Just Need To Put This Out Somewhere

PandaBear

PandaBear

Active member
All of you guys are so sweet. So, here I go.

I’m so scared right now. I really really like this girl and I want nothing more than to meet her and hug her and hold her and just be with her. She’s amazing. Pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted. But I’m so worried she is going to get bored of me. I’m so worried that she’s going to realize that I’m so effed up and not worth the trouble. She tells me all these things, that she likes me and that she likes talking to me, but I worry that she’s just talking to me because she has no one else to talk to. Sometimes, I think people do that subconsciously. I know she wouldn’t do that on purpose. She’s too nice. She tells me to stop worrying. She gives me these great compliments. Why don’t I listen? Why can’t I just chill? I’ve waited for something like this for so long and it does make me happy, the happiest I’ve been in a long time. So why am I so sad right now? Maybe because she’s so far away. Maybe because I’m so worried I’ll never have the courage to pick up the phone and call her. Maybe because my fears are legitimate. She’s just so out of my league. Seeing a picture of her beautiful ex-girlfriend and then looking at myself in the mirror, I just feel awful. I know.. looks shouldn't matter. I still feel insecure though. I can't stop thinking. Every time I say something and she answers with a short response I think, "She's uninterested. I shouldn't have said that." I open up too easily and she holds a lot of things back.

This girl makes me want to get over my social phobia so badly.

I'm a girl too, by the way. This complicates things a bit more.
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
hm, take it very slowly and get to know each other?

if she holds a lot of things back, maybe she's not so awesome as you may think she is!! :)
so, when you get to know her faults and flaws and STILL like her, that's when you can have any kind of future maybe!!

Have you even met up yet? People can be very different long-distance than in RL.

Also, 'boring' is way underrated. I was just thinking this today.

There are many things worse than 'boring' - eg violent people or too much drama etc.
Even if you don't know your good points, other people may see them...

Your mind likes to have thoughts, so maybe just occupy it with different thoughts/projects, or some music etc. Nutrition and lifestyle can be factors in over-worrying too...

Beauty may be overrated too. I've known some VERY beautiful people (AND their flaws!!) and they are NOT flawless!! (even if they may LOOK angelic!!!)

Long distance things can be difficult, some people can make them work, some not... So don't take it personally if it doesn't work... Maybe you can learn from each other or may have important life lessons to share... It's not 'all or nothing'... Even if you remain just good pen-friends or such, it may be worth it to get to know this person better...
 
PandaBear

PandaBear

Active member
@ twiggle
She definitely knows I'm interested. She also knows about my SA and says she wants to help.
Thanks for your reply :)

@Feathers
That's what she wants to do, take it slowly. I guess I need to slow down a little. It's only been a week.

She says that she feels self-conscious when she talks about herself and she says she's just not ready to say certain things yet.

We have not met.

I expressed my concerns with the long-distance thing, but she's feels very strongly about them. She really thinks they can work.


Thanks, guys. I needed some reassurance. I think I might go out and get some books and try to focus on them.
 
vexatiousmind

vexatiousmind

Well-known member
I say tell her you want to meet up.
and if things go good, then great.
and if they don't, well at least you know.

all the best: )

besides who doesn't love panda bears?
 
PandaBear

PandaBear

Active member
vexatiousmind said:
I say tell her you want to meet up.
and if things go good, then great.
and if they don't, well at least you know.

all the best: )

besides who doesn't love panda bears?
Click to expand...

She lives a few states away.
Plus, her parents don't approve of her sexuality and my parents don't know yet.

Thanks :)

:cool:
 
PandaBear

PandaBear

Active member
Road to recovery said:
She sounds like a nice person and also very understanding. Positive people who are willing to help you should definitely stay in your life

I've lost a few really good friends because I've been scared to pick up the phone and I really do regret that.

I'd say go for it, it wont be easy at first but it will be so good for you. Good luck!
Click to expand...

I agree.

Thanks guys. Really.
 
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