Dark angel
Well-known member
Hi everyone! Is my first time posting something here. I needed to talk to somebody because this whole thing about being afraid of getting near to others is taking over. I'm a biology student, 24 years old and never had a boyfriend, and I do have friends but lately I'm setting myself apart from them and I don't know why I do this. Yeah, sometimes I enjoy being on my own and alone but it scares me that i'm going to be this way for the rest of my life. The thing is that it all started with my friends but it is also happening with my family. For some weird reason, I feel like my space is being invaded when I'm around others and not only that, (except from my mother and brother) I can't relate with other members of my family because I don't know how to behave or to be myself. I feel like alienated.The other thing is that my friends call me constantly to know how everything is going but something inside me tells me to not answer their calls because somehow, I feel threaten and envious about their lives. They don't have to be ashamed by the way they look, or they don't have to be constantly wondering what others might be thinking about them. But I do. Sometimes when I go out, I feel like people are wondering bad things about my image and how I look and that makes me behave weirdly or seem anti-social but I don't want to be that person. I'm planning to take acting classes to see if I can ease all this feelings but I don't know if is a good idea because I used to sweat, and stutter everytime I had to do and oral presentation in a class. And my heart started beating faster! It's has been a while since I've being in front of a crowd and I don't know what to expect. I think that confronting the feat might be better than having constant suicide thoughts and suffer from depression. What do you guys think, anything you would like to share?