Life Sucks & I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

[Lonelyguy1058]

I am almost 30 years old and I live at home with my parents and grandmother. I do not have a job at the moment, nor can I find one. I have never had a girlfriend and I am a virgin. I cannot stand living here anymore it sucks. Everything I do is wrong and my parents treat me as if I am a teenager. Even when I go out they call me and ask where I am and what time I am coming home.

I have only been on one date in my life, that was setup by my cousin. It was a disaster, I could barely speak the poor girl. I felt so bad for her that she was a date with me.

Let's face it, I am never going to find a good enough job to move out of my parents house. I am never going to find that special someone to share love and life with. Who would want a 30 year old virgin jobless loser anyway?

I drop out of Community College, An the only jobs I have had were.

1. Cook at a Bingo game once a week in a school gym for 1 year.
2. Night stock at a grocery store for a month.
3. Replenishment associate at a retail art store for 9 months. Lost this job earier this year.

I don't any money to go back to school and I suck at taking test. Especially math test. I can do math. Just not on test. I wouldn't even know what to take.

My whole life has been spent having people yell at me. My parents, relatives, My teachers ( I was not a bad kid at all ), My boss's. Everyone just seems to yell at me. Random people on the street. I am very quiet shy person filled with anxiety. I get very nervous alot of time. When people yell at me I just want to cry, when I screw something and it's no big deal I just want to cry. I feel depressed alot of the time.

Life seems so overwhelming to me and I have no idea how I am going to make it in this world. :: Sorry for the long post.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I'm nearly 30 myself and live with my dad, and also a virgin. I'm getting to where I just think I'd be much better of staying single so I dont worry about that anymore. Like you, I am getting very sick of where I live, but, there is no possible way for me to afford car payments and an apartment (I usually bring home about 1,200 a month).

So far my only jobs have been in food service, I'm considering going back to college (I had to use a medical withdrawal). but Im worried that I may not be smart enough to do very well.

Anyway, youre not alone and you have my sympathies

 

[Hastings & Main]

Hey there Lonelyguy1058, and welcome to the site.

You're already headed in the right direction just by joining & posting.
Stay on board, do some research here, listen to what others have to say and you're heading towards a new life.
It may take a while, but I can honestly say this place kickstarted my own recovery from a place almost the same as yours. It's work, but everything worth anything has a lot of work behind it.

 

[findingbeauty]

Social anxiety causes employment trouble for me, too. I'm terrified of doing something wrong or being reprimanded. I'm also looking for alternative ways to make a living. There has got to be another way for sensitive souls like us! I know you're feeling down right now and it's probably hard to see much positive, but could you tell me this? What are your interests (what do you like/enjoy -including leisure)? And what are you good at/or what have you done well in the past that you felt proud of? Think simple and small - day to day level...

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[Lonelyguy1058]

Social anxiety causes employment trouble for me, too. I'm terrified of doing something wrong or being reprimanded. I'm also looking for alternative ways to make a living. There has got to be another way for sensitive souls like us! I know you're feeling down right now and it's probably hard to see much positive, but could you tell me this? What are your interests (what do you like/enjoy -including leisure)? And what are you good at/or what have you done well in the past that you felt proud of? Think simple and small - day to day level...

What am I good at?

Sleeping.
Driving.
Riding BMX Bicycles.

 

[Bustn Justin]

I am 31 and never been with a female.

Hang in there. Here you can get support to turn things around

 

[Lonelyguy1058]

Thank you everyone.

 

[findingbeauty]

If you enjoy driving, what about getting a commercial driver's license and drive truck? Can do local or national. If you're REALLY good or have the drive you could get into professional bmx racing, but age for that stops at 40. Anyway, if you're interested in brainstorming a way out, let me know! If you are just looking for understanding, also let me know!

As for women, I've been in a relationship for 3 years with a 41 year old virgin. He is not comfortable with intimacy and while I wish he were more physical, I would not leave him over that issue. He has a good job now, but didn't when I met him. I can't say it's happily ever after because we have other issues that may someday break us, but it's not over him being a virgin. To me that is WAY more appealing than a guy who has slept around a ton. So don't lose hope over that! A decent girl may have fear of your capability of holding a relationship at first! but may just as well find you a treasure.

 

[Facethefear]

Driving; concentrate on that. There are many jobs for good drivers. Stay at home -save your money - your parents will treat you better when you can support yourself - you might meet a nice girl driving around - maybe you need medication to get you through this period in your life - I hate to hear about people yelling at you; that is so rude like a verbal beat down. It doesn't happen to me very often, but I have had to look at someone and say slowly "Do Not Yell at ME" " I can't hear you when you are shouting" over and over as they were losing it , until they realized they were not getting the hoped for reaction.
Good luck 1058 and keep us posted - nobody here is going to yell at you.

 

[Lonelyguy1058]

Update

So yesterday I asked my mom if she could tell my dad to bring me a sub from Subway on his way home. Well I fell asleep and my mom brought the sub up to my room and woke me up. She said that I better eat it, cause your dad said "Why did you want me to buy him one? He is sleeping". Well I ate the sub and layed back down in bed and cried myself to sleep.

I don't understand why my parents are so mean to me. So I fell asleep, all you have to do is wake me up. Why does everything I do end in failure? Why are people constantly mad at me?

I just don't want people to be mad at me. ::

 

[Amitush123]

Update

So yesterday I asked my mom if she could tell my dad to bring me a sub from Subway on his way home. Well I fell asleep and my mom brought the sub up to my room and woke me up. She said that I better eat it, cause your dad said "Why did you want me to buy him one? He is sleeping". Well I ate the sub and layed back down in bed and cried myself to sleep.

I don't understand why my parents are so mean to me. So I fell asleep, all you have to do is wake me up. Why does everything I do end in failure? Why are people constantly mad at me?

I just don't want people to be mad at me. ::

I understand you, I once quit my job because I felt trapped and chained, however, I did not tell my parents so they will not be disappointed..
In the end, they found out on their own and caught me lying..my dad was very disappointed..I could not sleep that night from shame..