I want to do so many things....but SM always pushes those things out of reach for me. I don’t want to be limited....I feel like this is so unfair. I hate SM and honestly I think it's a stupid thing to have (especially as an adult.) As a child I was this cute little shy girl... as an adult people assume I am a stuck up b*tch. Every time I go to an interview my SM kicks in and I completely bomb the interview. I don't know how I am ever going to find a job! I feel like SM is my curse and it's keeping me from living a happy life....

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

First of all, congratulations on your degree.
My anxiety has kept me away from college at all.

I wish I had something inspiring to say, or even something to contribute to your topic.
But I guess I just wanted to say I read what you wrote and noticed.
As someone suffering a lot of the same fate, I console with you.
I really really hope things work out for you, because it seems like you're in a good place, just struggling with starting out.
Sorry if I didn't help at all.

 

[Feathers]

Hi pear!

Congratulations on finishing the degree, yup! Did you do anything to celebrate?

What kind of jobs have you been looking for? Some writing jobs might not need interviews, you could apply online and make a portfolio?

Alternatively, there are lots of books and articles on how to interview well, how to prepare for questions and practise etc. Those might be helpful too..
Have you tried any CBT or NLP yet - changing thought patterns or mental images to make things more friendly in your head? You can learn from books or workshops too..

I was intrigued in selective mutism ever since I saw the film The Piano - have you ever seen it?
It is just a part of you - maybe by others you're seen as a mysterious beautiful lady they'd like to get to know better?

 

[pear]

Hey everyone.... thank you for your kind words. No,I am not in therapy for SM....I've never been treated for it and never even considered it until now. I have never even gone to websites like this before or spoken to other people who deal with the same problems I am faced with. This is all new to me but I think it is about time I do.
I never heard of the film the piano, but I googled it and it sounds interesting...def gotta check it out.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

it's really good that you're doing some more exploring/searching and learning more about SM and others who can relate to you.. it actually helps a ton just to feel like you're not the only one feeling the frustration that you feel, ya know? i'm sure it'd help you to see some sort of therapist or someone to help you cope and learn to deal with your SM and make it better! maybe you could research some books or something to start with and see whats out there??

you should be extremely proud of yourself for getting that degree! that's awesome! best wishes to you and i hope you can find a way to make things much better