LONELINESS

[kuze]

I spend everyday alone with the exception of a brief conversation with a family member. This loneliness hurts so bad, its a desperate feeling I can't escape, the worst are nights like this when there is nothing to do and everyone is asleep. These nights really remind me how much of a solitary person I am, I guess this is how adam felt before God made eve. Its so hard looking back at 5 yrs of this, I really dont know how I did it, maybe back then I figured things would get better by now. Now it hurts everyday, it sucks all the joy out of everything in life, being inside for so long has now messed me up further. Today I went to the library for 5 mins and almost had a huge breakdown, in reality nothing even happened, nobody was staring at me, it wasnt that crowded, I was just so fragile that the sight of real people sent me into panic mode. Now I cant go outside but I hate being alone, I'm left here with the internet as my only glimpse into the world. A few years back I used to say i would kill myself but in reality I dont think I can do that. When u add up my physical appearance, it seems like there is no good fortune awaiting me. My depression is with me all the time, I resort to day dreaming, listening to music, anything to take my mind off of reality. Its 2:23 am right now and Im just stuck, dont want to sleep, dont want to watch tv, no one to talk to and I really dont want to wake up tomorrow. :|

 

[Ventrilo]

we're in the same boat

 

[Lexmark]

Yeah I am the same
Hasent been so bad until the last few weeks but now I spend all day alone and dont want to leave the house just because its easier to stay inside.
Video games, T.V, reading, and once every couple of weeks I will do something with one of my few freinds.
I used to have a girlfreind, mates and a job where people liked me but I never was comftable and gave it all away because of SP. Im not happier but its definetly easier because if im at home with no human contact than I can pretend I dont have SP.

 

[footballfan]

do you live on your own? maybe you could see a family member, see how they are, or let them know how you are.

 

[Kamen]

Same here. However, at the same time I am not interested very much in being with people since I was born. Not only because of the social phobia, I am simply an introvert, with melancholic temperament, and prefer to be alone.

Let me ask you something: Are you the same or you want to be with people but cannot because of the phobia?

 

[Rodox]

I used to be the same,but so much time alone I got used to it,even miss sometimes.

 

[recluse]

Hi you are not alone. I am lonely yet being with people makes me feel lonely still.

 

[oxygene]

I`m in the same situation. It seems like every other day is just the same, but I`m getting old.

 

[Walk]

Amazing how we're all in the same boat.

My advice would be to inch your way into getting used to social situations.

Actually, I'm going to sign up at a BJJ joint tomorrow, at least visit it. I've been procrastinating it and listening to you makes me motivated to do this.

 

[ImTired]

kuze....It brought tears to my eyes reading your post because I could have written it myself. But I could never imagine that there was another person out there who could be this lonely and feel exactly like I do. I also have no one to talk to, have trouble sleeping at night and just dread nighttime in general because of this. Sometimes I am so lonely I feel like I can't do it another day.
Do you have trouble with anxiety at night? I do.
I really never thought there was another person like me. Thank you for writing your post.

 

[ImTired]

kuze....It brought tears to my eyes reading your post because I could have written it myself. But I could never imagine that there was another person out there who could be this lonely and feel exactly like I do. I also have no one to talk to, have trouble sleeping at night and just dread nighttime in general because of this. Sometimes I am so lonely I feel like I can't do it another day.
Do you have trouble with anxiety at night? I do.
I really never thought there was another person like me. Thank you for writing your post.

 

[Ericisme]

Dude, tell me about it. I literaly go to sleep at 6:00-7:00am(7:02 now), I use to feel that way. Honestly, somthing that helped ALOT, XBOX LIVE. All you do is talk to people with your voice, dont even need to. Took me a month or so before I did, several months later im talking to people that i have known half the time as if they were my best friends, talking about anything. But i know that its never gonna work in real life really, but it helps not to feel lonely. I still rarely go to family things, never go outside otherwise. Its the same, just not as lonely, and fun.

Im serious to you people, get Xbox Live, on the Xbox 360. Its fun and social, might help you with that, it also doesnt make you feel lonely. It didnt help me with being social, but who knows. Honestly, im only on the computer so much now cuz my 360 broke, its gonna be back in few weeks. You might wanna watch it tho, most of the time the people get loud and start insulting everybody for nothing. It really did hurt my feelings(yes over Xbox Live), but who knows, maybe it could help you in real life. Honestly, now im doing the insulting now! HAHA!

BUT IT SERIOUSLY DID HELP WITH THE LONLINESS.

If you can't get one, just chat on the computer alot more often. On these types of forums mostly, wait not these, usualy takes hours or days to get a response on these slow things.