Loneliness

[Dark angel]

Hi everyone! Is my first time posting something here. I needed to talk to somebody because this whole thing about being afraid of getting near to others is taking over. I'm a biology student, 24 years old and never had a boyfriend, and I do have friends but lately I'm setting myself apart from them and I don't know why I do this. Yeah, sometimes I enjoy being on my own and alone but it scares me that i'm going to be this way for the rest of my life. The thing is that it all started with my friends but it is also happening with my family. For some weird reason, I feel like my space is being invaded when I'm around others and not only that, (except from my mother and brother) I can't relate with other members of my family because I don't know how to behave or to be myself. I feel like alienated.The other thing is that my friends call me constantly to know how everything is going but something inside me tells me to not answer their calls because somehow, I feel threaten and envious about their lives. They don't have to be ashamed by the way they look, or they don't have to be constantly wondering what others might be thinking about them. But I do. Sometimes when I go out, I feel like people are wondering bad things about my image and how I look and that makes me behave weirdly or seem anti-social but I don't want to be that person. I'm planning to take acting classes to see if I can ease all this feelings but I don't know if is a good idea because I used to sweat, and stutter everytime I had to do and oral presentation in a class. And my heart started beating faster! It's has been a while since I've being in front of a crowd and I don't know what to expect. I think that confronting the feat might be better than having constant suicide thoughts and suffer from depression. What do you guys think, anything you would like to share?

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I think taking acting classes would be great. You know, something to get you used to being out there. If you get a lead role, then that'll be even greater (in the long run. I doubt you'll be thinking the same thing at that moment:!

As for the other things, don't try to follow a schematic on "how to act". Just do as you wish; that's all there is to it. Follow that and you'll find yourself surrounded by great friends. Speaking of that, why don't you force yourself to pick up the phone when they call? If they are your friends, then surely you can trust them, right? They won't hurt you. And (most of) society isn't worrying about how you look or out to hurt you. Most of them are wrapped up in their own thoughts and lives to worry about everyone else; besides, I'm sure you look fine! We tend to think that we look more hideous or off than we really are.

 

[upndwn]

First off, welcome to SPW Dark angel.

I think you will find that your anxiety regarding speeches and romantic advances is pretty common. A lot of people share these fears and especially people with SA/SP. I know I've had those fears since I've been a teenager, and now at 33 years old those fears are still strong.

There are many ways to face those fears, but for me it is humor that has worked the best. Whenever that fear comes creeping and you embarrass yourself because you stutter or say the wrong words, make a jest about it. Laugh with the rest of them, don't take yourself to seriously and you will relax more.

 

[Srijita52]

Hi, welcome to SPW. Acting seems like a good idea to me too, of course it might be hard at the first time but you can get used to it specially if its something you enjoy doing. I can relate to you about setting apart from people. One thing that helps me is reminding myself that while I enjoy my alone time I also have to spend a certain amount of time with my friends cos its something which is also important to me. I also feel bad about my image sometimes but I try to do my best to overcome my flaws and there's nothing more I can do about it, this helps me sometimes. Good luck